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I'm actually finding out that I'm in the near-suicidal zone because I almost attempted suicide. When I'm around my friends I tell jokes and smile just to hide the pain. Apperantly I'm in a case is serious depression but I can't figure out how to bring it up with my family. Today, I had to do rolls in pe, so I kicked my head as hard as I could, and then during cartwheels I bent my wrist completely sideways. I realized what I did just as the pain registered, so like five seconds after. I keep worrying what I'll do to myself next.
It started last winter, but it was mild up until a month ago, when I suddenly was too miserable to sleep but to tired to try in school. Presently I am failing math and not in any activities because I can't bring myself to consider anything. When I attempted to tell someone, I told my sister who said I was exadurating big time. I looked up symptoms, and I fit most of them. I've lost my appetite but somehow gained weight. I loved lasagna, but now it seems devoid of flavor. I know that I need help, but I'm scared to ask. I don't know what to do and what caused this. My lack of knowing has been driving me insane, so to speak. I'm socially awkward, and my ex is worried about me. I'm 12 so I have no idea if I'm supposed to be like this or not. I find myself listening to the saddest music I can find. What do I do?
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