I've thrown my son out because of cannibas

Posted , 5 users are following.

My son is 22.he has smoked weed for a few years.over this time there have been many outbursts which have resulted in him smashing up his room.

After an argument today he smashed up things in the lounge.my husband,his step dad,told him to leave.enough is enough.i was hysterical and had a panic attack.my husband and son started fighting.my son called the police and told my husband he would get him sacked for gbh.

The police came and said we had obviously been very tolerant with him and no action was being taken against my husband.

I told my son to get out and my mum has taken him in.

I know I have to put my husband and daughter first now.this can't go on.but I feel so sad and hate if I have let my son down.everybody says I haven't.i have been more than patient. My son has called me every name and blames me for his messed up life.he acts like the world owes him.he can't keep a job.

Has anyone got a similar story to share?

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  • Posted

    He is 22 years old and if he chooses to disrespect you in a home where it's stresses other family members out ...... you done good. If he chooses to dovdrugs snd he cannot behave in a way that acceptable then he has to have consequences. Just because your his mum you shouldn't have to tolerate his dysfunctional behaviour. Let him know you love him and will always be there for him but don't ruin other family members lives because of him. It will be tough and you'll feel guilty no matter what you do, that's a part of motherhood. We feel guilty for allot of things.....god I feel guilty if I buy mint toothpaste rather than strawberry flavour!!! We always feel guilty but be realistic and stick by your decisions because that is not acceptable behaviour and if you tolerate it it will spiral and get worse. Good luck be strong and send him some leaflets that have phone numbers on guiding him to seek drug support xxx

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    • Posted

      Because unfortunately people make certain decisions in life that are not functional, you have to stand your ground and understand that it's he's decision to do drugs and to have temper tantrums that are connect d with his drugs. If you forced him to take drugs or made him take drugs and now he's addicted, then maybe he could partially blame you. He isn't a child he is a 22 year old man and as a responsible adult he has to make choices that are mature! He isn't so suffer the adult consequences. Tough love x

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  • Posted

    Hi, I’ve only just seen your post but I have a similar situation. My brother has used cannabis for years and it has got to the point now where I can’t visit my parents if he is going to be there. Every time he caused an argument and we now have a list of topics that we can’t mention around him because it angers him. I wish my mum was as strong as you, he makes her life a misery with his requests for help with general tasks and then being abusive when things don’t go the way he wanted. My mum has tried so hard to help him with daily life as his wife left him 8 years ago, before he was this bad. If my mum was as strong as you I am convinced that he would begin to see the damage he has caused and possibly seek help. Please don’t feel bad, you are helping him realise he needs to change x
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  • Posted

    Hi worried mummy 

    if it helps, my wife and I were in the same position as yourself last year. We made up our minds come hat may we were sticking together. Your son will send you on a constant guilt trip saying I don't have a problem, it's just weed, at least it's not heroin, He said horrible things to his mother and several times I put him out of the house. Then she'd be worried sick, then he'd come back and maybe I'd let him in and maybe leave him out for a good few hours. He slept in sheds and unused houses. Our line all the time was no drugs of any description in our house. At the same time we were making sure he couldn't get any money whatsoever and also his behaviour was getting so bad that his friends including girlfriend all left him. Lost his college place etc the worse he got the more we reminded him he had nothing and nobody left except us. This as you can imagine took months and after two weeks in jail and him turned away from 3 different "friends" he eventually called us from a police station at 4am.

    we struggled detoxing him at home for 6to 8 weeks but got him to a rehab 2 months ago. You need to follow your instincts and stick to your guns together, be flexible to taking him back but only if he says he needs help so tell him this if your talking to him. Keep repeating this firmly and asking him if he needs help. Finally look up Cenacolo U.K. Read all about it that's where we got our son into. It's not for everyone and it takes commitment from everyone. They have 70 houses worldwide. Things will never and cannot be the same again for you or him so good luck. P.s his dad is just as worried as you he's just frustrated you both are so keep the cool and try again and again your son doesn't have anyone else in the world rooting for him only you.

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