Posted , 5 users are following.
Long story short, I've been in a hole ever since my mother passed away from cancer 8 years ago. I held her hand until it happened and the second I saw life leave her eyes, my own life felt like it ended. I could never go back to how I was and who I was. At the time I was 14 and I had given up on trying at school as well. The teachers had sympathy for me but everything changed when I started highschool. Teachers had normal expectations of me but I hadn't made any improvements. I was still depressed. So I only managed to pull through 2 years of highschool after which I dropped out. I didn't make any friends there and so I was alone. My relatives (mom's side) put the blame on my father for what had happened to my mom and so there was no support from there either. After spending 2 years inside the house, doing absolutely nothing besides sleeping, self-harm and playing computer games, my father had decided we needed to move and so we moved to another country. Things haven't changed, if anything everything got worse from there. My father made some bad decisions and so we started losing money. A few months later I tried ending my own life. I failed. A year later I lost my one and only comfort that was my PC. It broke and we were too poor to get it repaired. Months later we lost our apartment which forced us to move in with my uncle, on my dad's side. We were strangers living in the same house. He was a terrible person, and so I could not seek help from him either. Months after living in a tiny bedroom my dad took out a loan and we managed to rent our own apartment but without furniture. I am still considering suicide. I am still all alone. I am still unable to adapt to this new country I live in. I still don't know the language. I still have no friends or family I could get in touch with for help. I cannot afford special treatment. We are still poor and I am only falling further down. I've started losing myself and I have nowhere to turn. I've lost my will to live.
1 like, 5 replies