I’ve come out of a long relationship and I’m lost I don’t know what to do

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So I was with my girlfriend for 2 years And I’m the type of guy to give it everything I have once I know I’ve found the right one so I would give her all of my love and make sure I’m the best I can be. I know 2 years isn’t that long for a relationship but to me she was my life she was all I had and I really did love her. So anyway this is how she ended it with me; the night before she ended it everything was fine normal texting saying we loved each other before bed over the phone etc. I then woke up in the morning to see her send me a text saying she doesn’t want to be with me no more and to please leave her alone. Yes we did argue now and again but it was cos I cared so much I didn’t want to lose her. I was scared to lose her. Anyway she said that and ignores my texts declines my calls and has left me in a hole I can’t get out of I feel my whole life falling apart I really can’t be without her she made my depression non existent and now she’s left me all of it has come back over night I can’t leave my bed I can’t eat i just don’t want to feel like this I want her back so much and I know my depression will get so much worse the longer I don’t see her for I just need someone to talk to please someone respond. It will mean the world to me.

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  • Posted

    Hey don’t beat yourself... this time u should take care yourself take this time to look after yourself...she also need time for herself I think she feel drowned with a lots love u give her..let her be and alone..if u love somebody u want them to be happy...but first u love yourself ok🌹

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    • Posted

      I find it impossible to look after myself though I just can’t function knowing she’s happier without me she doesn’t even seem to care we split and it’s only affected me and no one else I tell myself on the night I’m gunna get up and do something tomorrow and Tomorrow comes and I find I’m glued to the bed every time I get out I feel panicky like the bed is my safe place and that’s what gunna make me feel better when I know that’s not true I just can’t help it I’m lost and I need to find the right path I can’t take the pain I’m feeling it’s slowly killing me.
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    • Posted

      But I love her I can’t help but want her back no matter what I’ve planned On meeting her today if she shows she shows if she doesn’t at least I’ve tried she says she’ll still be there for me even tho she hasn’t been so this will show how serious she is.
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  • Posted

    I'm so sorry you're going through this. During your argument, did she give you any real reason for why she's breaking up with you? I was recently broken up with too, just two days ago actually. I know it's so hard, but if you surround yourself with people you love, family, friends, etc, you'll find that it's a great distraction and eventually evolves into a routine. Please don't stay in bed all alone, reach out to your closest friend or family member, it'll really help you out. If you don't feel comfortable being too open with your friends or family, then feel free to message me anytime. I know sometimes talking to a stranger is easier than talking to someone you know. 

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    • Posted

      I feel the reason she split with me was because lately she’s been partying a lot . She would make an excuse not to see me for a while to go out and party and she is the type to be very influenced around who she is and I think maybe her mates have the don’t care sort of vibe and it’s made her turn that way. I also think she loves the attention of other boys and she was kind of being with me just cos she knew I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if she broke but I guess now she doesn’t care. I am so lost I have no idea what to do from here every time I think to try message someone else she pops and and there would be no one I would want to start a close relationship with again except her. She was everything I was looking for and in my eyes there’s no girl like her I bought some 5-htp to try block the pain thanks for this I can tell you how the 5-htp works if you like?
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  • Posted

    “Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.” 
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  • Posted

    Hello Declan. I am so sorry that you are suffering like you are. Do you think that she was giving you little clues for a little while like going out with friends and not inviting you. How did you know that she was enjoying other boys attention? Did she tell you? I wonder if it might not be good for you to make an appointment with your GP and let them know what's going on. Maybe they can recommend something. Would you be open to that?

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    • Posted

      I remember a boy messaging her once. Of course she didn’t know that she thought it was a family member or someone and she told me to read out what it said cos I could reach it as soon as I said the boys name she seemed nervous I know she would never of actually cheated like physical contact but I know when things weren’t great cos I was sometimes down about things I guess she kind of got sick of having to pick me back up and decided to message other people now and again. I know I look so stupid wanting her back after she’s hurt me like she has and she doesn’t even want to be there’s for after all the times I’ve tried reaching out to her to help me make the situation less stressful and hard but it seems she’s moved on the same day she broke up with me I’ve ordered some 5-htp tablets they’re supposed to help lift your spirit I’ll let you know how they work thanks for replying I means so much you don’t understand 
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  • Posted

    Hi I am not criticising but observing but I wonder if she felt suffocated by your attention and found she couldn't cope being the sole person to help you with your depression.  I also wonder if you felt she needed your protection to stop her going off the rails or something and she picked up this and resented it?  

    It does sound to me like she wasn't really to settle down so maybe you wanted different things too.  x. 

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    • Posted

      My depression didn’t really exist when I was with her she took my mind off everything i would only feel down once every couple months and she would help me. I’ve been trying to get answers off her since she broke up with me and she refuses to. My friends who I have spoken to who are also girls have told me that maybe she cheated on me and instead of being able to tell me she’s just running away from it so she doesn’t have to explain herself idk that’s just a suggestion. Im gunna stop messaging her and cut all contact i know she still cares about me she just puts up a tough shell maybe one day we can work things out and get back together until then I just need to get past how I’m feeling manage the depression and hopefully live a happy life. I check this website so much through the day and my face lights up when i get a reply thanks to you and everyone who has given me much needed words It has definitely helped take the pressure off.
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  • Posted

    Hi, going off what you have wrote it sounds as if you have made both her and your relationship the bee all and end all concerning your mental health. You aren't the first person to do this and you won't be the last, but like all the others you need to discover something in yourself that can make you feel happy. It must be in you if you can find it in someone/something else so it isn't impossible. It will take time but you will get there. Putting the responsibility onto someone else is unfair and as you have now discovered will only push them away. Heartbreak is an awful thing but sometimes s****y things happen to push you in a positive direction. I wish u all the best

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    • Posted

      I’m just gunna miss her like crazy even the little things like waking up to see she’s sent me a text just really gunna miss her. No better feeling knowing someone loves you and For me I’ve gone through thinking she loves me to her hating me over night, even to the point she wants nothing to do with me i just can’t wrap my head around everything I just want her to want me again. 
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    • Posted

      Everyone wants to be wanted, especially when suffering from depression, so dealing with a break up at the same time can be horrendous, i wont lie. But it does have its plus points at the end. It brings out your independent side, which not only will have a more positive effect on your own opinion of yourself but will also have a positive influence on any future admirers, maybe even your ex. Although to be honest if she cant do the decent and respectful thing of explaining herself she doesn't sound like too big a loss, and maybe, just maybe, fighting your depression on your own may just bring the opportunity to come across someone that is better suited for you. It will hurt and it will be hard as hell. But you will get past it. I promise you, from someone that was in your shoes (and who didnt believe the same advice I've given you was possible) you will eventually get past it.

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