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I wish I were dead.....

Posted , 5 users are following.

booboo40688
booboo40688

I have been diagnosed with a mild form of schizophrenia and I don't know how to deal with my illness no more....my cousin died of cancer and I wish I died instead of him....my boyfriend can't stand me or my illness no more...just like everyone else..everyone leaves me because I am mentally ill....they end up leaving me for someone else that doesn't have problems...I'm in a lot of emotional pain....I don't have the strength anymore to keep fighting....I have no friends or family....everyone hates me..all I have is my mum....and i don't want to be a burden for her....I am feeling really low....I wish I were dead....I feel like no one cares...and things always go wrong for me no matter how hard I try...

4 likes, 8 replies

8 Replies

  • amanda35274
    amanda35274 booboo40688

    Posted

    Awww its a horrible feeling isnt it the worst in the world xx i felt as u are a few mths ago but have turned a corner... when ur going thru it u dont want to hear u cn make it i understand it too well. I really wish i had a magic wand 2wave it forward to see u feeling better. Cos its so s***. I really hope u see ur worth it xx ur mum needs ya too. Keep talking about how yr feeling try n ride it thru if u can. Big hugs xx
  • Msky
    Msky booboo40688

    Posted

    I am sorry you are in so much pain .You need to be treated . You need to do a little self love .There are some great meditations for depression and anxiety on you tube . There are also some on positive self affirmations . It is a good place for you to start .
    • booboo40688
      booboo40688 Msky

      Posted

      i definitely need better meds....thank you
  • jill67883
    jill67883 booboo40688

    Posted

    oh NO!!! STOP!!!! You say you're a burden to your Mum?  My daughter had severe mental illness, came on fast, she couldn't live with it (serious hallucinations, terror, etc.), I lost my daughter to mental illness/suicide.  If you END YOUR LIFE you will DESTROY YOUR MOTHER.  I know that's not what you want!!!  Diagnosis of schizophrenia is VERY HARD TO MAKE, it requires six hour written multiple choice exam given over two days and normally you would have already been psychiatrically hospitalized.  I don't know who gave you this diagnosis, maybe it's correct, but I do know this:  there are millions of people with schizophrenia or schizo-affective disorder and many of them are on medications that are helping them.  I don't think I know one "normal" person, what IS "normal" anyway?  I'm not normal any more!  I'd give the rest of my life to spend one minute hugging my daughter.  You are precious, you are one of a kind, and even with a "problem" there is NO ONE LIKE YOU.  With a good therapist and a psychiatrist who can help with medication, you have no idea how much better your life can get.  Now go hug your Mom, tell her you love her, and don't ever think you are a burden to her!!! <3

    • amanda35274
      amanda35274 jill67883

      Posted

      So sorry for ur loss jill cant begin to even imagine what youve been thru. Yr so right booboo can make it xx definately. All here to listen ;0) love to all xx
    • booboo40688
      booboo40688 jill67883

      Posted

      Thank you for your really kind words.... I am sorry for you're loss...you really helped me when I was upset....it just gets too much sometimes expecially when I face isolation because of the way I am...I'm sure you're daughter is proud you are helping other people...??

  • booboo40688
    booboo40688

    Posted

    Thank you for your help and support....just sometimes my illness gets too much for me to deal with....having nagging anxiety all day....some times I can't stand myself no more and get so tired of it all....

    • amanda35274
      amanda35274 booboo40688

      Posted

      No problem. & i can so relate anxiety to me is the worst thing ever so not suprised u get fed up. When anxious i do. Xxx

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