I want this pain and sadness to stop!!!!

Your not alone, depression can turn into anxiety and that triggers fear. I was once stuck in my house for 3 months, I would step outside on the porch and this overwhelming sensation came over me so I would turn around and run more or less back inside. My friends did my shopping for me I even got to the point I cut my own hair turned on the trimmers and cut it all off. I now have a wife 3 kids and still I get depressed a lot. I feel nothing I ever do or say is good enough or if I do it's going to be the wrong thing.

Hi hes

fear of leaving home is really common in a phase/section of your depression. You may not think it now, but I promise you that you will recover from this, and get the joy back in your life. How long have you been unwell for? Are you taking antidepressants, if so for how long? These factors all tie in and are usually part of the horrible journey many of us have trod or are treading.

It's hard when you get a good day and wake up the next day to a rubbish one. It's so disheartening, but again it's part and parcel of this illness.

Is there any chance you could get a few annual leave days from work? I think you could benefit without work pressure on top ♥

Wishing you better

god bless

Lorraine x

Hi,

Happiness is often all down to a state of mind rather than the circumstances we find ourselves in and the harder we try to feel happy, the more elusive it can be. Not everyone who wears a smile is happy inside so don't worry about what other people are doing or feeling - what's important is you own self-image. If you are honest with yourself I'm sure you are doing your best and you are not "allowing" yourself to be ill and feel depressed. You are suffering distress and if you weren't able to work this weekend, your employer will just have to understand and cut you some slack. Everyone is entitled to absent themselves from work if they are not well, on grounds of health and safety if nothing else. Try not to worry about what may happen; concentrate on your health without pressurising yourself into feeling better too soon - I've not come across anyone yet who can heal themselves through will-power ;-)

You had a good day yesterday - hold onto that. There will be ups and downs and the highs we can experience make the valleys feel that much deeper. But that isn't the end of the story - there will be highs again. Are you getting any support at the moment (medication, counselling/therapy, Occupational Health via work)?

It's frustrating but depression is sometimes like a maze or labyrinth - there is a path out of it but we just need to find that right route.

Please don't give up hope. Ask for the help that you need to get you back on the right track. Wishing you all the best. Let us know how things progress.

Why me, but why not me. A friend of mine had everything money could buy plus 2 great kids and then at 18 her daughter was diagnosed with stem cell leukemia. She said to herself why me but also said why not me. Anyway the daughter is 35 now cant have children but alive and doing well.  Have you been to doctor for some help with meds. Find one that suits and the pain and sadness will ease and dissappear, just as the sun comes up every day.

Be kind to yourself too.

sorry for sounding mean but WAKE UP  i have not left my home at all for 2 years as i have been in danger from attack my life is in danger do not stop your self from going out side i miss the fresh air so much when the wind blows through the window i stand there and smell it and almost get tears as i miss it so much. don't rob your self of out side for no life threatening reason

Hi Hes,

So sorry you are suffering.  I can so relate to the prison and suicidal thoughts you describe.  One thing I could offer is that believing that you are "allowing" this illness to consume you, is like setting yourself up to shoot yourself in the foot every day.  It is like saying to the disease that you are powerless, but you are not.  Fortunately in this day and age, we have lots of avenues in which to seek help.  Depression is organic.  We cannot will it away, but we can learn to manage it.  Though the years, I have learned that when suicidal thoughts begin crossing my mind that it is time to go for help.

The horrid thoughts that I am stuck forever in pergatory, that I am not worthy, that I am a nothing, that I will never make any friends, that I will never feel comfortable going outside my home, are all lies.  Lies this disease like to trap us into.

It is wise to guard against comparing ourselves to others because other people are rarely as happy as they seem.  Everyone has struggles.  In general, others wear the same masks we wear.  You know the ones I mean.  Socially acceptable masks to avoid being rejected because of who we really are.  Those down pat common noncommittal answers we have rehearsed over and over to those socially acceptable noncommittal questions, like, "How are you?"  "Fine, thank you."  No one really wants to hear the truth.  Then we feel further alone and isolated.

Hang in there and it looks as though you have several others on here who share your struggles.  This is the one place where we can speak the truth and discover that we are not alone.  Every little help counts.

Take care

Dawn, USA