In Constant Worry About Everything

I feel exactly the same! I feel like everyone is watching and judging me whereever I go and I have to really force myself to go out sometimes. When I was younger, I wouldn't leave the house at all. I used to sit in bed and cry all day, I felt so embarrased and confused. Even now, I still get those 'blips' where I don't want to anything other than sit in bed and cry. It makes you feel so lonely! I had therapy and am about to start therapy again as I found it very useful and beneficial to me. 

I make nasty comments all the time .i have ago at my sons and daughter .my sister and brothers.i tell it how it is if they do wrong i tell them .im always moaning at people .im jealous .has my brother earns loads and he wouldnt help me .i have ago at people like my sister saying you shouldnt leave ur kids with others .just to go to the pub .everybody hates me my kids say all you do is moan .so if you want to chat

Hi Chelsea! You're like me a worry wort! But we really don't do ourselves any good! Have you tried reflexology? Do you like swimming? As this is also good for us! Anyway good luck ! Please go and talk to your health food shop they have several things. Rescue remedy is great! Regards Amanda

Hi Chelsea

I certainly don't have any PhD's but you sound very much like you are experiencing some social anxiety. You don't mention whether you avoid situations or people because of what you are experiencing but it's a starting place and worth checking out.

Please take care and keep the faith!

Teresa

hi,

As you are probably aware you are experiencing social anxiety disorder.

I used to have it really bad, couldnt meet new people and always felt like everything I said was being judged. Its really horrible but absolutely can be overcome with the right knowledge. Its all about how your brain is wired, when you enter a social situation you will have negative thoughts entering your mind, these thoughts then make you feal more anxious leading to futher thoughts. You might also be practising safety behaviours and avoidance as a way to cope, but this only prolongs the fear. 

There are many things you need to do to overcome this, and it isnt by any means easy, but if your motivated and brave and really want to beat this you can.

As I said a couple of years ago I was incredibly anxious and perpetually embarresed in social situation, now I am a ski instructor, have been on the radio and dont really have much social anxiety at all.

The way I did it was by working through the book 'overcoming social anxiety and shyness by gilian butler alongside 'feal the fear and do it anyways' - read these books with a pad of paper and write down all the points that you find useful and then work through all the exercises.

You will be taught how to asses your own thoughts, how you can change them in order to make yourself feal better. Over time and with practice the mind starts to get used to the new positive thoughts you are creating and over time, eventually the negative thoughts and feelings will pass and you will have a new sense of confidence.

Its difficult to explain in a short paragraph, but if your read those two books, you will have a good understanding. Read all you can on Overcoming shyness and socail anxiety, become an expert in it, you can beat it until you understand it, so you have a lot of reading to do.

But you will start improving straight away.

This is a HUGE challenge, but when you do overcome it you will have an enourmous sense of power and you will gain a really really strong mind.

Please read those books, do the work in them and you will beat this.

Lifes a challenge, embrace it and enjoy it!!!!

Hi Chelsea,

It is a pleasure to meet you and I'm sorry that you feel the way you do. You have taken courage to post here and I'm guessing you dreaded what the replies would be. Hopefully you have taken heard from Poppy, Alan and Amanda and I hope that I can help you as well. I spent so many years of my life 'fitting in' basically I would create whole new personas, create lies even adopt acents just to belong. After 30 years living with mental illness not getting any help I lost who I really was, I still don't know. The one part of me I most like is the part of me that cares, the quiet caring person in me, trouble is that is the one that gets hurt most. So that is the one that gets buried and the others take over. I'm not split personality by the way I just never felt that I fitted in. Your story sounds like you are such a giving person, you always want to be kind but sometimes being kind means being confident in yourself. You say you have tried medication and therapy but did they fail because you didn't believe in yourself? You say you put yourself in hospital through over work and I would imagine that you give 100% every day, is this because you don't have to believe in yourself to do your job well, you know your job. but it is perfect because you never believe it is good enough, even when complimented I expect you never take that compliment. 

I guess the point I'm trying to make is that it sounds like your problem is your belief in yourself. If I could suggest anything it would be assertiveness training or CBT, Both you can do on your own and I get the feeling your a driven person when you want to be, so treat it like a project. And believe in yourself, inside you is a strength that can change the world, it is inside us all. All you need to do is allow it drive you. I have faith in you Chelsea 

please dont take this the wrong way if I have made incorrect assumptions

good luck

David

Hello I m the as you I've never told anybody I'm worried I case I upset people.then when people say things to me I worry bout the things thy say for days even weeks sometimes I think I'm crazy in the head,I'm in tears over silly things that's not normal

Hi Chelsea, I often have this problem too. I am quite quiet in general but fine around people I know well, but I notice problems most at the moment when I have to socialise with or visit my boyfriends friends and family. I think I particularly worry about embarressing him more than I worry about embarressing myself! So when I'm with his nearest and dearest I just don't speak or join in at all compared to when I'm with my own friends and family! Then I worry that they must just think I'm really boring or wierd and its never ending. I'm so scared il put my foot in it or say something stupid around them. Anyway, you're definitely not alone. It's quite a tough one to fix I think - medication has helped me with health anxiety which is the worst of my problems but not really with this side of it. CBT is quite good for this kind of thing. I did a course a while ago I still use the notes from it now and again to remind myself to try and turn negative thoughts into positives. But it's not always easy. Good luck and I hope it gets better soon x