I've started dating someone with mental health issues and i'm struggling

Posted , 8 users are following.

I feel awful, I've started dating a really amazing guy and it went so well for the first month, then his depression and anxiety kicked in.

From the start i have expressed my understanding and listened to many of his thoughts and feelings.

I ama very empathetic person largely because i too suffer from depression and anxiety.

However, it's quickly developed into me being a sounding board and turned a somewhat dark corner really early on.

I myself am happy however feel this deteriorating because of his poor mental health. This is not what i want the start of a relationship to be like and i hate to admit it but it has made my feelings for him diminish. I don't know what to do due to his fragility and equally verbalising how he 'can't lose me'. I feel so guilty. Please can someone offer some advice?

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7 Replies

  • Posted

    Don't feel guilty-- it's your life too.  Do what you can to get him help.  Encourage him to seek a therapist, he will learn how to cope and possibly take meds..   Good luck!

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  • Posted

    You need to be honest with him now well your relationship is new. He's dragging you down with him. I had a girlfriend ( just friend) she was always in the negative and I just couldn't stand it any longer. I tried everything to

    change the subject to happy things or take her out of her apartment to positive places. She was determined to

    make everything depressing. I had to end it for my own mental health reasons. Forget the guilt feeling it's your

    life. Some people you just can't change or help. If you want to be real gentle say you will be friends. Then you

    aren't committed to visit much  and slowly back off.

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  • Posted


    All I can advice is you talk to him according to his condition. You can continue listening to him. Do anything you can do to help him with his condition and be honest about your feelings to him.

    Best wishes


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  • Posted

    First of all tell him frankly what you think or feel about the relationship you both have. If you can help him then do not hesitate and try to make him happy and busy in some work. Sometimes love and care helps to cure people with depression and anxiety try your level best if it still not works then backoff slowly without hurting because he is already suffering with mental health....all the best 
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  • Posted

    Get out of that relationship ASAP I've been in a crazy relationship for 15 years now and it's up and down but really effects you. Loss of family friends life style it all disappears and constantly sucked dry like a vampire.

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    • Posted

      You are right about that!!  I've been married for 18 years and the last few years have been horrible.  He still refuses meds and therapy.  So frustrating when 'they' don't want to help themselves.

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