I’ve had sleep paralysis my whole life. But this is different.

I’ve been having sleep paralysis for a long time. It started when I was 13 or so. At first, I had all the “normal” hallucinations. Being pinned down, not being able to move, dark presence, static noises. Then, it stopped for awhile and in my 20s it started again but this time it was like being dragged out of bed, voices (not as common, but still part of sleep paralysis hallucinations). It happened very often. At least once a week for a whole year. So, I started reading about it and learned how to control it with the wiggling of the toe, and just staying calm. I would normally just go into lucid dreaming after that. Then, it stopped for a good while again, but just recently I’ve been having them again. But this time, it’s kinda different and it’s really freaking me out. The first time it came back it started with footsteps. I have a 5 year old so I was 100% sure it was her at first. I felt this childlike (still thinking it’s my daughter) thing climb on my back (just like a child would when they’re trying to get in bed with their parents) but then stopped on my back. Just sitting there. No pressure or anything. I was sleeping on my stomach so I reach back with my arms behind my back, and at that moment I felt hands chocking me and that’s when the suffocating feeling and paralysis starts. I was so caught off guard so I panicked. I started praying and it was just not working. I couldn’t even remember the prayer. Finally, I calm myself down enough to remember the words and it finally let’s go of my neck. As I’m blinking awake I could see this demonic face (kind of like those optical illusion tricks) every time I blinked for a few seconds until it finally goes away. It terrified me because I’ve never had anything like that happen to me. And I’ve had plenty of sleep paralysis episodes in my life. Tonight it happened again. Started with noise of paper crumbling and then I knew it was coming. I started wiggling my toes. And I could feel them wiggle (or so I thought). But couldn’t snap out of it. I also turned on my back (or so I thought). And I didn’t see anything but I just couldn’t breathe. I was suffocating. I started to pray for what it seemed like forever and it finally let go. I wake up. I kind of brushed it off. I turn on my stomach. And as I started falling back asleep, I feel this childlike thing get on my back and lay down on top of me, with no pressure or force. I could feel the warmth of its body (again thinking it’s my daughter). And then I hear my daughter cough from the other side of the room (we sleep in the same room in different beds). I just layed there really still and really calm just waiting for something to happen. But nothing did. I felt the warmth and weight of a child on my back for a little bit and then it just went away and I was wide awake.

I would really like to know your opinion. Like I said, I’m no stranger to sleep paralysis, but it almost seems like my sleep paralysis is finding new and unique ways to make my already proven methods useless. And the whole thing of me thinking it’s my daughter... it almost seems evil (I know it’s silly but come on!). I really hope you respond. Thank you for taking the time to read me out.

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