I've just had my 1st outbreak and I'm so confused! Please help!!

Posted , 6 users are following.

Hi I'm a 26 year old female and have been with my partner for 10 years, we've got 2 children and recently got married. I have just had my first outbreak of genital hepes and am waiting for the results of swabs and bloods! He is the only person I have ever had sex with which is why I'm feeling so down and depressed. He has been with other women in the past and I 100% believe that he hasn't cheated on me as his reaction when I told him I had it said it all. We've got such a good relationship and are really trying to stay positive but I'm finding it really hard as; 1 I'm in a lot of pain and feel absolutely gutted this has happened to me; 2 worried that my husband will have doubts that I've cheated on him....it's just so unfair because only I know that I've been faithful and it's horrible to cause some1 doubts. I know it's just bad luck that I've got it but don't know how ill ever get through it! The future seems so different now to the perfect little life that I looked forward to before!! I just wonder if there's anyone else out there in a similar situation as the 1s I've been reading seem to have been in relationships for shorter periods of time. Please help!! 

0 likes, 5 replies

5 Replies

  • Posted

    It's possible, but not super common, to contract genital herpes from oral sex. The incubation period is up to about two weeks (could be as short as a day or two). So in theory, if your husband gave you oral sex within that time frame, he could have given it to you then. He could have had the virus for any amount of time, and gotten it from kissing or sharing a utensil with someone, including a child, friend, or family member, who has the virus... It is very contagious.

    A blood test can determine if you (and/or your husband) have hsv-1 (which typically produces cold sores) or hsv-2 (which is typically only passed via genital to genital contact). That could help put some puzzle pieces together.

    • Posted

      Thanks for ur reply wen I go back for results my husband will have his bloods done. 
  • Posted

    Hi first of chill you'll deal with it you will be stronger at the other side.it can be controlled .get some origano oil it'll minimise the discomfort stings like hell for 5-10 but it'll help a lot .the relationship stuff you'll just need to work thru it.all the best
  • Posted

    Hello Em,

                   I was/am in a similar situation to you, I have been with my partner for 11 years now, contracted HSV-2 genitally around 6 years into the relationship I was faithful at that time, it just came out of the blue from nowhere, I would like to think my partner was faithful too but you can never be 100% sure, I too was freaking out thinking he was going to think I had been with somebody else to get this, when I told him what was happening to me and I thought what it was he never even asked me if I had cheated, to be honest he didn't seem that phased which I found odd, if the shoe was on the other foot I would have been asking questions.

    I asked him to come with me for the test and results which he did, the doctor told us it was most likely him that had the HSV-2 but was asymptomatic (not showing any symptoms) and he had passed it on to me, or I had it laying dormant in my body from a previous sexual partner for a long ass time. Either way I had it and there was no going back I suffered terrible back to back outbreaks it was awful, I locked myself in the house for a long time I had a hard time coping with it and the possibility that he had cheated and given me this and he wasn't suffering at all, I didn't know whether I was coming or going, but now 5 years later I'm over it all, I think it could have possibly been passed on via oral sex, HSV-2 typically favours the genitals and frequents there once caught but can be present orally and is less frequent there, now we have both had cold sores on our mouths but I have only had maybe one or two since we have been together, he is also the same very rarely has he had a cold sore on his mouth so it leads me to believe (or I would like to believe lol) that htis is how I ended up with it. 

    He has been exposed to the blisters (by accident I didn't know I was having an outbreak until after sex) before and we have had mostly unprotected sex for most of the relationship, we also have two children,one was prior to HSV-2 and one after the HSV-2, and he still has no symptoms, so its really no big deal now, hes not bothered by it and I don't have many outbreaks anymore so it rarely bothers me too, so you can go on with your relationship as normal nothing much has changed apart from an annoying skin disorder in an awkward place.

    Sorry for the essay I just wanted you to know your certainly not alone and things can remain the same for you guys, your life can and will still be as perfect as you imagined, I know its hard but try and put it to the back of your mind, another sufferer on this forum advised people to eat a healthy size of fresh pineapple everyday and it will stop outbreaks happening, I can honestly say its worked wonders for me, I notice if I skip a day I start getting an outbreak so I never miss a day of eating it now hope this helps you out anyways.

    Mandy smile

  • Posted

    I'm so sorry you are going through this. I can TOTALLY relate. I was married for 8 years and faithful to my ex-husband when I had my first outbreak and like you I was DEVASTATED. Long story short, I suffered through the outbreaks initially until one day my P.A. told me about Acyclovir and Valcyclovir. I took one 500 mg. tablet of Acyclovir then switched to Valcyclovir daily for years and have just recently stopped. I've not gotten an outbreak. Hang in there, try not to stress out as stress will bring them on. Use a clean towel with each shower so you don't transmit them to your mouth or eyes. Apply baby powder to them to help them dry out. You can also try soaking in baking soda to help them dry out. In my experience, any kind of topical ointment only made them worse. Good luck to you!

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