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Hi. So I've been depressed for awhile now, years but I've always been a negative depressive person with stress since I was a kid. Anyways, I just feel like nothing, it's too the point where I feel like I'm always going to be alone and I've already wasted so much it my life doing nothing, I haven't accomplished anything and even if I can do something cause I can do something my mind won't let me, like a wall blocking me from doing something goo. I don't like myself, I'm not smart, I look weird as usual, I am awkward, I stress over everything and even when things are going good I feel uncomfortable like good things aren't supposed to happen to me, I'm just waiting to get screwed over as usual. I don't know what to do, suicide is hard cause I know my family will feel bad but I just don't see any point in anything . I do believe in God but I'm sure he sees me suffer. I'm just tired of everything. Supposedly this person likes me but I don't believe them I can't handle having my heart broken, I will snap, I'm sure if it and this is the only friend I have at the moment. I'm too fragile, I don't want to take medication or see a therapist, please I'd rather kill myself than take medication, no offense to anyone but I've never smoked, drank or done any drugs. Any suggestions?? Sorry this is my first time on a forum like this and I'm all over the place.
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