In Constant Worry About Everything
Posted , 9 users are following.
I'm a very sensitive and caring person and the last thing I would ever want to do is make someone feel horrible about themselves. I am constantly so worried about saying the wrong thing to people by accident that I tend to go through my days not really talking to anyone just so that doesn't happen. When I feel like I've said something wrong I get so depressed and embarrassed that I just want to sit and cry. I never used to care what people thought but in the last 5 years I've changed. I feel like everyone is judging every move I make, I never feel like I work hard enough even though I almost put myself in the hospital trying to prove myself at work. I've tried medication and therapy to help me but nothing is working. I know I'm not alone in this situation, it's so nice to have people to talk to who understand what it's like. I just want to feel normal again.
3 likes, 16 replies
poppy1994 chelsea04417
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alan14850 chelsea04417
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amanda1827h chelsea04417
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chelsea04417 amanda1827h
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You are definitely right, worrying doesn't help at all haha. As soon as I read your comment, I read up on Rescue Remedy and started it today. I'm going to look into Chris and David's suggestions as well. Thank you very much for the advice, I
appreciate it very much!
Chelsea
teresa03041 chelsea04417
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I certainly don't have any PhD's but you sound very much like you are experiencing some social anxiety. You don't mention whether you avoid situations or people because of what you are experiencing but it's a starting place and worth checking out.
Please take care and keep the faith!
Teresa
chelsea04417 teresa03041
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Chelsea
chris47605 chelsea04417
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As you are probably aware you are experiencing social anxiety disorder.
I used to have it really bad, couldnt meet new people and always felt like everything I said was being judged. Its really horrible but absolutely can be overcome with the right knowledge. Its all about how your brain is wired, when you enter a social situation you will have negative thoughts entering your mind, these thoughts then make you feal more anxious leading to futher thoughts. You might also be practising safety behaviours and avoidance as a way to cope, but this only prolongs the fear.
There are many things you need to do to overcome this, and it isnt by any means easy, but if your motivated and brave and really want to beat this you can.
As I said a couple of years ago I was incredibly anxious and perpetually embarresed in social situation, now I am a ski instructor, have been on the radio and dont really have much social anxiety at all.
The way I did it was by working through the book 'overcoming social anxiety and shyness by gilian butler alongside 'feal the fear and do it anyways' - read these books with a pad of paper and write down all the points that you find useful and then work through all the exercises.
You will be taught how to asses your own thoughts, how you can change them in order to make yourself feal better. Over time and with practice the mind starts to get used to the new positive thoughts you are creating and over time, eventually the negative thoughts and feelings will pass and you will have a new sense of confidence.
Its difficult to explain in a short paragraph, but if your read those two books, you will have a good understanding. Read all you can on Overcoming shyness and socail anxiety, become an expert in it, you can beat it until you understand it, so you have a lot of reading to do.
But you will start improving straight away.
This is a HUGE challenge, but when you do overcome it you will have an enourmous sense of power and you will gain a really really strong mind.
Please read those books, do the work in them and you will beat this.
Lifes a challenge, embrace it and enjoy it!!!!
chelsea04417 chris47605
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Thank you very much for the advice, I will look into those books right away.
Thank you!
Chelsea
alan14850 chris47605
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chris47605 alan14850
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Davesoapbox chelsea04417
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It is a pleasure to meet you and I'm sorry that you feel the way you do. You have taken courage to post here and I'm guessing you dreaded what the replies would be. Hopefully you have taken heard from Poppy, Alan and Amanda and I hope that I can help you as well. I spent so many years of my life 'fitting in' basically I would create whole new personas, create lies even adopt acents just to belong. After 30 years living with mental illness not getting any help I lost who I really was, I still don't know. The one part of me I most like is the part of me that cares, the quiet caring person in me, trouble is that is the one that gets hurt most. So that is the one that gets buried and the others take over. I'm not split personality by the way I just never felt that I fitted in. Your story sounds like you are such a giving person, you always want to be kind but sometimes being kind means being confident in yourself. You say you have tried medication and therapy but did they fail because you didn't believe in yourself? You say you put yourself in hospital through over work and I would imagine that you give 100% every day, is this because you don't have to believe in yourself to do your job well, you know your job. but it is perfect because you never believe it is good enough, even when complimented I expect you never take that compliment.
I guess the point I'm trying to make is that it sounds like your problem is your belief in yourself. If I could suggest anything it would be assertiveness training or CBT, Both you can do on your own and I get the feeling your a driven person when you want to be, so treat it like a project. And believe in yourself, inside you is a strength that can change the world, it is inside us all. All you need to do is allow it drive you. I have faith in you Chelsea
please dont take this the wrong way if I have made incorrect assumptions
good luck
David
chelsea04417 Davesoapbox
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It is very nice to meet you as well. Thank you very much, I appreciate your kind words and advice. Your assumptions about my self confidence are exactly right, I've struggled with it for years and can relate to your experience as I've also had to lie and make up a front about myself in order to feel like I fit in. I have such a tough time talking about my issues to people as I feel like I'm just complaining so I appreciate your reply to my post. I think you are also right in regards to the medication and therapy not working as I do struggle to believe in myself. I'm going to look into the suggestions that you have posted. I appreciate all of your help. Thank you very much for the support.
Chelsea
Davesoapbox chelsea04417
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I am always here if you need me (not 24/7) and I would love to hear how you get on so please stay in touch
Good luck and remember stay strong
David
Simpleminds chelsea04417
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New85 chelsea04417
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chris47605 New85
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