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I want to escape my life and had thought of killing myself.

Posted , 8 users are following.

JPIrish
JPIrish

I'm 30 years old now and I haven't had much success in my life and every time I think something is going well I somehow manage to mess it up. I am lost and can't see a way out of this depression this time. I am getting closer to edge and want to jump and I'm scared that if I get too close that I will just not care anymore what happens. I know that if this continues that I will consider just saying enough is enough to this life and end it.

1 like, 12 replies

12 Replies

  • britrecko
    britrecko JPIrish

    Posted

    Your state of mind can be helped.I suggest you find a psychotherapist who can assist you in looking at why "you mess it up"

    Also antidepressant pill may help giving you the mindset to apply the new learning experience.

  • deirdre._03652
    deirdre._03652 JPIrish

    Posted

    Dear jpirish, please try not to think like this...I understand how absolutely dreadful and hopeless life can seem (been there many, many times) but it can and will get better.....it may take many tries but it really is possible to SEE a light at the end of the tunnel...xx

    Please go and see your GP as soon as possible, call the SAMARITANS AND MIND, if you really are distraught then go straight to your A AND E DEPT, ..everyone needs help and understanding sometimes, you can come through this a stronger person who will be able to help others...

    You must talk to someone you trust, how old are you? If you don't mind me asking.. love and heartfelt wishes to you, Deirdre xx

  • deirdre._03652
    deirdre._03652 JPIrish

    Posted

    Hi I must apologize, you have already made known your age, so sorry,

    Deirdre.. xxx

    • JPIrish
      JPIrish deirdre._03652

      Posted

      That's ok, I just need to hear other peoples opinion on the matter. I know I should go to my gp or contact the Samaritans. I have contacted them before and they have helped. I just don't want to keep bothering them with more issues. I know they say take one day at a time but at the minute I would rather not be here. I have some trust issue because of what happened to me when I was younger but I will try and at least reply to messages on this. Perhaps it will give me something to look forward to because I need something to look forward to.
  • sphrah95270
    sphrah95270 JPIrish

    Posted

    hugs x know how you feel - depression does make you think there is no way out - thats its hideous insideious nature. Its not reality its just the depression. Its like dark sun glasses - it makes everything seem dark and awful, yourself, your future, everything thats happened...but its not real its a delusion caused by your mind.  If you give it time it will pass - I was pretty suicidal a matter of hours ago - 36 hours ago I was certain. I got talked out of it and somehow Im still here. So weird, in a way Im glad - once you decide to live something clicks and it starts to get better - dont get too close to the edge!
    • JPIrish
      JPIrish sphrah95270

      Posted

      Thanks for the reply sphrah95270, It's comfortable to know that others know what I'm going through. I should be here either because I was also talked out of out before. This time it's going to be harder because my mind has already decided that it can't take any more depression. It's almost as if it has already given up. There only thing I can do about it is what I said to the other replies is that I will reply to the message and hope that gives me something to look forward to.
  • marywarner777
    marywarner777 JPIrish

    Posted

    Hello, Ending the life is not the correct solution. Infact you should fight with your problems with firmness and one day you will definitely be successful. Do the work in which you are perfect. Age is not the factor that decides your progress or to be comapred with success. So don't get depress and keep working    
    • JPIrish
      JPIrish marywarner777

      Posted

      Thanks Mary, I will try and work through it. I know it isn't the best solution but at this time it seemed to be the only solution. From talking to professionals before I know that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. It is only a little helpful to know that and at the minute, little help is better than no help. Like I said to the other replies I'll keep messaging do at least I have something to look forward to.
    • anne240
      anne240 JPIrish

      Posted

      I feel because you are postig here, you relly have doubts about ending your life.  Many peope, me included, have been where you are now.  Look how helpful and understanding people here are.  We all want you to live. 

      I have battatle for over 20 years.  Taken an overdose,but glad I failed.  We all care about each other. Take strength from us.  I promise you, and I know this from experience, things will get better, honestly.

    • JPIrish
      JPIrish anne240

      Posted

      Yes I do have doubts about killing myself and I'm sure it will get better but I need to get the thoughts out of my system or it will grow. I can see that people do care and I suppose we can all help each other in one way or another. I know how the mind works to a certain degree and I know that it can be changed. The only thing being when you are on the edge, you aren't in the right mind and that is why many just jump. There is one reason I can think of that had stopped me in the past which is if I stay alive they is a chance I could save someone else from dying.
  • dinky_dee
    dinky_dee JPIrish

    Posted

    Hi JP, I understand exactly how you feel. I'm having a bad few days myself. I feel like my life is a relentless cycle of stress upon stress & that everything I touch turns to sh*t. I was walking my dogs last night & was screaming inside my head "I can't take this anymore, I hate my life, this isn't my life" I seem to attract toxic people into my life & keep questioning if I can ever trust anyone again. I have SAD & keep rationalising that alot of my feelings are down to that & a very stressful year. when I tough things were picking up crap just happened to me agin & set my back. I tried taking some anti depressants recently but had a bad reaction to them so that's all added to my feelings of despondecy. I'm in my thirties also & understand the feeling that things should be better by our time of life & why don't we learn from our mistakes etc It's so difficult to not be hard on yourself.
  • rose1087
    rose1087 JPIrish

    Posted

    Hi j.

    I can across this post because I am feeling the same as you. Everything you wrote I have the same thoughts, feelings and went through similar experience growing up.

    I really want to know that you are ok and that you made it past that horrendous time. It was 3 years ago and I would like to hear how you made it.

    I hope that you found a solution or something that helped you. I would really like to hear from you because maybe it would help me too.

    I've been fighting these feelings for 5 years now and it seems to be getting worse for me. That's why here I am looking for help. I don't know what to do.

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