Im too Scared ...

Hey, be proud of yourself. You have taken that first step to go to the doctors. Taking the tablets is the next few steps - and it will feel like a huge step each time, whilst waiting for the good side to kick in. But think of it as steps towards the light switch even if you can't see the light yet.

There is time to look to counselling and the underlying triggers etc, but for now just a step, a tablet, at a time until you are ready to face that stuff.

You have been incredibly brave in getting this far, and you can keep going to the next step, and there will one day be light at the end of the tunnel.

I have been on the tablets 2 weeks and the side effects have eased and there are hints of something kicking in, I am hanging on for the full effect.

Helen

i took this tablet last night and i was a sick as a dog. :cry: i have woke up this morning and feel like i have a massive hang over. Hope it is not going to be like this forever

I took citalopram for a couple of years, for the first couple of weeks I felt worse, and then much better. I've now weaned myself off of them a year or so ago, so there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Hi katleigh, i was not oging to post- havent for a while- as i get too naughty!

I understand \"the startled bunny rabbit\" thing.

Like you, at first I was too scared to take it. I first of all started taking it in the morning. it made me, forgetful, nauseated, incredibly on edge! Instead of taking the 20mgs s prescribed, i myself took it on board to only, cut the pil inhalf, So that then, I could just think\"its nothing\"..but everything got a lot worse on that dose.. my anxiety got bigger, so as I was told to take 20..I started to take 20mgs...my insomnia got a lot worse. I wanted to exercise ( rather , move about a lot more, I got so restless0 Then found myself feeling really tired, but Happpeee, to the point where I could crack jokes. ( Not like me, not without a drink). Okay carried this on for a while but my insomnia got worse and worse, makin gme more bad tempered, ( except the temper was in my head ) In reality I was calm. A lot calmer than I had been in the past

So i thought I was getting better. I wanted off the pill so that I could sleep . reduced myself at just before Christmas 2007, and found myself radging at my employee. I rang the doctor and asked for even more help( poor surgery, I reckon they all must hate me now) . regardless, my doctor listened and put me back on 20mgs, ( from what I can remeber) I think. He also gave me diazepam. That all helped for a while, I didnt drink as much, but I still drank. i was very scared in taking medication- i didnt really want to take anyting \"out of the ordinary\".

Anyway, after a time my doctor upped the dose to 30mgs. I didnt drink as much, though still drank, i slept much better, and I could have a laugh during the day ( ocassionally). thoug everything was still there. what I am saying , to you, is dont be scared try it out, there are things your docotr can do to help you through your lows- and never evr think that they just dont care, ( really at the end of the day, it doesnt matter if they think you are a floating bannna boat) You have to do whats best for you, and I am sure, by being brave (etc) that something will help you. Dont be scare. they gave you the drug for a reason. dont give up either, Be brave ( you were brave enough to admit to a doctor that things were off key) so YOU CAN DO THIS. Its just we all worry too much! I know this message is comples, but if there is helped to be had, take it with hands stretched wide open.

Good luck Kayleigh- youll do your best ( I am sure of it) take care, KT.

kkinsey...sounds like you've had a difficult time. I only started taking citalopram 3days ago so i know i'm hardly experienced enough to comment. However, i will. The first day i was so scared as well, the reason i'm attributing to this is the fact that here you are, you've walked into the drs and admitted that you are not well. He gives you a prescription and as soon as you pick the pills up, it hits you, the realisation that you need help. I stood there holding these pills just walking around for ages trying to build up the courage to take the first one. It was very difficult to accept that I need help, to accept that you have anti-depressants in your hands and have been told to take them and that you need them. I cried then took it and felt very weird all day. yesterday, i was horrendous. I cried for hours at uni and had a panic attack and anxiety. Felt drowsy and distant and spaced out. Last night though, it lifted and i felt better. Today i feel great and have done all day. Somehow, i cannot believe that its the tablets kicking in already, rather i'm probably just in a naturally good mood. Anyway, i feel great. The reason i'm telling you this is because I have been dead against anti-depressants for years and finally gave in and have forced myself to try them, after all what have you got to lose? they either work or they don't? simple. Just try them out and see how you get on, you never know you could get so much better ;oP

