if this makes sense ?

Posted , 3 users are following.

well nince the depression got Really bad 2 years a go i been kinf od self halming in the sence of drinking alot and taking lots of prescrition pain killers and getting in a right mess the other night i drank 8 liters of cider and took 1000mg of pregabalin i really don't know how i did not stop breathing in my sleep, i can not keep doing this as the recovery each time is getting VERY hard like proper, so today i ordered a tattoo kit i knw sweet fuk all about tattoo but thought instead of hurting my self with drink and drugs i could work out my frustrations tattooing my self seems weird maybe but the suttle pain i would get may ease my frustrations and help with the feeling of lonliness, well thats it really. thanks 

 

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5 Replies

  • Posted

    It is wonderful that you know that what you are doing is not good for you.  Yes, tatooing yourself might be the right kind of pain you need to not think so much about the pain, however, your frustrations will end up permanently on your body.  You are trading one negative for another.  Is there no one you can talk to?  Or a doctor?
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    • Posted

      well the way i se it, its better than killing my self with drugs and alcohole, really it has been getting worse and worse the other month i drank a bottle of spirit or 20 cans of beer a day and that is with out the pills. i understand the tattoos will be there for ever but it don't matter for me as it could be worse. doctors have been no help things are very complicated eh 
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    • Posted

      I am so sorry you are suffering.  There is no easy way to muddle through this alone but even more difficult if you do not have the right person to talk to.  I do understand trading one bad habit for another.  The lesser of two evils.  It is one step into the right direction.   You wondered how you could still be breathing after so many chemicals in your body.  I want you to consider that there is a greater purpose as to why you are still here and I hope you can find what that is.

      Do you know what is hurting so deeply inside you?

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    • Posted

      yes of course but not able to make peace with it all especially being in the situation i am in it have been very dark past 2 years especially. like i say it is very complicated and i find talking about them things never brings me peace.
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    • Posted

      Hi you are going to cause yourself permanent harm by keep overdosing like this.   It might even kill you in the end (probably slowly and painfully).  Or you might end up disabled and your life would be a lot worse than it is now. 

      Why are you punishing yourself like this?   The tattoos might seem like a good idea now but don't forget you will have to live with them for the rest of your life.   What would happen when your depresion lifts?  Life is about change and you cannot see into the future.   You need to spend your energies working out what makes you happy and not in trying half hearted attemps to end your life.   So try and replace the negativity with the positive.  Not easy I know but nothing worthwhile ever is.  x

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