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I was diagnosed with HSV2 yesterday.

Posted , 6 users are following.

Kate1552
Kate1552

The phone call yesterday that told me I tested positive for HSV2 sent me into a spiraling panic attack. Today started out a little better, but then I sunk into the darkest place of my life. I couldn't stop sobbing. I had to call my doctors nurse and ask for an anxiety medication. I also asked for a suppressive therapy to continue after my 10 day course of Valtrex is up but she said that would only be prescribed for those with constant outbreaks. Well I don't want constant outbreaks hence the reason I asked for suppressive therapy. I also ready that taking a daily regime of the Valtrex would reduce your risk of transmission by about half but she said this was false. Does anyone have any more knowledge on this? I feel like the only person in the world with this condition. All day today I've looked at over girls and envied their lives and how they're most likely not worrying about something like this. I am 20 years old and about to apply to pharmacy school. I just never thought something like this could happen to me. If I had to guess I got it from the man I dated almost a year ago. A solid week after we first slept together I got this terrible sore spot. I immediately went to the doctor but she didn't think it was herpes. She prescribed Bactrim for an infected hair follicle but also Acyclocir just in case. Well a few months later it happened again but not so bad. I went to another doctor who felt sure it wasn't herpes. It then came and went with my period almost every month until I finally had enough. I went to a third doctor who ALSO didn't think it was herpes but I insisted on a blood test which just as I suspected, came back positive. I asked my then boyfriend when I had my initial outbreak if he had any history of the condition and he denied it. I know it can be spread without symptoms but still. I can't help but feel hatred toward him. I've been with my current boyfriend for a little over a month now. He is the man of my dreams. I called him as soon as I found out. He was upset but he is still talking to me. He seems to be trying to ignore the discussion entirely though. I've told two close friends but that's it. I don't know anyone with the condition and I feel so alone. If anyone has any words of advice or encouragement it would be greatly appreciated. I feel like a disgusting, dirty person. I know it's common and it's no more serious than a cold sore. But the psychological stigma attached to this condition is deafening. Thanks guys.

0 likes, 28 replies

28 Replies

  • amber88854
    amber88854 Kate1552

    Posted

    Hi kate my name is Amber i know exactly where u are coming from . I went to four doctors and nobody gave me pills to make it go away and not come back . Well i had enough so i called planned parenthood was crying and told them made an apt and they said i had hsv 2 and had to options to be on subressive theropy or take pills when i have an out break well i chose supressive theropy . I have been with my bf for four months now and have had no out breaks and am having sex without a condom and he has had no syomtons. Try calling them . They also give u information on hsv 2 which was very much helpful. Everyone has herps and at least it is not hiv . Think of it as a part of your body but u can live with it . I was just as depressed as u thought my sex life was over but then i got on pills that i take twice a day and i am back with having sex with my amazing bf
    • Kate1552
      Kate1552 amber88854

      Posted

      You are all so amazing. I hope I have the same luck as you in that I can do a suppressive therapy and not give it to my partner. I hate to know that I'll have to use condoms for the rest of forever. I'm glad to hear you and your bf don't always use them and he's ok. I do definitely want children one day.
  • m28548
    m28548 Kate1552

    Posted

    I definitely know what you are going through.  I was depressed when I first found out that I had it -- and can you imagine -- when I received the phone call from the doctor telling me about the diagnosis, I was in the middle of cooking dinner for a new guy that I started seeing and he was on the way to my house.  I had to fake a smile and try to pretend that I was okay.  I cried a lot in the first couple of weeks.

    Suppressive therapy DOES decrease the risk of transmission as well as shorten the duration of an outbreak if you do get one while on the meds.

    You may feel like you are alone now, and I know I certainly did.  However, I'm glad that you found this website/blog.  I stumbled upon this randomly while trying to do some independent research after I found out that I had HSV2 and I've taken great comfort in everyone's experiences and stories here.  It makes me feel like I am not alone.  One of my sisters lives overseas and she was recently in town to visit.  I opened up to her about it, and she actually said that she has had HSV2 for 6 years now.  I understand that you are going to pharmacy school -- I actually work in prescription benefits so I am constantly looking at member records on a daily basis and what medications they are filling.  Now that I now which meds are for HSV, I see them a LOT.  This virus is so much more common than people realize.

