I've had obliterative surgery,is there anyone who can help me to come to terms with this.

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I had obliterative surgery a few years ago and I'm finding it very hard coming to terms with it,is there anyone out there with the same problem,Doctors have told me to join a support group,there aren't any.

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  • Posted

    Hi, what exactly did u have done? Ive just had anterior and posterior repair, is that anything like yours 🙂

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    • Posted

      I had a full hysterectomy,then I had a prolapse bladder and bowel,the doctor,despite me seeing him over a two year period failed to see anything wrong,didn't once check to see what was wrong,so it led up to me having extensive surgery,leaving me unable to have intercourse.

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    • Posted

      Oh Shirley i really feel so sad about your situation. I do hope one of the ladies will come on to help you.

      I pray you feel more at peace with things soon. I have had a couple of surgeries and it's damm hard to recover from. Bless you my friendx

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    • Posted

      Ahh thank you for being so kind,my support worker said that she would try and help me,if my GP had recognised that something was drastically wrong sooner ,the surgery would not have been so drastic,I had three operations in three weeks,because I suffered from depression my doctor said it was all in my head,I had to take my care worker with me to see the GPS,only then he referred me,the consultant was disgusted,what I would like to do to that Doctor,and to think he's a teaching doctor,makes it even worse.

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    • Posted

      Shirley, did they actually sew up the opening? Or just removed all your uterus,ovaries and tubes? I really don't mean to come across nosey hun,I'm here to listen and advice💕💕💕💕

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    • Posted

      I had a full hysterectomy when I was 34,they failed to tell me that bladder and bowel prolapse are common in women who have this done at a young age. The prolapse was so bad that they had to remove a large amount of my bladder and bowel,this should have been stitched to the back wall. After the first opp I was in so much pain and bleeding heavily and clots were forming,I then had to be operated on to save my life,to make things more comfortable they had to unstitch it from that back wall,because I wasn't recovering as I should have ,I was taken down for a third time and after was told that because of the extent of the operation I would no longer be able to have intercourse,and that they won't be able to operate on me again only to find out weeks later I needed to go in again,more surgery and that has left me still with problems.

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    • Posted

      Sorry you asked the question,did they see up the opening,there was a very small opening,I went in once again for day surgery to make the opening bigger,but would not be able to have intercourse because I don't have the cavity. I would just like to say,It's not the surgeons falt,he did absolutely everything he possibly could and was genuinely sorry,it was the G.P who didn't even bother checking me.

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    • Posted

      Oh Shirley it's terrible.. Have you made a formal complaint for the gp lack of due care and attention.he should be sued to high heaven.You poor poor thing,how dare he continue to look after people😢😢 in so sa d for you.. Don't know what to say,I'm speechless.xx

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    • Posted

      Oh thats terrible, sounds like you have been through alot, im only 2 weeks post so im not sure how mine will turn out yet, but ive only had half the surgery you have had, can he try to fix to make it better?
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    • Posted

      Hi, no I'm afraid not, I had 3 operations in the three weeks that I was in hospital and when I went back for my check up I had to go in again for day surgery,the consultant that did all the operations said that he could not operate on me anymore.

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  • Posted

    Do you mean a full hyster with everything taken out??
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    • Posted

      Yes I had that done,then I had a prolapse bladder and bowel witch the g.p failed to diagnose for two years,it resulted in having major surgery and unable to have intercourse.
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  • Posted

    I’m guessing you had colpoclesis surgery. Did you know the extent of the surgery before you had it done, and exactly what it would mean for your sex life? If you did, you must have thought it was worthwhile to have it done. Is it penetrative sex that you miss? There are lots more ways to have an enjoyable sex life though, you can still climax and have oral sex. If you are with a partner, there are many other ways to keep them happy. Try not to mourn what you have lost, and concentrate more on what is the new you.
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    • Posted

      I lost my husband five years ago and and feel like I couldn't get into a relationship because of how I've been left after the operation,I don't want to get close to someone,I know that you can have a relationship without intercourse,while my husband was alive it didn't matter,but I certainly don't want to explain myself to anyone.

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    • Posted

      You won't have to explain anything until you get close to someone new. You didn't say how old you are, but they normally don't do this surgery on younger women, for obvious reasons.

      I'm sure you could be inventive enough to keep a new partner happy. The surgery I had left me unable to have penetrative sex, not the same as yours, but I tear very easily.

      Youve had a medical condition repaired, I hope it has worked for you. If it has then it was surely worth it.

      Im sorry about your husband, but glad for you that you feel ready to move on.

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    • Posted

      It's not that I'm ready to move on,the whole idea of it frightens me,I was 54 when I had this done,and feel that I will never be able to move on,I was advised by a care worker to join a support group,but as yet I haven't found any,thought perhaps if I came on this site it might be of some help.

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