I’ve been depressed for a few years
Posted , 4 users are following.
Hi everyone,
As the title say I've been handling depression for a while. Some days are easier than others and I just go through the ordeal one day at a time.
I finally reached out for help and got diagnosed with moderate depression, social anxiety and emotional trauma. Which was in october. The trouble is that I'm getting lower than my normal level of depression, where my head start to feel mushy and I only lay in bed the whole day. I have no appetite and no motivation.
The only things I've yet to feel is the normal
zoning out which will often happen when I get this low. I had CBT but it was put on hold because I need to fix anti-depressive. Which is quite annoying because I seem to not get a time with my health care when it comes to depression. It went faster getting help and time for other things. So it's still not fixed.
I'm just exhausted and trying to balance reading my last year at uni and soon going to start writing my thesis.
My anxiety don't help that much because it cause me to have pain in my shoulders and neck, I get reguarly tension headache and sometimes panic attacks.
I'm starting to neglect my pets but I make sure to clean their living space and that they have food but I don't spend time with them. They are the reason why I still force myself up from the bed.
I'm trying to stick to my routines but I'm slipping up again. It's like I need to pick what I can do which always end with at least force myself to fix one meal, study , take care of the bunnies and at least brush my teeth. The rest I no longer care. My feelings have been numbed and I can't properly think.
Going outdoors just make my social anxiety spike up and I can't train at home because of it. I often get nausea because of my anxiety and sometimes I can't sleep.
So I spend my time being low and acts all okay in front of my friends and family. They just see a happy person that is handling everything good. I can go off grid and no one would notice because of my withdrawal personality.
I'm not suicidal and don't have any of those thoughts but I just want to sleep and slip into a bubble, never leave the bed. Quite ironic I chatted on another forum, where I was told that I don't have depression and don't know anything, so I got quite a lot of lash out.
Don't know why I'm posting it here, I know a few things behind depression and the different theory, I know the basic about how signal substance in the head work because of what I'm studying and trying to become. The CBT just brought up the things I already knew and trying to fix slowly.
0 likes, 2 replies
sam18386 Laffay
Posted
hi laffay, if you don't have depression then i would like to know what you do have. you definitely do and it's clear you need support! if you are barely functioning and your level of health you need to speak to a doctor and soon, try the words poor mental health. you doctor should listen to that i hope. i think if you're taking medicine i think it may not be working well. so sorry your so ill. hope you get the help you need.
sam18386 Laffay
Posted
hi laffay, if you don't have depression then i would like to know what you do have. you definitely do and it's clear you need support! if you are barely functioning and your level of health you need to speak to a doctor and soon, try the words poor mental health. you doctor should listen to that i hope. i think if you're taking medicine i think it may not be working well. so sorry your so ill. hope you get the help you need.