I've been depressed for too long, getting tired everything

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Hi. So I've been depressed for awhile now, years but I've always been a negative depressive person with stress since I was a kid. Anyways, I just feel like nothing, it's too the point where I feel like I'm always going to be alone and I've already wasted so much it my life doing nothing, I haven't accomplished anything and even if I can do something cause I can do something my mind won't let me, like a wall blocking me from doing something goo. I don't like myself, I'm not smart, I look weird as usual, I am awkward, I stress over everything and even when things are going good I feel uncomfortable like good things aren't supposed to happen to me, I'm just waiting to get screwed over as usual. I don't know what to do, suicide is hard cause I know my family will feel bad but I just don't see any point in anything . I do believe in God but I'm sure he sees me suffer. I'm just tired of everything. Supposedly this person likes me but I don't believe them I can't handle having my heart broken, I will snap, I'm sure if it and this is the only friend I have at the moment. I'm too fragile, I don't want to take medication or see a therapist, please I'd rather kill myself than take medication, no offense to anyone but I've never smoked, drank or done any drugs. Any suggestions?? Sorry this is my first time on a forum like this and I'm all over the place.

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  • Posted

    Hi GreenRose

    We note from a recent post which you have made to our forum that you may be experiencing thoughts around self-harm. If we have misinterpreted your comments then we apologies for contacting you directly. But if you are having such thoughts then please note that you are not alone in this, and there are people out there that can help.

    If you are having these suicidal thoughts then we strongly recommend you speak to someone who may be able to help. The Samaritans offer a safe space where you can talk openly about what you are going through. They can help you explore your options, understand your problems better, or just be there to listen.

    Their contact details are on our patient information leaflet here: https://patient.info/health/dealing-with-suicidal-thoughts, which also offers lots of other advice on how you can access the help you may need.

    If you are having such thoughts then please do reach out to the team at the Samaritans (or the other people detailed in our leaflet) who will understand what you're going through and will be able to help.

    Kindest regards

    Patient

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  • Posted

    hi greenrose, you obviously need help and quickly. I hope i have not got to you too late! I was told the people you fear who are going to commit suicide are those who don't speak. The people who won't explain anything are far more likely to jump than those who don't say anything. Talk on here, we do listen. When i wanted to jump in a lake last year, i left a note for my husband to say by the time you get this i'll be dead. I left the front door unlocked, forgot my coat and phone and had no keys. I didn't intend coming back, a stranger saved me. Well relative, he was my counsellor. You cling to life. Where will you be without it?

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  • Posted

    Hi this is the depression talking and are false thoughts so don't listen to them please. Why refuse medical aid if it can help you? Surely it is better to do this than kill yourself. However if you are determined to go the self help route do a bit of googling as there is lots of advice out there. For example you could try herbal supplements like St. Johns Wort, or Valerian. There are self help methods such as mindfulness, yoga, meditation etc.

    You can buy self help books and there are lots of videos on YouTube about anxiety and depression. Good luck. x

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  • Posted

    hello,

    From a fellow sufferer, I can advise you to check out the internet about suffering, I find great comfort in that actually knowing there are so many out there, when you are not alone that's great comfort. One of the most painful things sometimes is seeing how happy other people are, I recently experienced that doing some work I barely coped with yet others had been doing it years and appeared full of life - that set me back big style and I only managed one shift.

    Another piece of advice is definitely to start medication - citalopram i take 40 mg, no side effects, it's part of the answer.

    keep grinding it out and to everyone else on this channel

    Rich

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