If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything....

Posted , 3 users are following.

So I'm not doing.  Every time I open my mouth, I find myself moaning.  I even annoy myself.

About 7/8 years ago, I had a breakdown.  I was pulled out the estuary by the police.  There was a lot of reasons why, but my husband seemed to take the brunt of it.

I had counceling for about two and a half years, and have been reasonably ok for the last 4/5 years.

Now I find myself getting depressed again, and can't seem to say anything nice about anything. 

My husband is now starting to distance himself - physically, (he's going out a lot), and emotionally.  He says he can't/doesn't want to go through it again.  I think he thinks I'm doing it on purpose. 

How can I get him to see, all I need is a cuddle or even just to sit next to me, would help?

I've called in work sick today - I just can't cope with people...

I've started meds again, but hate taking them. I think I'd sooner feel angry than nothing at all.  This is how it presents itself. 

I know this is a complete ramble, but I'm typing as the thoughts come up.

I'm having nightmares.They are very vivid, and disturb me for days afterwards.

I hate it, and I'm finding it difficult to kick myself up the arse and get to grips with it.  I just want to crawl under a rock.


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  • Posted

    It sounds to me like your perhaps your medication isn't the best for you? I know that abnormal dreams can be caused by citalopram aka celexa for example. 

    Perhaps you should talk to your doc about this. 

    Also, I think you need to tell your husband that you don't want to lose him and that him distancing himself from you only makes you worse. Make sure he understands that you love him and need him. Hopefully that will help him understand. 

    I hope things get better for you. Try to stay active even if you are staying at home and keep in touch with us 

    anonymousgirl x

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    • Posted

      Thanks for that! Hubby has actually said sorry, which had made me feel quite a bit better. 

      I've always had peculiar dreams, antidepressants or not. I'm on amitriptaline.  I started taking it for two slipped discs and a hip impingement. 

      I think the trouble is, having sat Hubby down and talked, I'm too damn active!  I work full time, see to my horse twice a day, come home and mend others horse rugs, and try to run a house as well... 

      The last time I had a week off work, I spent four days doing housework, catching up with the stuff that I hadn't had time to do.  (Think there may be a bit of OCD there, too)

      I'm knackered, but I can't sit still...

      BUT, we had a small breakthrough tonight - I've started to laugh a to myself again - something I haven't managd to do in a while smile


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    • Posted

      This is great news! So glad you talked to your husband about  it! That is a breakthrough!! smile Don't worry, I have taken too much on before as well! Sometimes I even stress about things I don't actually have to do if I had it written down to remember it, then I feel like I have to get it done. So you're not alone! 

      Great news though, keep up the good work! 

      anonymousgirl x

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  • Posted

    Hi Liz,

    Looks like a great opportunity to build upon things now.  You sound busy, maybe a good idea to check with your hubby if your spending enough quality time with him??  Perhaps do something special for him soon? 

    Take care


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