I’ve lost any interest in being alive.

Posted , 4 users are following.

I’ve suffered with depression for years now but lately it’s been worse than it’s ever been. I’m 19, I lived with my mom then I met my boyfriend and eventually we moved in together. He treats me like s**t (I think or maybe I just think he does. I always assume the worst)  and at first it bothered me but now I just kind of accept it for what it is. I have no option to go home and I have nowhere else to go. I know he loves me but he has issues himself so I don’t know if we’re meant to be together. I’m sensitive and he’s mean and it’s not a good combination. My sister and I had a falling out recently and my mom asked me to leave the house last time I went there and kinda said don’t come back. I have nobody and nothing to look forward to in life. I’m paranoid, I overthink and I’ve really just lost all will I’ve had to live. I wouldn’t hurt myself but I hope everyday some freak accident happens and just ends it all. I cry everyday and I’m miserable. It’s not getting better it just gets worse everyday. I don’t know what to do, therapy doesn’t help and I don’t want to be loaded up on drugs. I just want to die and I don’t know how to get out of this mindset 

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  • Posted

    Please go to the doctors and at least talk, if you don’t want meds they mate refer you to a councillor. You must remember you are worth so much more than feeling like this. It’s your depression making you feel worse. Try and think that you are advising someone who is feeling like you..... I’m sure you wouldn’t tell them to give up. There’s so many opportunities that await you my darling and don’t stay because you have no where else to go, take that step and walk away from this awful nightmare and turn it around because when you come out stronger than ever you will be a much happier person. You deserve a man that would walk in hot coals for you but only you can change this. I’m sure your mum would not shut the door in your Face If she knows how sad and low your feeling.  Massive hugs to you xx
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  • Posted

    Oh lilly, my heart goes out to you sweetheart. It's sounds like you are dealing with a lot right now. I can you are bright enough to understand what is happening. You know what the problems are. Now you have to find the solutions. Problem no. 1: your are feeling suicidal. Solution : see the doctor. Problem 2: you can't deal with your boyfriend's issues. Solution : maybe, have a break from each other as he cannot support you right now. If you do that, it it's meant to be, you could get back together. Problem 3 : you've fallen out with you mom and sister. Solution:go to your mom, reach out to her, talk to her if you can. Things are said in the heat of the moment. Pay them no heed. First port of call, see the doctor. You won't be loaded on tablets but taking medication to help you is the difference between feeling depressed or better. Please keep in touch. Hope you feel better soon, Donna xxx

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  • Posted

    Hi you are very young still and my heart goes out to you.  Please do not accept this behaviour by your bf as it is not normal.  If he  truly loved you he wouldn't be mean to you.  I can't see you making much headway in your feelings as long as you stay in such a toxic relationship.

    My advice is get your head sorted out and get yourself out of there asap.  x

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  • Posted

    Hi Lilly - sorry to read you are suffering in this way. It seems impossible, as if you're trapped, sacred to walk outside because you depend on what you are used to, the routine, numb to it almost. You weren't at first. That was the red flag. This man "has issues himself" and instead of dealing with them he deals them to you. You need to continue with the medical side of things, sort it with your family, and tell him that he needs help, to get it,  and that you will not consider a relationship unless he does. Your safety comes first. If he suddenly gets attentive and lovey-dovey, even to the point of proposal, be suspicious of that. Thank goodness you don't have a child with him. 

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