Impulsivity...conquered...HARD day

Posted , 8 users are following.

I was really in a bad mood today...stuff happened last night and this a.m. that really had me on EDGE.  From 9:30 am...I wanted a beer.  So...I took off in my car...went to a breakfast resturaunt my sister works was completely CRAZY busy there...had to leave...she told me I would be waiting a long time..I wanted to tell her I wanted to drink...but I didn't get to stay there.....So...I started thinking scr*w that drug testing I signed up for..I didn't care...BUT I drove by the liquor store.  Found a place to eat.  As soon as I ate...the DESIRE was gone.

​ was a long ride to the next place to eat....and during that time...Impulse was going mad in my brain.  First I was going to drink, then I was going to get a tattoo, then I was going to call my sister and see if the kids could go to a movie with me, then I was going to go to an AA meeting just to be around people, then I was going to go to a movie by myself, then I was going to go to the really wasn't funny at the time.

​Its proof of how much our brains get changed from long term use of alcohol.  I needed some type of fix...and my brain would NOT stop.

​But, after I had the food....I was back to my half normal self....I ended up going to the convience get some medicine for sleep and coming home...reading my book...Whew!   I ended up having a good cry...too....

​What I'm trying to say is if you are trying to abstain from is SUPER important to change the brain...and it works quickly.  I felt myself changing within 5 bites.   And the constant reminder of HALT...

​If your in a tizzy like I was...HALT (stop) and think

Am I






​This is not corny...its really true and has been very important to my sobriety in the past to pay attention to these things and take care of each one as it arises...It was true today as well.  Hungry is easy to take care of...Angry, Lonely and Tired....a litte more difficut.

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20 Replies

  • Posted

    So true. I've been in that anxious state so many times and given in to the demon. But yes as soon as you eat something very satisfying and filling those raising addictive thoughts quite miraclesy go. Though it's so hard to do when your craving. Only an addict can understand this.

    So fantastic that you won this battle. Just think if you'd given in and where you'd be now. Horrendous 

    HALT is something I need to remind myself everyday. It's so important.

    Yes, I agree with the others, have you thought about getting campral?

    Anyway have a fab day xx

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  • Posted

    I have no commitments today so I've already drunk a bottle of wine,a home made prawn curry,half a pizza and now cooking spaghetti and opening my second bottle
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    • Posted

      Hey, Nicole, thanks for saying that, cos it's the same for me. I eat when I drink and I drink when I eat (except breakfast). I've always been told that people who drink too much don't eat and thought I was different, so it's good to hear there is someone else like me.
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    • Posted

      Hi H

      Sometimes I wish I was that sort of alcoholic because then I wouldn't be overweight but it's one if the reasons I want to stop it cut down.

      I used to be between 8 and 9 stone till I reached my late 30's when the drink really took hold

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    • Posted

      Hi Nicole and h1954. By eating whilst your drinking is probably why you still function with AUD. I wouldn't wish a heavy binging without eating on anyone. It's horrendous. That's why misssy me and several others on here end up in near death situations, hospitals, cells, rehabs. You get so very ill and the hangovers are truelly horrific. 

      My advice...keep eating while your drinking, drink lots of water, take the relevant vitamins and meds. Don't worry about your weight until you've conquered the alcohol battle. 

      Sorry I don't want to come across as patronising, I'm not like that, just want to help.

      Have a safe and happy day xx

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    • Posted

      I know your not patronizing fairy,and I appreciate your advice.I don't think I could have functioned drinking 3 bottles of wine if I wasn't eating as well,the doctors are amazed at my blood stats considering I was drinking so much for quite a few years but the down side is putting on 4 stone in 10 years.But I will conquer it,I'm determined
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    • Posted

      That's why I once posted here, is that the difference between an alcoholic and a very heavy drinker, is that the alcoholic doesn't have the time or inclination for food.

      The heavy drinker eats as well and drinks fluids, so a bit healthier, the downside, by drinking a lot and eating, the waistline takes a hit.

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    • Posted

      hi rhgb...typing with one hand...on phone with mother...but i do not agree with the statement..that someone who eats is not an alcoholic...i ate for years that i was a full blown alcoholic. i always had beer in my car for after work...and had the physical cravings all day...weekends were consumed with alcohol and me cooking up a storm...always ate before passing out
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    • Posted

      So true! Whilst in a drinking binge I eat normally, although probably too much. I also drink water and juice like a fish. Without alcohol and suffering withdrawals I just can't eat. Am hungry but the thought of food makes me physically sick. To keep going with family normality. I then need another drink to enable me to eat. Viscous cycle. A week without alcohol and my apitite back to normal
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