I wish I can sleep forever

Posted , 5 users are following.

I had a friend and she know almost everything about me. But one day she stop talking to me and treat me as if I am the stupidest ignorant person in the world. Every word that I said make her angry. I don't know what happened and when I asked her, she won't give me the answer. Everyday is like a torture to me. I don't have many friends. I kept my circle small. And when this happen, my world kinda turn upside down. I sleep more often. I don't want to face the truth. All I feel is sadness and disappointment. I tried to fix the situation but things only getting worse.

I lost my confidence. I can feel the physical pain inside my heart. It makes me super sensitive. I cry over little things. I lay on my bed all day long. I hate being like this. I hate myself. I had lose so many people in my life and I can't afford to lose more because of my own stupidity. I'm so stupid.

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6 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi Elle, I am the same as you, I have 2 or 3 best friends only. One of them live too far away, one of them has a really busy life and my best longest standing friend is a single mum with 3 kids. I can go days without speaking to people, that's why I use here. So speak away, you may be a friend!

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    • Posted

      Thank you Sam! I don't know how can I express my feeling when I read your reply. You words help me a lot. I've been spending all day long thinking how am I going to communicate with her this Monday. Again, thanks a lot Sam! 😭

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  • Posted

    Hi ElleKay, it must be awful for you to lose your best friend like this and not knowing why. 

    Your NOT stupid, this isn't your fault and you should stop hating yourself. By all means have a good cry and understand that your sadness and disappointment is perfectly natural when someone does this to you.

    Is there anyone you can talk too about this? 

    Regarding your friend why don't you write her a letter and post it to her address asking her what you have done for her to be like this with you so you can make amends if necessary , you just want to know the truth and the effect it is having on you. See what response you get, but if she just doesn't want to engage with you then let her go she doesn't deserve to have you as a friend.

    Practically don't lay in bed all day long, get yourself out and socialise with the friends you have and remember your not stupid!

    Neil 

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    • Posted

      Hello Neil. I did asked her why did she got so angry through whatsapp. But she said we were all grown up. I should realize my own mistake and there is no use to tell me if I don't understand anything about it. The problem is ,I really don't understand what the hell is going on. She's being cold towards me and it's killing me. Maybe you were right. I may need to let her go.

      And yes! I'll take your advice. I'm going out tomorrow and I need to socialize more. Being like this made me realize how small my world is. Thanks a lot Neil! Your words mean the world to me!

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    • Posted

      Hi ElleKay - I'm sorry you are faced with this life event, and I'm sure many here can relate to what you have said. Losing freinds is painful enough, but moreso when you don't quite know why. Freinds move in and out of our orbit as we mature and as painful as that might be, there will be others that will take her place.

      Aspinan has a reat suggestion in writing a letter adressing the issue. You cantake as long as you want with it, go back and edit it - hell, you don't even have to post it. Writing it down will help focus the issue. Keep a copy of it if you do send it. If it's rejected, grieve over the reality, then, when you are ready, take the copy and burn it. Make a ceremony out of, saying to yourself that this act cleanses the matter from your life and that you are now open and availbale to find a new and better freind. Because you will. That's what life is, a journey, where the scenery is constantly changing even as your vehicle gets older and slower and wiser. Keep your chin up and, no, you are not stupid. You're perfect as you are at any given moment along the road.

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    • Posted

      Thank you Wayne! Actually I'll try to talk to her nicely after this. I don't want our friendship to end like this. Thank you for responding to my feeling. It's been so hard that I can't force myself to eat right.

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