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Hello. New user of the site, here. First of all, thank you for taking the time to read my post and hopefully provide input.
I am an eighteen-year-old male who has recently been diagnosed with ADD. For as long as I can remember, I have struggled with a mental illness that significantly effects my everyday life. It is extremely difficult to explain, but I can best describe it as a constant dream-like, almost zombified state. I used to describe it as a mental fogginess, like a feeling of staring through a fog, but at this point I feel like I'm trying to stare through a wall. I feel a complete disconnect between my "soul" and my body. The dream-like state is my primary symptom, but I have a few other notable possible symptoms as well. For starters, the one most visible to others is my social ineptitude. Other people have described me as a "non-entity", I typically get totally lost in any conversation and by the end am giving yes and no answers and smiling and nodding excessively. When I speak, I often slur and trip over my words and completely leave out or rearrange sections of sentences. I am terrible at expressing myself verbally, although I consider myself to be competent at expressing myself through text, although it takes me an excessively long time to write things (like this discussion). I am prone to losing my focus on any task, and frequently lose myself for hours, simply sitting in one place twiddling my thumbs until I realize that I have zoned out for an immense period of time. I forget to do essential tasks every day, such as bathing, shaving, brushing my teeth and even eating.
It took me a very long time to get a doctor that took me seriously, but now that I have I have undergone a variety of tests trying to nail down what is ailing me. I EEG tested negative for epilepsy, got an MRI that showed no mental abnormalities, took an array of blood tests that came back completely normal, took a fusillade of personality tests that showed no psychiatric issues, and finally took a few cognitive function tests such as the number-connecting test and performed very poorly, prompting my diagnosis with ADD.
I have been taking a high dose of both Strattera and Bupropion for a few months and, after learning to control the side effects by taking the pills with food, I feel absolutely nothing from taking the pills. I might as well be taking sugar pills, because the medicine has no effect. In a few weeks I will begin taking Adderall, but I don't have high hopes for the results of that given my results so far with non-stimulant ADD meds.
I have researched everything from Depersonalization Syndrome to Huntington's Disease. I simply cannot find anything on the web that matches my symptoms. One thing is for sure, though, I haven't seen testimony from anyone with ADD that describes my symptoms. I am currently struggling through college, and am starting to become concerned that even if I get my degree, I won't be able to land a career due to my tendency to zone out and not do any work. I am becoming increasingly concerned that I will not be able to financially support myself as I get older.
If you've read to this point, I'd like to thank you again for your time. Does anything I've typed here ring a bell for you? Do you think you know what could be ailing me? Do you think that I actually might have ADD?
Any input is greatly appreciated...
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