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Meant to be going on holiday Thursday. Been given the option to go or not to go. Going means constant surroundment by everyone and being trapped and not allowed to leave. Not going means being alone, guilt and regret. Feeling ridiculously anxious, keeping breaking down, feel really sick (and i'm afraid of sick), so tense and just feel ill. It's been constant either really energetic anxious where I'm having panic attacks, trashing my room, shaking etc, then just detatched from everyone, being unable to move, everything going so fast and I'm going slow, having suicidal thoughts and wanting to self harm. I'm so scared. It just needs to all stop. What am I supposed to do. Who am I to talk to. Everyone just keeps asking why I'm feeling like this and I just don't know.
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