    • Kate1552
      Kate1552 m28548

      Posted

      You are so helpful. Thank you so much. I hate that I'll have to find yet another doctor to be able to do suppressive therapy. This will be doctor #4. You would think they would be a little more helpful.
  • Alexinator
    Alexinator Kate1552

    Posted

    Hi Kate, I was diagnosed a little over a month ago with type 1 herpes. I'm still learning all this stuff but I know how you feel, like your life is over. Stuff happens, we can't do much about it. I have my good days and my bad days, don't let it get you down though. For me its more of a mental thing, I have yet to have my first outbreak but I know I have it. If you need to message anyone go ahead and message me or anyone else on here, everyone here is more than willing to help. Stay strong
    • Kate1552
      Kate1552 Alexinator

      Posted

      Thank you so much. I don't personally know you guys, but you are my rock. I don't know anyone personally going this so y'all are my shoulder to lean on. Thank you so much.
    • Topp
      Topp Alexinator

      Posted

      I haven't had an official OB. Just all other symptoms. It's like we just have to wait for this to happen. So daunting.
    • Alexinator
      Alexinator Kate1552

      Posted

      No problem, this is very common, just that people don't like to make it public (I don't blame them at all for it) Don't be afraid to ask questions
    • Alexinator
      Alexinator Topp

      Posted

      Right? A small percentage of people live with this and never show any symptoms, maybe that is us, hopefully.
    • Topp
      Topp Alexinator

      Posted

      Omg I pray that's the case!!!

      Still puts a damper on dating life tho!!! Like by far!!

    • Alexinator
      Alexinator Topp

      Posted

      Right?! Just knowing you having it pretty much shuts down any hope to being with someone without this virus.
    • Topp
      Topp Alexinator

      Posted

      Oh I still have hope but I feel like the chances now are even more slim. It just sucks tho. People say it turns out eventually so there's that.
    • Alexinator
      Alexinator Topp

      Posted

      Just a mater of finding the right person
  • Topp
    Topp Kate1552

    Posted

    I get it!! My primary said it wasn't anything but a gyn said the symptoms sounded like it because I never had an actual OB yet but I had ALL the symptoms, body aches, lower back pain, flu like symptoms, headaches, tingly, discharge which sucked because I have a demanding life. And they say don't stress. Yeah ok. It is definitely insane and I look around and feel like I'm in this parallel world where I'm a completely different person than the rest. Like are they dealing with this? It sucks. My gyn gave me a weeks worth of Valtrex but I still don't have an official diagnosis. They said I pretty much have to wait for an OB so they can swab it because that's the surest way they say. So I'm living in limbo until this actually happens and then go from there. Ugh. It's so overwhelming and I struggle with it too.
    • Kate1552
      Kate1552 Topp

      Posted

      They couldn't run a blood test?? That's how I was diagnosed. They couldn't swab me because I didn't really have anything TO swab. I don't think I really had the flu like symptoms. I just had a small spot close to my vulva that swelled a little and was extremely tender. Since then it's just been a swollen bump when I OB. That's why for the longest I didn't think it was HSV. My current OB which is almost gone now, actually does look more like the classic herpes. That's why I went to this 3rd doctor. Two little bumps that had a clearish fluid in them. Now they're trying to scab over. But oddly enough I'm not in any pain. It's just a bit tender when I wipe after using the bathroom. It's odd that we all are affected in different ways. I really feel for those who have the severe OB. I pray I never feel that pain.
    • m28548
      m28548 Kate1552

      Posted

      Blood tests might not tell you if you're positive or not -- they check for antibodies.  If you have antibodies in your system, it means it's not a new infection and you've had it a while.  If it's a new infection, those antibodies might not have built up yet. 
    • Kate1552
      Kate1552 m28548

      Posted

      That's true. I didn't think of it like that. I can't believe I've gone this long before having the blood test done.
    • Topp
      Topp Kate1552

      Posted

      I read that it's painful and it sucks that's what has to happen usually at some point. They said if I've ever had a cold sore, which I have, that it would show positive. They say it's better to wait for an OB and that's the most accurate. The symptoms have subsided but yeah no blisters or bumps.
    • Topp
      Topp m28548

      Posted

      Exactly. It's been 2 months since I slept w a guy and used protection but right after that my body was going through some stuff and I got physically ill. And plus the mental torment, depression, and dark thoughts are so overwhelming besides what's happening to my body.
    • Kate1552
      Kate1552 Topp

      Posted

      I honestly feel like the emotional torment is worse than the condition itself.
    • Topp
      Topp Kate1552

      Posted

      Well yeah for sure! Some days are.good and some days are bad. It's definitely a lot to grasp that's for sure.
    • Kate1552
      Kate1552 Topp

      Posted

      I asked my doctor to prescribe something to help me deal with it for now. She gave me Buspar so we'll see how that goes.
    • Topp
      Topp Kate1552

      Posted

      I know, I take a souped up benadryl to help me sleep if I'm having a hard time sleeping. This anxiety was overwhelming in the beginning but I'm better now. Obviously it's still a lot at times but I feel I've somewhat come to terms w it which is good. But yeah I try not to use the anxiety as much as possible.
    • Kate1552
      Kate1552 Topp

      Posted

      I hate taking medications for things. Kind of ironic that I'll be on one for the rest of my life now.
    • Topp
      Topp Kate1552

      Posted

      Omg me too! Same here. It seems like so much on a body..
    • FelizCastus
      FelizCastus m28548

      Posted

      Just wait till the window period before testing, like you would with any other antibody test. For herpes, it's 3-4 months from exposure/infection.
    • FelizCastus
      FelizCastus Topp

      Posted

      As noted before elsewhere, you can still test.
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