I’ve been in complete distress since I’ve found out yesterday, I’ve been with my bf for 6 months now

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Hi everyone, came across this website searching and hoping to find someone out there I could talk to. Or just read other stories to gain some insight. I just found out I had GH yesterday. I haven’t stopped crying, ive gotten no sleep, and have no appetite. This feels like a bad dream, like something I would’ve never thought would happen to me. But here I am. The worst part is I’ve been with my boyfriend for 6 months now. We’re completely in love, he’s my best friend, and we’re loyal to each other. I am almost positive I contracted this sickness before him. I haven’t told him yet, I’m thinking about not telling him and just keep my breakouts under control and stay on top of it. But another half of me feels like I have to tell him, I can’t live with this secret and act like everything’s ok. But he is a super clean person, I feel he would just look at me differently, with disgust. I’m trying to put myself in his shoes, I would be devistated. I’m so afraid to lose him. We talk about marriage, kids, buying a house together...and now this. I’m so scared, I don’t know how I’m going to deal with this for the rest of my life. Can anyone, someone, please give me some feed back. I’m feeling so hopeless. At this point it’s hard to go on.. 

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12 Replies

  • Posted

    So are you sure you got GH before you know him?

    Are you sure about diagnosis?

    Did you have OB in last 6 months ?

    If so, so you are living in that struggle for 6 months now! To tell or not to tell

    • Posted

      I’m pretty sure I got it before him. He hasn’t been with many people. But I guess I have no way of knowing. I had my first outbreak a week ago. At first I thought it was just a scratch so I wanted to get antibiotics for it. That’s when she did the swan test and told me it was hsv2. I never experienced an outbreak before, I also had little to no symptoms. So it came to me as a shock and it still doesn’t feel real. Can you tell me about your story and having to tell a significant other? 
  • Posted

    I just found out I have them too.... and just now feeling relief from the outbreak. 

    My husband has them too, and knew that no matter how “careful” you can be, it was just a matter of time.

    He had a very hard time telling me, but I am thankful that he did. We read and researched so much on this and realize that... we weren’t alone, and it wasn’t the end of the world. We aren’t going to die from this...we just adjust to a new way of carrying on...

    Talk to him about it... research together... (that was the best that we did)...

    Now, after 3 years together... I find out that I am infected too... and as ugly and embarrassed as I feel... I know we will be okay. 

    This outbreak wasn’t fun at all, but did all I could to make sure I was helping my situation. For example: warm Epson salt baths...were a lifesaver....the olive oil on my sores...helped too. Drank plenty of water...slept as long as I could... took low dose aspirin and started on a Lysine supplement...

    I’m finally able to... wear underwear too!! Lol

    You will be okay, don’t stress (you’ll make matters worse)...Take this off your chest... be honest... he will be grateful that you did! ❤️

    • Posted

      Hiii

      Let me ask you 

      So you know your husband had it long time ago

      Did you try some precautions before to prevent him infecting you?

      Did it work at first then failed?

    • Posted

      Thank you for your response mir0430. Did you get GH from your husband? We’re you guys already married before you found out? Also how long does your outbreaks last? I found out I was positive because I went to the doctors for something I thought was a scratch, she ran a test and turns out it’s hsv2. I never experience and OB before, and my symptoms were little to none. I’m afraid if he doesn’t have it, and I tell him, he’ll just leave me because he won’t want to deal with it. I’ve done research and of course you can live with it and it’s manageable but the stigma surrounding it I think would just make things worse. I just don’t feel ready yet... do you think he’ll hate me if I don’t tell him and he ends up finding out? Possibly worse, catching it? I just don’t know what to do. 
    • Posted

      Hi. My husband wasn’t sure how long he had it, but displayed his first symptoms before he met me.

      He told me before we got intimate so that I could make a decision on my own... it took about a month of researching and a lot of prayer. I knew we were meant to be, and as a couple decided that we would take matters and responsibility as a couple. 

