Imagining life without alcohol

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I've drunk wine in the evenings for many years.    Started off on half a bottle, now drink a bottle a night.    I tapered off last year as I was going in for an op.     Did it over a few nights.   Stopped for a couple of weeks.   After op went back to drinking the same amount again.    Oh how I'd love to stop again, permamently.    My doctor knew i was tapering and she said just to do it slowly, so I know you don't have to take medication to stop.    I want to, and plan to, do the same again.   But.   I can't imagine life without alcohol, especially socialising with friends.    Can you have the same great experience without alcohol?    It sounds so pathetic, but it' so long since I socialised with friends without a glass of two of wine being consumed and a great laugh and fun being had by all.      Is there life after alcohol?    I'd love to hear from anyone who knows what I mean xx 

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  • Posted

    Speaking as a very recently sober person, this was one of the things that held me back for a long time. That fear of socialising without it. I had the strong desire to quit but wondered how it would be in social situations. Would I be thought of as boring? I think it's inevitable that when you cut down or quit, social things will be a challenge simply because it's new, it will feel different. Alcohol, this highly addictive drug, has worked its magic on you to believe that inebriation=fun, and without it you may have to just re-frame your expectations. Hopefully you'll come to realise as I have that a) the alcohol=fun thing is a total myth and really any social situation is what you make of it. Booze never makes a bad party better or a good party more amazing. Also that b) the joy of driving home after a party / waking up the next day hangover free / feeling 'in the moment' through the whole event etc provides a different kind of thrill and fun. Since quitting, I've been socialising more! I used to prefer staying home and drinking alone, but now I go out safe in the knowledge that I won't lose control and have any mishaps. I feel so much freer.

    Good luck to you - it sounds like you're really ready to take that step and enjoy the benefits of cutting down.

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    • Posted

      Peter, thank you very much for your positive and encouraging message.   You've answered all the things I wondered about!     Every morning I feel terrible guilt about the night before, then do the same thing again the next night.     I want to be free of it all.    I want to be more confident in myself and not feel ashamed of my drinking habits.   I want to get rid of the extra weight the alcohol has put on.   I want to feel healthy and aware of what's going on around me and be able to enjoy every moment, without the weight of drinking alcohol being on my shoulder constantly.     

      Thank you again and you have lifted my mind.

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    • Posted

      It really sounds like you're ready. Like you've understood that it's not about 'giving something up' - it's about gaining something. It resonates with me when you mention the weight of alcohol on your shoulder. It wasn't til I stopped that I realised how flipping exhausting it all was. Expending so much mental energy in thinking about what to drink, when to drink, how to fit it in, how to hide it from others. Engaging in a mental war with yourself each day, then dealing each day with differing levels of ever-present guilt. It becomes like a millstone that you don't even realise is there. Getting rid of it is great.
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  • Posted

    It is actually a very small proportion of people who are alcohol dependent that can reduce their alcohol intake gradually and then keep it at a healthy level once they have. People start with good intentions and maybe do well for a short period of time but then it creeps back up, as it has done in your case. That is why detox is a lot easier to do with medication because have a defined stopping point and drink no more after that.

    Total abstinence has always been easier to achieve, after having a drink problem, than controlled drinking. However, Nalmefene has changed all that and, with Nalmefene, there is a real chance for people to get their drinking back under control and keep it that way.

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  • Posted

    You are certainly honest and I can see several nice replies. Yes, there is life without booze...trust all the people joining this discussion forum and you will get brilliant advice. Try it and reward yourself and do something you would not normally do. I keep giving the same advice since it worked for me. Pls let us know about your progress since you WILL gain more respect from you family and those friends who take it seriously and see that you are making an effort  smile
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  • Posted

    hi, im new to this site but looks like it could help peeps..... im a drinker god help me sometimes i drink far too much... i can go a few days without a drink easily its when i do have a drink i always have too much ...... has anybody got any advice for me ? ive grown up surrounded by alcohol my mum had pubs etc so its all i know really im 43 and have my own business which is very sucsessful.... i just think i go off the rails sometimes?? x

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