I've been diagnosed with ADD, but I'm convinced that I have something else.

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Matt2000
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Hello. New user of the site, here. First of all, thank you for taking the time to read my post and hopefully provide input.

Symptoms:

I am an eighteen-year-old male who has recently been diagnosed with ADD. For as long as I can remember, I have struggled with a mental illness that significantly effects my everyday life. It is extremely difficult to explain, but I can best describe it as a constant dream-like, almost zombified state. I used to describe it as a mental fogginess, like a feeling of staring through a fog, but at this point I feel like I'm trying to stare through a wall. I feel a complete disconnect between my "soul" and my body. The dream-like state is my primary symptom, but I have a few other notable possible symptoms as well. For starters, the one most visible to others is my social ineptitude. Other people have described me as a "non-entity", I typically get totally lost in any conversation and by the end am giving yes and no answers and smiling and nodding excessively. When I speak, I often slur and trip over my words and completely leave out or rearrange sections of sentences. I am terrible at expressing myself verbally, although I consider myself to be competent at expressing myself through text, although it takes me an excessively long time to write things (like this discussion). I am prone to losing my focus on any task, and frequently lose myself for hours, simply sitting in one place twiddling my thumbs until I realize that I have zoned out for an immense period of time. I forget to do essential tasks every day, such as bathing, shaving, brushing my teeth and even eating.

Testing:

It took me a very long time to get a doctor that took me seriously, but now that I have I have undergone a variety of tests trying to nail down what is ailing me. I EEG tested negative for epilepsy, got an MRI that showed no mental abnormalities, took an array of blood tests that came back completely normal, took a fusillade of personality tests that showed no psychiatric issues, and finally took a few cognitive function tests such as the number-connecting test and performed very poorly, prompting my diagnosis with ADD.

Medication:

I have been taking a high dose of both Strattera and Bupropion for a few months and, after learning to control the side effects by taking the pills with food, I feel absolutely nothing from taking the pills. I might as well be taking sugar pills, because the medicine has no effect. In a few weeks I will begin taking Adderall, but I don't have high hopes for the results of that given my results so far with non-stimulant ADD meds.

I have researched everything from Depersonalization Syndrome to Huntington's Disease. I simply cannot find anything on the web that matches my symptoms. One thing is for sure, though, I haven't seen testimony from anyone with ADD that describes my symptoms. I am currently struggling through college, and am starting to become concerned that even if I get my degree, I won't be able to land a career due to my tendency to zone out and not do any work. I am becoming increasingly concerned that I will not be able to financially support myself as I get older.

If you've read to this point, I'd like to thank you again for your time. Does anything I've typed here ring a bell for you? Do you think you know what could be ailing me? Do you think that I actually might have ADD?

Any input is greatly appreciated...

-Matt

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  • Matt2000
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    Posted

    I apologize for posting this here, I meant to put it in the ADHD section. Still feel free to respond if you have any input, I'll be following this post and will repost it in the correct section.

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Thanks for your help!

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