I've been drinking everyday Monday through Sunday for almost 6 years...?
Posted , 6 users are following.
New to this and I've been back and forth looking at all these threads for months now. Let me tell you a little about myself...
I'm a two time combat (Marine) war veteran. I just turned 35 years old On Nov. 16th and been drinking too much almost everyday for the last 6 years. My daughter will be 6 yo on Dec. 29th and I remember starting drinking heavily right around the time she was born. I started with just drinking beer every night (6 to 8 beers) starting around 5pm till about 10 pm. I wake up at 4am to be at work at 5am. The weekends I would buy a 750ml bottle of Jameson and that would last me every 2 days. The beers slowly started getting less and less and found myself just drinking whisky every night. Fast forward 6 years later now I easily drink a pint of whisky and a 6 pack of ipa every night. Longest I've stopped has been about 20 days and then back in this never ending process. Symptoms I notice is my legs feel shaky and hands are a little shaky nothing crazy. I went to the doctor last month and doctor said I have high blood pressure. I did not tell her I drink that much..So taking some blood pressure medicine daily... I havent had a drink since 9pm last night and it is 1:50 pm now. I feel fine but like I said I have shaky legs and some stabbing pain in my kidney area once in a while. I guess I'm writing this to say "I give up" I'm tired and ready to move forward. I will not drink anything tonight and start this sobriety thing again. I'm just hoping it lasts longer than 20 days.... Wish me luck
2 likes, 14 replies
joseph714
Posted
A rainy Tuesday by Joseph
Depression at its finest/ When up, You still feel low/ Reaching for the bottle to make them memories go....looking into your daughter's eyes just to see your soul... what once was a feeling of hope/ is now empty from the scars and the liquor of hope/vision impaired, doctor says "Close one eye and read the letters on the bottom line" "L.O.V.E.Y.O.U.R.L.I.F...E"
"Love Your Life"/ your true colors have faded over time/ Bring back them pastel colors and enjoy a vibrant life/ Your family needs You!/ You need to hurry up before your family leaves you...
joseph714
Posted
So now its 4pm . Just arrived home from picking up my daughter from Kindergarten. .. I walk into the kitchen and a whole sink of dishes staring me right in the face. I know if I don't have these dishes done before my Wife gets home @ 6pm I'll be drinking alot more than what I want too.. I need to do my part around the house so I'm going to knock these dishes out and clean up the house.... Puts down phone reaches into the wine chiller and pops a bottle of white wine at 13% per volume.. I guess I'll try tommorow.. I for sure believed I wasn't going to need to drink today but drinking and cleaning goes hand In hand... 🥺
Robin2015 joseph714
Posted
Hi Joseph. I am in the UK and you are perhaps in the US i am guessing. It seems like medication is the best way forward to me. Google The C3 Foundation and see how many people have managed to beat this horrible addiction. Set yourself a goal i suggest. I was a house Dad looking after new born twin girls 7 years ago when i stopped. they were 2 years and 4 months old when i stopped. Had too much to live for. Best of luck from Robin.
Smile47824 joseph714
Posted
I feel like I understand where your coming from. Every morning I would say I'm not doing this again and by 5:00 if I worked and starting at 1:00 on days off I would have that bottle opened. It's not our fault but alcohol addiction is a very strong and controlling. I managed to stop cold turkey(now 2 years and 9 months sober) after going over and over of drinking 2 bottles a night and then promising myself not to do it again. It's hard and maybe you should ask for help like Robin suggested.
I wish you all the best
Robin2015 joseph714
Posted
Where are you Joseph? Update please.
joseph714 Robin2015
Posted
Orange county, CA
Robin2015 joseph714
Posted
Thanks Joseph, but that is not what i meant. What is happening? how is everything going for you? Any improvement for you?
Smile47824 joseph714
Posted
Hey there! How are things? Good or bad let us know please. We are not here to judge you in anyway and I would like to know how you are.
joseph714
Posted
Not much to say but I'm still drinking. It's harder to quit with the holiday season. I feel like with the new year it gives me some hope to just go cold turkey on New years... Man this is hard! Every morning I'll tell myself I'm not going to drink today but after a long day of work the first thing I want to do when I get home is crack open a beer.... the only difference between them and I is I want to do this everyday!
l71207 joseph714
Posted
Dude, I totally feel you about the holidays. So much stress and it's supposed to be a time of joy and family and all I would want most of the time is a drink. Things can change and you can change. I used to drink 20+ shots of vodka a day. Starting when I woke up, continued at work and at night to sleep. I now follow the Sinclair Method and take Naltrexone and it changed my life. I just turned forty and have a 1.5 yr old son and another on the way and life is banging. This method just turned my life around about 2 years ago so you see it can help. I was drinking pretty much everyday for over 15 years. Sorry to ramble. The medication is hella cheap here in the states and you can find hella doctors to prescribe if you don't want your general practitioner to know. Good luck and keep us posted. If you have questions hit me up.
Robin2015 l71207
Posted
What a strong statement and proof that medication can work. A great success and much improved lifestyle😄Robin
Joanna-SMUKLtd l71207
Posted
Thank you so much for being another voice giving your own personal experience of why medication-assisted treatment can be so useful.
It's always great to read of others who have used it as a tool to help them change their lives so much for the better.
Well done!
joseph714
Posted
Thank you all for the support and information. I'm going to sit down tonight and read up on this Sinclair Method? I don't want to waste anyones time but just an update I am still drinking. A little less than a pint of Jameson and a couple IPAs at night. I dont drink during the day unless it's the weekend. I'm going to bring in 2020 with a fresh start and fresh mind. I believe I can kick this and I will. I'm too young and too strong to let this run the rest of my life! I will give an update soon but again I appreciate everyone that has reached out. Let me do some research and draw up a plan and make some goals for myself. Like I said 2020 will be a memorable year.....
Needtoquit joseph714
Posted
Hi Joseph714, hope you are doing OK? Take each day at a time and don't beat yourself up in the meantime. It took me six months to talk the demons in my head into this. I decided to do it at the start of the new year as it seemed like a good time to stop. This is possible and it does sound as if the meds would help in your situation.
Maybe we can buddy up as I am now 3 days sober and counting, so we are at the same crossroad in our lives. I have opted to go cold as I have no cut off once I have a drink so not sure the SM would work for me but keeping that in mind if I should need it.
This forum is very supportive which can help, even if it's only used for a check in from time to time. As two time veteran you are stronger than most people - just know that and maybe it can provide a source of solace in what might be one of the toughest fights of your life. Sending much love and please let us know how you are getting on when you feel the time is right. Lxx