I wish I was dead...

d

The problem with Mental Illness and those around us  generally caused by lack of understanding and sometimes they can also consider it a sign of weakness.

Sometimes when awaiting a birth can also effect your mood and miss understanding of your reasons at this happy time

Your Fathers death can also cause depression because you have not come to terms with your loss. You need to talk and if this is a problem you will suffer sadness and low mood.

I do not know if your  Mother is still alive and if you have any siblings, if you can sit down with then and discuss the loss you must be all feeling  I find talking about those good and bad times will help you grieve aand come to terms at this family loss. When it comes to your Husband it may be He is not actually know the relationship you had with your Dad so it will be hard for him to understand so you need to revert to those who had  some form of relationship with you Dad.

I do not know your past and I cannot relate to why you say you are bad ?, All I know is you have a new life for you to bring into this world, given that you may feel overwhelmed  regards the future of  the three of you and given that you need encouragement and understanding as your life expectations change.

Just because your life at this time is so very full, you may be worried  because of the changes you and your partner has is store. You have a great deal to think about and consider as this new life can change many things even when all your ducks seem all in a row.

In a nutshell you need to talk with your husband and make plans for the new arrival, He will need to understand you Both have new considerations to consider.

Personally I feel you will hopefully feel more positive at the birth although I feel you may be low after the birth, this is normal

At this time I do not feel medications are not the answer because of the pregnancy possibly effecting the new born However your GP is the only one who can suggest this type of treatment.

As explained above both you and husband needs to talk regards the addition to your family. Talking can be liberating

Good Luck

BOB

This is my first time reading this site and it appears we all have the same problem; wishing we were dead! Sadly I don't know the answer. I'm taking three 75mg Effexor and wellbutrin and I still feel that those around me would be much happier (in the long run) if I were dead. I even sat down yesterday with my 45 trying to make sense of everything and........nothing. My wife thinks it's her fault that I'm so unhappy; Not True! The problem is me. I'm very unhappy with who I am and there's nothing I can do about it. It's too late in life to start over so why bother. I've worked my butt off all my life and I have nothing to show for it; nothing but a lot of bad decisions. Just noticed something, I'm in the US and I believe these posts are UK related. Guess what guys, these problems, whatever they are, stretch around the world. Hopefully I won't post anymore trash like this and I work up the nerve to meet my maker.

You should never feel you are not 'entitled' to be depressed, d72127. Having 'good things in your life' is great, but it doesn't guarantee feeling good about life. Depression is the lack of vitality and many things can cause it.

I have been married for many years and we are very close now and can share everything. But it wasn't always that way-it took time to build that relationship. My wife and I were divorced for several years but eventually reconciled and got remarried. She is my best friend now, don't know what I'd do without her in my life.

The point being, maybe your husband is unsupportive now but-with the right help-he can be a good partner to you eventually? Some folks are not interested or attentive because that aspect of them wasn't developed, but it can be in time. 

I can talk to my wife about ANYTHING now, but it sure wasn't like that when we first got married. It took a lot of work from both of us to get there. Hope it works out for you and your partner. God bless you.

Hi when you say you feel empty to me that is a dead giveaway that your emotions never felt validated as a child and consequently you pushed them down to survive your childhood and now you have problems reconnecting with them.  I had a childhood like that but discovered Childhood Emotional Neglect which explained many things to me and bells rang.  It might be the case for you and is so there is info available online.  I hope this helps you.  x

To say it's nice to see someone else feeling the way I do (especially in a situation like this) doesn't quite come off right. So let me say this instead; you aren't alone. I'm in a very similar state of mind and in a similar set of circumstances.

People mean well, I've had some very nice people people give me sound and reasonable advice. I can't for the life of me understand why I end up feeling more miserable and isolated with every word sent to comfort me.

In fact, at this point I've gotten so miserable I'm barely fit to be around. The things that comfort me the most come from me, but I'm not comfortable sharing my thoughts on a public forum, they are too dark and I don't think anyone would understand them.

I will share one thought though and I hope I don't get blasted for it. But first a disclaimer: please understand I don't have a violent bone in my body and would never actually do any of this ok?

Okay, this part is real... so it gets bad, real bad, like I have the gun in my hand and can't stand a minute more, not figuratively ... literally. And I think... whoa whoa, wait a minute... I haven't done much in my life, I'd like to be remembered, all I have left are a few minutes here on Earth, not much time... That's when I see a strawberry shortcake Halloween costume in my closet and I think to myself... What if I put that bad boy on and wrote a note saying how berry berry much life sucks... I wonder what the EMT would make of it? Would I get a mention in the paper? I mean... You know someone is going to remember you forever if they cleaned up that mess.... And then I laugh and for a minute everything is ok and I hang on tight to that minute till the feeling passes.

Yeah, I know, I need help, I see a therapist, I reach out to people all the time. Nothing helps. The only thing that keeps me alive is planning the most spectacular exit I can and next thing I know I'm laughing till I'm blue in the face.

It's bad, I'm not going to lie, I've got a million ways I've thought of going out at this point, but I'm still here and that's the only reason why.

For anyone reading this, please don't blast me for revealing my coping mechanism, I really am hanging on by a thread and it wouldn't take much to push me over. I'm just in a dark place and humor is my only nightlight. If it's as bad as you say it is, I believe you and know for a fact there is no advice for that sort of darkness. All I can do is say, "you too huh? bummer." and turn up my nightlight so you aren't alone in the dark. My email is sarah85044@gmail.com[/b] I am in no position to give anyone life advice, but I will delight in sharing my million in one ways to go out with a bang and show you how hard it is to kill yourself when your laughing. I'd like a friend, hit me up if you want one too. I'm due in December, when are you due?