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Hi..I've struggled staying sober...I have about 2 months right now, not counting..but I know its been more than a month.
My life is extremely stressful right now..as many people have life struggles..I just can't deal with much...and for now i am dealing with too much.
The thoughts of drinking to escape come frequently. I got some bad financial news the other day on top of everything else I was desperate at NOT wanting to "deal" or think about the situation and for that whole day I kept thinking about it and kept having panic attacks, lashing out at others, crying..etc...and of course the first thing I thought of was "I can't take it anymore I need to escape the madness and get a drink".
I recognize that those thoughts are normal for me because drinking is the crutch that I've turned to for many years to "cope" or "escape" any uncomfortable situation. I did not drink.
When I went to bed last night I realized that what I have been doing for the past 2 weeks is a great help to keeping me sober.
During the day when the thoughts are strong..I find something to think about that reminds me of how sick I get when I drink (like an event that happened or I find piece of clothing I knew I wore in the hospital during detox and I get it and look at it) and then I am brought back to the horror of my drinking and my detoxes.
Another thing that helps me...Is FIND A BOOK of affirmations or an Alan Carr book that everyone talks about, or the big book...something that talks about the devestation of alcohol. I have a 24 hour book which lists daily thoughts about where I was and where I am...the book I have has dates for every day of the year...When I retire to bed I read the prayer or the meditation for the next day. Here is an example of what I read last night for today:
"It is the quality of life that determines its value. In order to judge the value of a persons life, we must set up a standard. The most valuatble life is one of honesty, purity, unselfishness and love. All peoples lives ought to be judged by this standard in determining their value to the world. By this standard ost of the so-called heros of history were not great men. What shall it profit a main if he gain the whole world, if he loseth is own soul?."
When I read stuff like this it reminds me...that I was sober that day..and that I can be sober tommorow...it gives me something to look forward to as far as moving toward a "spiritual" way of living vs. using the "spirits" to escape the live that has been given to me...It makes me feel like I am doing something good for myself...and it is another coping tool that I believe has been keeping me sober.
If I were drunk I would not be reading stuff like this..expanding my thought processes for the good. If I were drunk I would only be focusing on the negatives of life...and destroying both my body and soul.
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