Im sure my life is over

as much as i would likke to talk to one i unfortunatly was and still am home schooled to be honest i only have one friend who i am not too close with and everyone in my house just says its anxiety

I am so sorry. I can almost be certain someone in your family, relatives have an anxiety issue besides you. It is gentic as well. Maybe they are keeping it a secret. But its their.

You are kind of on your own until you are grown. So try to learn to deep breathe. You breathe in and expand tour belly and let the breathe out slowly and it flattens your belly. Do this twice a day and anytime you feel stressed for about a solid minute. Just inhale and exhale slowly.  Dont drink sodas or coffee. Stay with fresh water and lots of it or a lemonade. Saying its anxiety means nothing by the way. Its not the typical anxiety its an anxiety disorder so its anxiety multiplied by fifty. Its stinks. Sports arent a bad idea by the way.  Im so sorry.

With you its a matter of getting older, getting a trade, a job and moving away so you can depend on yourself and then you can get some therapy. Im sure you feel its never happening but it is. You can try every here and there explaining it to your father that you feel more then normal anxiety its very rough on you and sports arent helping much.

If you are a religious family and go to a religious place of worship maybe you can try talking to someone there? Im not sure here how to guide you. You are kind of in a difficult situation but its all temporary because you only have a few more years living there. You can get a job and save and save until you can get out on your own. Hooefully when hs homeschooling is done you are allowed access to a trade school or a community college of some sort. Either will give you a skill to get a job. Im so sorry.  Is their any relative outside your own family you can soeak too? 

no i only have that one friend my parents dont go to church andi live on the country side or the mountains if you would like to say that and also in terrms of travel we live very far apart from our nabors you could litterally scream your lungs out and no one would hear also as far as im concernd my father and mother both had anxiety that they got over along with my siblings who did the same but not me and it sucks cause im supposed to be an example for the ones younger than me but i just come off as a weakling who has mental problems and should not be looked up too and i know that its all my fault for letting it get this bad anyway thanks for listening anyway

Do not ever blame yourself for this. Do not ever acceot blame for this! People mock it because they have no clue what it feels like or they would cry and hug you. That is ignorance . It can play out your parents will be nasty about it because its stressful to deal with. Easier to be in denial and easier to be rude hopeing it goes away. A poor way to deal with it. Regukar anxiety can be managed easily. If i had to guess i. would  guess your Dad has and knows what anxiety is. He would be the ine who could relate to you if he wanted too. He might say some hurtful things to you like your a kid and what oroblems do you have..etc. but you see its an anxiety disorder not based on anything logical its a mal function to begin with. And it can be managed with proper guidance and sometimes medication. But if your dad himself is stressed and very busy in his life he might shoo you off. Guilting you into thinking your the example in the family for the younger kids is garbage. It makes no sense to tell someone with a disorder its their faukt they have it and mock then. A real good example would be your oarents stepping and properly helping you. That would teach everyone that family is always there for you and acceptance and love is the way to go. You didnt ask for this. You dont want it. So dont take blame for it. You didnt let it go..it origressed on its own because you have not been given the skills and tools to manage it. Look you live the way you live because your oarents wanted to be away from everything. Maybe because of their anxiety. I dont know. But what they are missing is the knowledge that it is also genetic. Do not blame yourself ever okay. Dont. Love yourself as is. Practice breathing with your belly. And keep trying to talk to your dad about it. Maybe take a walk with him if thats possible. He might not have the answers but he might be able to relate. 

okay.