I would like to be my old self again.

I had a pretty bad childhood. My father was a drinker and a drug addict and he caused me many traumas. But experiencing the bad side of life as a kid made me wiser. When i was 12 i started to notice what was actually going on and i was depressed in a way. That so called depressen lasted for 3 years. Then i met a girl who saved me, heald my scars and i was the happiest person in the world. But a couple of months passed and she left and that broke me very much, i started changing. A couple of months passed and i went to Montengro for a vacation. My two friends and I were at a little island called "Hawaii" (trust me i dont know why its called that). We climbed up the highest point of the mountain where you could see the whole city of Budva. It started raining and i was just standing there looking at the city, looking at the blue sky, the grey clouds, the rainbow. In that moment i felt at peace, i felt that i had met my soul, in that moment everything in my life made sense and i got rid of all the bad things in my head. We went back home to Serbia and that peace in my heart continued. Two months passed and in august last year my father died. That broke me and took away that peace inside off me. I tought that i had accepted his death,that i made peace with it, but it turns out i just buried it inside of myself and i had put on a mask of so called "happiness". And last month I realized that i had changed completely. I have become so agressive and rebelious. Many close people have told me the same thing. I feel that i am full of anger and i just want to get rid of it, I want to me my old self again,that little boy who had i kind heart and a clear mind, i just want to find peace again.

If anybody is going trough the same thing and could help me, i would appreciate it very much. :D

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