If any one can help me figure out what to do about my alcoholic father in law who just moved in with

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Obv they don't see that they are alcoholics ..my father in law moved in with us because of his financial situation obv because of his drinking and I only agreed because I did know it wasn't a good idea but he was worried about his dad.not only has nothing but his living situation changed know mine has become not so fun .my boyfriends drinking has now become much worse.his dad is constantly lending him money because I've always refused to he works and makes half decent money he shouldn't be broke .I understand that I am now the easy target to point the blame on and i don't really know how to to go about this .I dont want to fight anymore over his dad or his laziness I just wish he could see what its doing to me and our relationship

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  • Posted

    You are dealing with the most difficult stage, Nicole, BEFORE a problem drinker recognises that they have that problem.

    You should focus your attention on convincing your boyfriend that his drinking is out of control. Unfortunately, if he talks to his father about what you have said, you will find a 2 onto 1 situation where they both make out you are making a fuss over nothing.

    It's difficult to advise without some more information. How much are they both drinking a day?

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    • Posted

      My boyfriend was a somewhat functioning alcoholic when I met him he goes to work everyday but never has money so that why I mean semi functional ,I believe his need to help his father is out of love but he also feels sorry for him because he is alone .he doesn't see that his father is alone because of his drinking and he completely feels responsible for him .his dad is lazy has no friends no life no hobbies and way too much time on his hands he is always depressed and complains to anyone who will listen which is mostly me.he's been there for 3 months and has no will to change but has a lot of advice on what I should change .im completely a bitch to him and my boyfriend now I am aware I'm just so frustrated at his lack of respect for me and also for his son .I believe he is swaying him to leave so they can be together in misery .I believe he was trying to get me to leave which won't happen so know hes trying to convince his son to leave with him my fear isn't selfish here I believe if he does leave he will never have a chance
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    • Posted

      I've told his dad its just not working he needs to help himself and live on his own and STOp being so dependant on us .obv that did not go over well .I'm the one who does everything and has to listen to him cry his family loves him but they are also the first ones to down him which I believe is completly the problem he is spoiled and has no empathy for others and cannot see what he does have not what he doesn't
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    • Posted

      The reason I ask how much he is drinking is that, if it is above a certain amount per day, it can be dangerous to simply stop drinking, withdrawal symptoms can be severe. That applies to both of them. If they addicted to that degree, they would need to do alcohol detox during which they take drugs to counteract the withdrawal symptoms so that can stop driking safely.
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