I've been mentally depressed, stuck in life and don't know how to proceed in life?

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So a little bit of a background of myself. I am 25 years old and I think I am severly depressed. I was a happy kid with no life problem, no debts, and smart kid being enrolled in prestigious university. However, at 20 years old, when I was in college, my parents got divorced. As much as I always faking it to be okay, but deep down I am crushed. From then on my life went down the hill at 1000 miles/ hr. I started drinking alcohol untill I got really wasted, p*ssed my best friends off due to my lunatic behavior when drunk, kicked out of the club trying to pick a fight with rich guy in the club. Then things really went down as since my parents divorced, my dad lost hope in life and his business was in a brink of bankruptcy so he did not have money to support my education anymore. I started taking $10,000 debts from friends and family and $49,000 loan from university to finish my university degree but I just did not know what I was doing (feeling lost and do not belong in a certain way) and failed majority of my class which I then proceed to drop out of the school with only 1 semester left before graduation in hope I can do my own internet business. So I was in debt of $50,000 and that money went down the drain because it was supposed to get me a degree but I failed myself and quit.

At this point, my motivation level was still pretty high because I wanted to try to do business. But then again I failed at every attempt in internet marketing business, I just feel doomed in life like no matter what and how I tried, I always failed. Then I realized that maybe business is not my area of expertise so I tried to play online poker because I feel I'm pretty good at it but again, I blew around $2500 (from the money I borrowed for my business). 

Right now, I don't have any motivation in life. My friends despise me, my family think I am a failure. I sold my laptop, I sold my watches, I sold everything to keep me alive. I hate meeting people now, even my best friend. I hate talking to people and I hate interacting with people. So doing business is no more interesting for me because I really hate to go back and forth to satisfy the customer. I want to play online poker because I don't have to interact with anyone and I know the money is good, but then I was crushed in the game. Now I am stuck, I don't know what to do in life and started to read how people decided to suicide and is it worth it. I tried to do the bipolar testing and my result is acute bipolar I disorder. I can't go to psychiatrist, I have $0 in my bank account and over $50,000 in debts, have no degree, no business and nothing. I am living with my grandparents on budget. I still can eat and sleep because I live with them, but I am a huge failure. I lost 80% of my friends because I can't pay their debts and always run away when they chase me. I am timid, don't know how to handle all this situation. 

I was bright young man, but now I just like to die. Please anyone, can you help or give me suggestion how to approach this problem?

1 like, 4 replies

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4 Replies

  • Posted

    Can yu go back to college or go to the student counsellors there? How about going to AA? In the UK you could go to your doctor ie physician but I realise that you would have to pay for that.
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  • Posted

    Hi Rick, my names Amy, i'm 22. I'm sharing this with you because I just want you to know that there IS hope out there. It may not seem like it right now, but there is. 

    I was depressed for 5 years and attempted suicide twice. I won't go too in depth about why I was depressed but lets just say there were countless amount of reasons. So.....Counselling did not help, anti depressants did not help and I pushed myself so far away from any support and love given to me, I felt isolated, alone and worthless. I struggled with my sexuality, with my identity and had crazy anxieties and fears. Nothing seemed to help... I closed myself off from the world and turned to drugs and alcohol because that was the only thing that helped ease my heart and my mind. 

    This is until my life dramatically changed 6 months ago... Now i'm on a mission to help you overcome it!! (Because, yea, it can be beat!!!!) Please check out the songs I have wrote and sung on youtube:

    Amy Nichols - Turn Around

    Amy Nichols - Open Her Eyes

    I hope these will help you, because I'm singing from personal experience! 

    If you want to know HOW I went from being depressed to being happy so that it can happen to you, please subscribe to my youtube channel (Amy Nichols) I'll be posting a video very soon!!! (....currently in the making) 

    Sharing my love and hope with you. Xxxo Amy

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  • Posted

    Where does your mum fall into this?

    The positives you can take form this; you're 25, you've found out what you DONT want to do, now you can find what you do.

    Just because things havent gone right for you in the last few years doesnt mean they cant drastically turn around.

    Friends, if you are honest with them, will stand by you and if they do not then you've not lost anything there. Family only want the best for you. They are not disapointed in you, they are disapointed in the situation - which can be changed.

    How long did you try in the internet marketing business, because I own one of those and my guess is that you quit before it took off. 

    You are still a bright man, a situation does not take away your intelligence and it does not have to take away your work ethic, motivation or opportunity to suceed.

    Everything happens for a reason and if you have faith in yourself and in things turning out ok, you will see that your path is not a bad one just because it is not the one you expected.

    Quote "Money didn't make me, being broke did"

    Get a copy of persuit of happiness, look up mateusz m on youtube and get your bright brain in gear. I am confident you'll turn this round. 


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