Im really struggling with my thoughts need some reassurance

Posted , 5 users are following.

Im struggling a lot with my mind lately, im constantly thinking negative and horrible weird thoughts that are starting to really bother me and my anxiety is sky high cus of it, im a good person im so caring and loving and would do anything for anyone so why am i thinking thoughts making me a bad horrible person? Im so ashamed of myself cus if people knew what i was thinking theyd think im a horrible person which im not its not me!! Its causing me such distress and anger and sadness not being able to control my thoughts and constantly think negative of everything and thinking of things that i hate and would never even dream of acting on! Im afraid that this will be me forever and il always have a negative mind, im only 19 and its horrible i shouldnt be thinking like this but i cant stop it😩 Can someone please shed some light on this situation because i really am a good person i wouldnt hurt a fly and i have so much empathy for people for the littlest things i just need to sort my head out my head is telling me im a bad bad person everyone will leave me il be left alone because im a bad person its horrible!!

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  • Posted

    Keep in mind, I'm not a professional but I do speak from personal experience. When I was around 17, I'm 23 now, I had the exact same problem. I couldn't control my thoughts, random ones would pop in my head of horrible things. I felt so bad and ashamed but researching it I think its a mental disorder called "intrusive thoughts" and is a form of OCD. So you're not crazy or a bad person! What helped me was talking to my mom about it so maybe you could do the same? Or even seek help from a doctor. For me, after awhile, it stopped bothering me as much which in turn caused the thoughts to be a lot less frequent, every once and awhile one will upset me a little but not like it use to, so hang in there! You'll be ok! You're not a bad person!

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    • Posted

      Thanks for your reply!! Yeah i get you mine come and go but when i dwell on them its so draining makes me feel so down😰 I gotta keep reminding myself im not a bad person its down to anxiety and OCD, i searched it up and ocd came up too but then i got obsessed with googling and thats not good for it either because google and bring up some pretty scary things and not everything on google is fact anyway, but im defo gona check up with the doctor soon because im just desperate to get my happiness back

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  • Posted

    You need to ask yourself why you are having so many negative thoughts, has something happened to make you feel this way ?

    My life was very brutal in the past and I could not understand why this was happening as my position at work was a responsable position and I was very careful not to cause any errors. 

    My main problem I was slow and was suffering a great deal of pain, The people saw my condition as a weakness and would know to treat me as such because I could not protect myself. This all seemed to set me off and in some ways would not wish anyone well. and I became awkward, and resentful.

    On of the jobs I could not do was lift heavy weights because of my condition and my Employer had bent to that and classified me as disabled so they had to send other people out to do any work that involved that activity, eventually the whole staff balked and that was the beginning of my Retirement.

    For over nine months they baited me and I would finish work like I had stepped through a doorway into another place. Until eventually I was retired and a great deal of worry lifted of my shoulders, although by that time I had lost all feelings toward my colleques and just waited to get my pension.

    What I am saying is look towards the job and ask yourself if the work is suitable for you especially if people are using your disability against you. I wished I had done that and then moved on. When they retired me of I was unable to work again and my life was taken over with Voluntary work, something I enjoyed and would hav e loved to do it as a Payed person.

    I made a big error of working in a job for thirty years that I really hated.

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    • Posted

      Hi im so sorry to hear that, im hoping your doing better! I dont know whats causing my thoughts i cant put my finger on it but i know there has to be something because when my life is good and everything is going well im good and my mood is good so i need to start thinking what it is that could be bringing me down
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    • Posted

      I once went out with a girl and  we would go dancing, she was a lovely person and one night we were standing together on the dancefloor. 

      All of a sudden She burst into tears and I was taken aback, I shuggied her to a table and sat her down, What is wrong I said, she looked at me with red eyes and said I am so happy. 

      Now forty years on I look back on that and I wonder what She would have done if she was miserable.

      We all do strange things, do you feel stressed just because you are tired.or just need ME TIME ??

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  • Posted

    I just want to say thoughts are thoughts. Im not sure anyone has control over them exactly. What you do have control over is the power you give them. The belief you have in them. Let them pass. They are but mere thoughts. You do not have to empower them as truth or any form of reality. 

    You are not a bad person. You are batteling against a disorder. You are aware. That is a healthy beginning to healing.

    Seek therapy and ways to bring yourself To a better place within. Love yourself as is and just begin to work on ways to manage the disorder. That is the best thing you can do to help yourself work through all this.

     

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    • Posted

      Thank you so much for that lisa! That means a lot to hear! I know there just thoughts and i need to keep reminding myself that and reminding my brain that, theres no reason for me to believe them because i know deep inside im not that person ive never had anything in life bad happen to me or ive never done anything bad or hurtful to anyone im too much of a softy! Thats why they effect me the way they do, but definatly going to look into therapy and start believing in myself too
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  • Posted

    Oh Rachel I know exactly how you feel.

    I was just like that last month. I was sitting at work feeling happy and ever so closer to God and then boom! This really horrible thought popped out of nowhere into my brain and send me into a frenzy. I was having an anxiety. I felt like God is furious with me(im very religious) and that everybody will leave me. I felt like I'm just going keep going down until I vanish, that nothing can help me make me feel better and make the thought go away. I would wake up shaking and scared and almost couldn't go to work. I almost quit my job.

    Anyways, I saw my doc, told him I have anxiety and he prescribe me something that made me depressed. And I mean deep depression. So i stopped the med.

    In the mean time k had lost 10lbs in one week! My boss noticed it, and because she is such a wonderful boss, pulled me aside and asked if my weight loss is work related so she can help with my loads. But untold her it's not. She even made a very good advice, to talk it out, talk to someone of what's bothering me and if it's a person that triggered it to talk to that person. Ofcourse, it's not a person, but I did talk to my mom. It helped lift some of the weight but it was talking to our member from church that really got be out of that fearful thought. They reminded me how good a person I am and that God loves me no matter what that thought was, because it's just that, a mere thought. It doesn't define me.

    I'm sorry that my story is kind of long, it's just that I wouldn't explain well what I want to say without writing out my story.

    I know you can get better.

    Correct your thought and try to erase whatever those bad thoughts were. I know it might not be easy and it may come back again, but you have to believe that it's just a thought, it does not define you.

    Get well!

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  • Posted

    I suffer from the same thing and it's debilitating. It's really difficult when you have to fight every single day to convince yourself this is not who you are. Don't ever keep it to yourself, share with others. Life can be great for us again...I hope.

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