      We both knew that no matter how careful we would be, I would get them anyway...condons aren’t gonna save you forever... 

      We are good, he’s very supportive... especially after my first outbreak last week... ❤️

    • Posted

      My husband shared this with me before we got married, and before we got intimate... luckily, he knew he was a carrier and gave me the opportunity to decide if I wanted to continue the relationship. It was hard, since I knew I had finally met the man of my dreams, and I loved him.... 

      we did a good 3-4 weeks of researching and we decided that we would take as many percautions as we could... 

      After 3 years together, I got my first outbreak... He was so supportive, even made my Epson Salt baths (which help dramatically)... 

      when you are in a good relationship, your partner should be able to listen to you without judgement. You could have easily contracted them from him... 

      Some people don’t get symptoms at all!

      If he’s not understanding, and walks away.... then, do you really need him in your life? 

      If anything worse happens, you couldn’t trust that he’d be with you supporting you through greater issues. 

      This is a lot to handle emotionally, I know... just don’t prolong something for the sake of holding on to someone. 

      You’ll be surprised, if his feelings are just as strong, he will stick around! 

      Sending love, and strength!

    • Posted

      You are great dealing with it. 

      But it was 3 years!!

      So did you keep using condom for 3 yrs??

      In your opinion why you kept safe 3 yrs then a breakout came?

      You stopped condom before your OB?

  • Posted

    I was just diagnosed yesterday and I am waiting to hear which type (HSV 1 or 2) but I was told yesterday after not having sex for well over a year chances are I caught it from the person I slept with 3 days ago.  It happens that quick!  He had no symptoms, nothing showing AND we used a condom.  My doctor said he’s probably lucky (and I use that term loosely) and he’s a carrier and doesn’t display symptoms.  I have sheer bad luck but it is entirely possible that you caught it from him and he’s just a carrier.
    • Posted

      Thank you for your input kp07. How bad were your symptoms? Is that what lead you to the doctors in the first place? I just don’t feel ready to talk to him about it. It still doesn’t feel real to me. Things are going so well right now between us. I know I’m being selfish and it’s not right o hide this huge secret but I also feel like no one needs to know. This is one of those “never thought it would happen to me” things. It’s only been 3 days since I’ve found out. I guess I’m coping in the only way I know how. But it’s killing me inside. I’m constantly stressed, worried, paranoid, and sad..disgusted. I don’t feel like myself. I don’t know what to do.
    • Posted

      I feel the exact same.  I don’t plan on telling him until I for sure have answers which won’t be until middle to late this week.  Then I’ll figure it out from there.

      I only had two bumps on my labia that felt like an ingrown hair but was a bit more painful.  When I got to my doctor the next morning she noticed it all around my anus which I’ve never ever done anything anal wise ever!  

      I’m on day 5 of my first outbreak and I think day 4 was the absolute worst for me!  I couldn’t even walk, I screamed and cried the entire day and the only thing that made it somewhat better was sitting in an Epsom salt bath.  But the second I came out of the bath I was back to being in pain again.  Today I woke up with a sore throat and white at the back.  I’ve called my doctor and I’m going in tomorrow to find out wtf is going on because I’m on suppressants and my understanding is I shouldn’t be having anymore.  All my blisters popped and I’m waiting for them to scab over to which some have.  But my butt area is really in pain.  Today I also have a very itchy body and the back of my legs burn badly like a sunburn.

  • Posted

    I know exactly how you feel. Same story here. I had been with my boyfriend for 7 months when I had my first breakout. It was severe, as they say is likely when newly infected. I believe he is just a carrier & didn’t know he had it. My breakouts were like clockwork every single month.  Anyway, I buried myself in research for natural treatments and decided to try zinc, spirulina & chlorella, and red marine algae. That was 4 months ago and I haven’t had a breakout since. I’m not sure which vitamin is preventing the breakouts, more than likely it’s the red marine algae, but I’m afraid to stop taking any of them.  I hope this helps! Please let me know if you try it whether it helped or not. Good luck!

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