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I’ve lost my will to live

Posted , 8 users are following.

christine19688
christine19688

I used to be the most energetic and happy person, so filled with love for my life. The last 4 years my life and thoughts have rapidly declined.

Every morning I wake up and I just want to cry. I no longer look forward to anything anymore that once excited me. I dread hanging out with friends because it’s too much work for me to put on a happy face. I just feel numb. 

Within the past year I’ve lost my amazing grandfather who was everything to me, my dog is dying(who is my world since I was 12)’ my mother is moving away to a different country with her new boyfriend, and I’m living a life with no purpose. I’m so comfortable sitting in my room everyday watching tv and being alone, and I know I’m wasting my life. I have no motivation anymore, nothing makes me happy. I can’t explain it. I wish I could get off my ass and do something with my life, but I’m just numb and tired. I get extreme anxiety talking to certain friends/guys that I would prefer to hide in the comfort of my own home. My parents are getting older and I can’t even bare the thought of loosing them. Everyday I imagine myself dying in a car crash, or loosing family in an accident.. and it makes me loose my mind. Someone please help me figure out what to do. I’m too scared to take medication because I’ve heard awful stories. I’m 23 btw. I’m sorry for ranting I’m just lost. 

3 likes, 5 replies

5 Replies

  • Anthony0100
    Anthony0100 christine19688

    Posted

    Hi Christine. Sorry to hear you're going through this. I can empathise I'm also feeling similar. It's good that you can write It down that's a big step.

    Have you been to the doctors and are you on any medication?

    It sounds like you have very bad anxiety and depression which together are hell on earth.

    I'm going through a really bad stage sat the moment and have been for a few months now. You're not alone and I'm here if you ever need a chat.....

  • 9999
    9999 christine19688

    Posted

    I'm 25. I've wasted 7 years laying in bed. You're not alone. I'm sorry for your grandfather.🙏Cbt therapy will get to the point I've heard. It will help you! Give it a try. If you can't get out of your house. There's online Therapy too. Good Luck. Doctors may prescribe you benzos. Like Xanax. It's for short term use only. Take Care💖💖

  • yasmine333
    yasmine333 christine19688

    Posted

    Hi Christine

    So sorry to hear what you're going through but you're honestly not alone.

    I'm not surprised you're feeling like this it seems like you're going through such a lot all at once.

    You really need to put yourself first & take care of your mental health. Go see your doctor & be completly honest. It will help to talk through everything & see what your options are for meds, counselling etc. I know you said you're worried about taking meds but your doctor will be able to tell you which ones are best for you.

    I have the same thoughts & all it does is eat away at you & make you worry unnecessarily. It's all a part of the depression it's not you.

    It's so draining pretending to be happy & putting a fake smile on everyday, you shouldn't have to do it to make others happy. It's time to be selfish & focus on doing what you need to do to make yourself better.

    Please feel free to message me any time.

    Xx

  • greentea30029
    greentea30029 christine19688

    Posted

    Start with therapy, and then if that doesn’t start to work, I wouldn’t hesitate to try medication, but do it under a qualified psychiatrist.  GPs won’t do any good if you are not a classic depression case.
  • Hurt2017
    Hurt2017 christine19688

    Posted

    I really have been there, medication does help with the right "doctor" your so young & I feel you have a beautiful life to live. Btw I'm 39 have been battling with anxiety-depression since I was very young, maybe 10 please seek help, there is to much in this life to live for. You are strong enough to beat this! I'm sending hugs your not alone.best wishes always

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