Im sure my life is over

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im 17 years old and for the past 7 to 8 months i have had a very disgusting brain fog so bad to the point were it just feels like 78% head near the back half is just black i havnt gone to the hospital and i dont think i ever will there two reasons my parents dont wanna take me and 2 we cant offord it also i should state that i am a very stressed person i never went to shool just home schooled so i ont know what that would feel like also i had anxiety since i was 12 and ever since my father wants me to do a lot of psyical things and called my dream/passion not real and false wich was becoming a game desighner and even went as far as over work myself one day i just started spasming out wich btw i kept having since 13 full body spasms any way i just started having spasms an passed out because of mal neutrtion cause i overworked myself also one day i went to my parents room with aall of my muscles squeezing them selfs along with my lungs and i collapessed and slowly passed out i later then woke up feeling fine and that never happend since about a year ago that happend but now im suffering from really bad brain fog really bad nauseousness fatigue dizzyness and what feels like low blood sugarish symptoms im not over weight and i use to be so active till all these things got in the way and youd think with a family so big (13 people including me)someone would listen but no one will they say its all in my head and that its just anxiety all i know is that i have healthy blood pressure also im not really doing anything cause all the pc's that i used to use have all broken and we cant afford another so im using my tablet also i get palps and worry about heart attacks tumors cancer and stuff anyway im done

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  • Posted

    How about speaking to a school counselor. You have a ton of thoughts racing thru your head.  Is their one sibling you are really close with that you can discuss all this out with? You will grow up you know and when you are older you can follow your own dreams. But all this stress you are feeling seems like a bit much for you. Schools are so used to kids feeling this way so if you feel courageous enough walk in and see the school counselor. Thats their job. Way easier then suffering in silence. Your Dad might be old school where moving around a lot will take your mind off of the anxiety. Sometimes that does work, sometimes it doesn't.  This seems like a bit too much to sort thru all by yourself and their really is no need to do so.

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    • Posted

      as much as i would likke to talk to one i unfortunatly was and still am home schooled to be honest i only have one friend who i am not too close with and everyone in my house just says its anxiety sad

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    • Posted

      I am so sorry. I can almost be certain someone in your family, relatives have an anxiety issue besides you. It is gentic as well. Maybe they are keeping it a secret. But its their.

      You are kind of on your own until you are grown. So try to learn to deep breathe. You breathe in and expand tour belly and let the breathe out slowly and it flattens your belly. Do this twice a day and anytime you feel stressed for about a solid minute. Just inhale and exhale slowly.  Dont drink sodas or coffee. Stay with fresh water and lots of it or a lemonade. Saying its anxiety means nothing by the way. Its not the typical anxiety its an anxiety disorder so its anxiety multiplied by fifty. Its stinks. Sports arent a bad idea by the way.  Im so sorry.

      With you its a matter of getting older, getting a trade, a job and moving away so you can depend on yourself and then you can get some therapy. Im sure you feel its never happening but it is. You can try every here and there explaining it to your father that you feel more then normal anxiety its very rough on you and sports arent helping much.

      If you are a religious family and go to a religious place of worship maybe you can try talking to someone there? Im not sure here how to guide you. You are kind of in a difficult situation but its all temporary because you only have a few more years living there. You can get a job and save and save until you can get out on your own. Hooefully when hs homeschooling is done you are allowed access to a trade school or a community college of some sort. Either will give you a skill to get a job. Im so sorry.  Is their any relative outside your own family you can soeak too? 

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    • Posted

      no i only have that one friend my parents dont go to church andi live on the country side or the mountains if you would like to say that and also in terrms of travel we live very far apart from our nabors you could litterally scream your lungs out and no one would hear also as far as im concernd my father and mother both had anxiety that they got over along with my siblings who did the same but not me and it sucks cause im supposed to be an example for the ones younger than me but i just come off as a weakling who has mental problems and should not be looked up too and i know that its all my fault for letting it get this bad anyway thanks for listening anyway smile

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    • Posted

      Do not ever blame yourself for this. Do not ever acceot blame for this! People mock it because they have no clue what it feels like or they would cry and hug you. That is ignorance . It can play out your parents will be nasty about it because its stressful to deal with. Easier to be in denial and easier to be rude hopeing it goes away. A poor way to deal with it. Regukar anxiety can be managed easily. If i had to guess i. would  guess your Dad has and knows what anxiety is. He would be the ine who could relate to you if he wanted too. He might say some hurtful things to you like your a kid and what oroblems do you have..etc. but you see its an anxiety disorder not based on anything logical its a mal function to begin with. And it can be managed with proper guidance and sometimes medication. But if your dad himself is stressed and very busy in his life he might shoo you off. Guilting you into thinking your the example in the family for the younger kids is garbage. It makes no sense to tell someone with a disorder its their faukt they have it and mock then. A real good example would be your oarents stepping and properly helping you. That would teach everyone that family is always there for you and acceptance and love is the way to go. You didnt ask for this. You dont want it. So dont take blame for it. You didnt let it go..it origressed on its own because you have not been given the skills and tools to manage it. Look you live the way you live because your oarents wanted to be away from everything. Maybe because of their anxiety. I dont know. But what they are missing is the knowledge that it is also genetic. Do not blame yourself ever okay. Dont. Love yourself as is. Practice breathing with your belly. And keep trying to talk to your dad about it. Maybe take a walk with him if thats possible. He might not have the answers but he might be able to relate. 
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