If I could find the reason why I drink I could work on it

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hi everyone. haven't posted for a while. still drinking 3-5 nights a week. the longest i could manage off it was 3 nights and that rarely happens. was sober 3 days on my librium detox before drinking again. went to AA but you cant discuss reasons why you drink and try to figure out the trigger the way a professional counselor could do. I need to figure out the reason why i do this to myself. i don't want to do it. I want to be healthy and stop putting my husband through this. I dont want to damage my body anymore. im falling into a deeper hole.

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    Hi Vicki. I hope, as this post is 2 weeks old, that you are faring better. I am a recovering alcoholic and have not had a drink for 7 years. After detox I found it hard to stay stopped, when I first tried. As Robin2015 said, I had to hit a point where I had to hit rock bottom. But that was me. Some people describe it as a downward elevator, but only you can decide when to get off. Please don't take this the wrong way but I think you are in a state of denial, you say "...not yet physically dependent but I do get cravings". Craving is a result of physical dependency, your body saying "give me more, more, more."; even if you don't want it, you still have it. AA taught me this, and about the mental obsession, no mater how much I tried to keep it out of my mind, I couldn't. The association with TV and movies is a good place to start, try to stay away from them at night. I am not trying to promote just AA, but for me it taught me that the drinking was just a symptom of my condition. I live in Bristol, UK and we have 90 meetings a week, they all carry the same essential message, but each one is different. Try a different meeting, I have not had a problem with talking about why I drink, it is that commonality with other members that keep me clean & sober today.

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