im lost and confused!!

Posted , 5 users are following.

Im a 22 year With dreams and hope when this recently got shattered after i found out that i have herpes!!

My background...

Im a very much sexually active person who has been raped twice by my relatives ( already resolved) and has had an abortikn at the age of 17.however im also very much sporty and physically active. Iv slept wit a total of 7 boys including my current who is my fiance.iv neva used protection.iv been honest with him and iv told him about my history..iv done blood tests and paps smears that showed negative to all diseases..

My fiances background...

My fiance is a person who is socially, sexually and physically active young man..he is 24 and has slept with over 70 + girls with m being his last 1 as we decided to get married..he has had protected and unprotectd sex with those girls but we have been having unprotected sex ever since we got intimate.he has had blood tests is a frequent blood donor who donates every 3 months..

My current situation..

The issue here is that i recently had an outbreak with genital ulcers those associated with herpes..i went to the doctor to get meself checked and treated asap and so was treated..i was advised to take a blood test and so did but awaiting my results. A week ago i had my initial break out and a week before that we have sex..a wild sex whereby i ended up tearing my perineum..a week before that i had a UTI and underwent treatment..but after we had sex recently it ws much painful then previous ones..4 days after that i started to experience painful urination and had this blisters that turned into attentikn.saw the doctor and had treatment.it pretty much is better than It started..

Okay sorry for the long story and history but that it given to help you understnad my situation.the issue here that i wanted to ask is that both he and i have had blood tests that depicted negatives  in all..iv noticed that he has sores in his lips but he denies it to be a cold sore.he claims it to be blisters that occurs from smoking a cigerettwe...im lost and confused of what is happening..please. some help!!!

0 likes, 6 replies

6 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi there, I can only tell you what I have experienced since my first outbreak over a year ago. Both my partner and I had unprotected and protected sex with numerous partners. We decided that we would both be checked for everything at our STD clinics. We both were clear so we both enjoyed a healthy sex life. 4 months later I got sores around my clitoris, went to GP,s who said it was thrush was treated for that, with cream, this made it worse, went back, same thing, until 2 weeks later I was in agony, crying when I had a wee, so bad ended up in A and E. Eventually diagnosed with genital herpes. My boyfriend forgot he suffered with an occasional cold sore, so he showed no other symptoms. After me trying to work out whether he gave it to me or not, I was told by doctors and friends who had this, that it could be from your 1st relationship, one friend had even got it through his mother, simply by her having it when she gave birth, It can lay dorment for years. Full STD screenings do not show it up either, apparently you need to be infected to detect it, not found through a blood test, although I'm not convinced of this. Some partners can carry the Herpes virus yet not show any signs. To be sure your partner is right, I would ask him if you both could go to a clinic to get checked out, for both your sake, i would suggest that you would like support with this, and if not, I would be asking why not? It's not abut who has given what to who, because you will never truly know, it's about keeping yourselfs safe, also it's important to get as much information and support from a professional worker. Wishing you a safe and pain free journey.
  • Posted

    You or he could've had the herpes virus from any past partner and not even know it. When you get the virus, there are no symptoms. The virus lays asleep at the bottom of your spine. When it does wake up, it will make you break out in ulcers. From here, it is possible to have more outbreaks in the future bc now the virus is awake...OR you could just get 1 outbreak a year or just have one for the rest of your life. It depends on the persons amine system. 

    Just bc ur tests came out neg doesn't mean you never had the virus. Like I said, it lays dormant in ur spine. You won't know if he passed it to you or you've just always had it. What has to happen now is for you two to have protective sex if you are not having any symptoms of a possible breakout. I just found out last week that I have genital herpes. Your life isn't over, it may be a little confusing at first but you just need to take care of yourself.

    • Posted

      Oki the main thing hia is that yes i had oral sex wit my fiance for the 1st tym ( he ws the 1st to giv me and oral n so me to him).. the thing after having m 1st break out..i started to realise him having this so called blisters in his lips where he claims it being blisters caused from dried lips and those caused from smoking..i dont know what to believe... but any way thanx neena for the reply..was helpful!!!
  • Posted

    As far as I know, you don't get blisters on your lip from smoking a cigarette!!! Anyone with blisters on the lips should avoid all blister to skin contact with anyone else. This thing is so contagious when an outbreak starts. You both need to be extra careful with everything until you get more clarity from the doctors and you understand a bit more about herpes and how to deal with it; symptoms, infectious periods, what to avoid and when etc.
  • Posted

    Hi hopeful4eva,

    I replied to your previous post and hoped it helped you. But this topic about diagnoses and blood test I have no insight onsad wish I. Could be more of a help in all area. Let's all keep exchanging information and help each other get better and better. 

    Good luck once again! 

    S

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the community to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the community are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the community is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.