Hey all,

id like to thank you for your replys to my post... for some strange reason i felt all along like i was the only person going thru this difficult time. silly of me really. but now i know i am not the only person to suffer something like this. I have still been feeling sick as a dog today.. had terrible upset stomach and feeling spaced out and not really here.. like my head is full of cotton wool n i cant think straight. i have to admit that i have a problem as it was not fair for my husband to put up with the attacks and mood swings even though he loves me it does not make is easier for me or him. But to walk out of the doctors after hearing what they had to say and going to get my pescription was hard. But saying that i felt relieved that i had admitted that i have a problem and its like taking the first step towards breathing again. your posts have given me so much courage so thank you

Kayleigh

XxX

Hi I do hope u will get through this.my wife has just started taking them and although there is no improvement yet I will do all I can to help and support her.Its been almost a week.I hope you too have someone by your side to help you.Its not easy at times for anyone and at times I dont know what to do or say anymore,maybe once it kicks in we can put our lives back in order,Martin

[quote:7b8ad68c9d=\"kkinsey\"]Hi,

Um.. i dont really know why i am here. i have took my first step today and i feel like a rabbit caught in the head lights. After months and months of stress and tiredness and angry thoughts i have been to my doctor. She has given me 20mg tabs of Citalopram. But im scared to take them. I dont know how long i am going to be feeling like this for.

For months i have been feeling angry - i mean so angry that i have attacked my husband 7 times. And i mean attacked. Hes a ex police officer but it still has not stopped me from marking him. i dont know where the strength comes from. i am ok and somthing with set me off and i will explode and gun for someone. i have smashed up our house, our belongings and i am so destructive. im biting peoples heads off. but when i calm down i hystericaly cry and cry and cry :cry: :cry: :cry:

and i dont know where it comes from. im not sleeping well, not eating well and i have no will to live any more. i cannot see any light at the end of the tunnel.[/quote:7b8ad68c9d]

Damn right you should be proud of your self - takin the first step actually aknowledning that there is a problem to be dealt with .. i am on citalopram 40 mg and have been for quite some time now and i must admit it has helped me .. i felt kinda what you are feeling with an incredible amount of anger and stress built up inside me and no where to let it out- with out hurting others around me .. mentally that was .. but never the less .. Good on you for getting help .. side effects slow down after a few days .. Keep smiling and thinking positively .. you are doing this for you and no one else .. And there is nothing what so ever wrong in helping your self to have a better life quality .. once your up and running again you will automaticly feel the strength to deal with the problems that made you feel down in the first place .. best of luck to you : )

Gosh i wish these would hurry up and work.. i feel no better infact i dont feel any different??? had another episode last night.. not feeling great today..

Hi. i'm off wrk (teaching ) with stress/ performance anxiety, MY NP gave me Citalopram, and said I need to decide whether to take it, the doctor at occ health said i should, but i'n still too scared. I'm not as bad as some of you and I keep seeing the side effects and feeling it could , in fact make me worse, which i dont want. my problem was started by intesive bullying, and no pills will help that. i just don't know what to do

hi kayleigh,

hang on in there for them to kick in. Youare not alone I am at 2 and half weeks and now I have to stick it out a bit longer before the good stuff is due. Its like a bad version of the advent calendar when a kid, clocking off the days... On the positive side the nausea and headaches of the first week went and I have no other bad effects.

Piku - Different people seem to react so differently so don't be afraid of side effects that you may not get. Of course depression and anxiety makes us more likely to expect the worst, and the lists on the patient info do look scary, but it is still worth a try if the docs think it could help. When I was going through the sick phase and not eating for the week (force feeding myself nutrient drinks to survive!) I still felt that the sickness was worth the potential gain afterwards, and it eased after 5 days anyway. Even if stress caused by external things the pills can help make a space to deal with that in other ways - like a splint to the broken leg means that the normal bone healing can happen better and neater.

Just my experience, we all have to make our own choices.

Helen