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Insomnia due to thoughts I can't get away from

Posted , 3 users are following.

Grah-hound
Grah-hound

Hey guys,

I'm really struggling. I can't seem to stay asleep and can't seem to get to sleep most nights.

I've been suffering from my worst ever bout of anxiety. I thought I'd cracked it 18 months ago with being able to accept my anxiety. However this time my past coping methods have not been working for me.

I have 2 or 3 recurring scary thoughts- some more abstract and some just about if I will have a panic attack. I'm lying here now with 2 hours sleep or less and will have to go to work soon.

I've been on 20ml of citalipram for 16 days now and am hoping the insomnia is a short lived side effect. I just feel like it can't get better. I can't beat the monster that is my mind. Every time I find a bit of rest up comes another thought to catapult me into my head again where it's just full of anxiety.

I really don't know what to do. All of the small things you could do such as a sleep routine don't seem to make a difference. I had a full 3 nights without sleep a couple of weeks ago and I'm not getting much better.

Has anyone else had this sort of severity? Is there hope that I can ever enjoy life again?

0 likes, 7 replies

7 Replies

  • edwina97301
    edwina97301 Grah-hound

    Posted

    Hi. Haven't been posting a lot lately. Posting loads today to keep busy. Also relating to the posts. Had anxiety for years and my worst symptoms are racing thoughts, heart racing, shaking . And muscle tension. Sometimes I would dread going to bed as knew I would lie awake with racing thoughts, sometimes going over and over worries, conversations. Songs, anything, sometimes sweating , just driving me mad. Still can get like that sometimes have a good sleep . I stay up late , have you tried people's tips here on relaxation. I would sometimes cry as I would lie awake thinking all night, then realise 'I'm up in a couple of hour' my hubby would be sleeping like a baby I was so jealous😳. My gp offered me sleeping tabs. Then diazapam which I took short term to make me relax and a little sleepy. Also keeping really busy to tire yourself out, then relaxation, . Know the feeling like nothing will help and dreading going to bed for another long sleepless night. See your gp, explain , but personally would say you don't want long term meds as you need to get into a sleeping pattern naturally. I can sleep sometimes now from 1am and wake at 6am. Better than 1 or 2 hours then waking feeling anxious and rotten. Hope this helps a little, know how rotten this must be making you feel.😊??

    • Grah-hound
      Grah-hound edwina97301

      Posted

      Hi Edwina,

      Thanks for replying. I appreciate the support.

      So something quite amazing haokebed yesterday afternoon. I had been toking on an e-cigarette constantly because I couldn't find any peace in the moment. I then got some chewing gum and tried that instead while using the e-cig less.

      Then when I got home I had enough headspace to do some meditation. I was able to understand something positive for the first time in 2 weeks- that my kind is not reliable. I knew this already but I was able to believe it.

      I then got a notebook and wrote down how I'd been feeling over the last 2 weeks and what I'd read they had helped my understanding of insomnia and anxiety. Then i decided not to use my bed for anything apart from sleep- as I had been in it so much recently suffering away but unable to do anything else.

      So I cleared the room, didn't go up until I was ready for bed, and man I got to sleep. Wow. About 8 hours. Couldn't believe it. I think the meds are kicking in now too.

      Anyway I thought I'd share an article that I have found useful when thinking about the mind. Maybe it will also help you with your racing mind.

      http://www.drheatherstone.com/pdfs/Look%20-%20You%20Are%20Not%20Your%20Mind.pdf

      Thanks a lot for your input. I believe im in the beginning throws of recovery at this point. It's a long road and I need to learn some serious skills for the future.

      G

  • edwina97301
    edwina97301 Grah-hound

    Posted

    Just read your post. I'm out in Spain. Bleeping hot. I am so glad you are so positive and doing theses things to battle this anxiety. Everything your doing is positive, great idea just using bedroom to sleep as our minds work in strange ways but it seems to work getting things in order and having a plan, keeping busy etc. Good for you. Keep positive and tell this anxietybto stuff off. Anxiety is an illness but part of it is fighting it and not letting it consume our every thought and take over, thanks for your reply, keep me if you like updated with your progress, we're all here, for one reason, ' to get better and try and support others trying to get better. 😊😀??

    • Grah-hound
      Grah-hound edwina97301

      Posted

      Hi edwina,

      Thanks for your reply. Spain? Sounds great.

      So since the one good nights sleep it's been very rocky- good and bad. I slipped off the shelf again into the void for a day. That was brutal. However now I think the meds are kicking in and I'm able more to accept my condition.

      One major issue I've faced is that it got so very dark I didn't lniw how a person could be expected to live like that. Thinking back to how bad it can get abs the effect it can have in life is scary and plummets you back into itself. And then there are the thoughts that started it- abs let's face it, if you believed your thoughts were a complete falcocy you wouldn't give them any time in the first place. That's the really hard battle for me.

      However I'm doing better. I got about 5 hours sleep last night, albeit with a couple of large glasses of red. But I'm keeping just putting one foot in front of the other. I'll report back because I think it's important that people see recovery.

      G

    • edwina97301
      edwina97301 Grah-hound

      Posted

      Hi. Sorry you not feeling as positive, it's normal, . I look back at times I felt so desperate as I would have a good day then sh..  a bad one with my thoughts trying to convince me it was a one off and I would never crack this. Once your meds kick in( frustrating I know) it may take a while for you to look and see that your having more and more good days which will make you more positive , you'll do more, worry less and get that positivity back. ( lecture time) enjoy your win but don't go over those two glasses with meds, talk anytime, helps us all to talk. Great you got 5 hrs sleep , I remember 2 hrs every night , thought I'd go mad, like everything it passed thank goodness but cruel long nights. 😟😊??

  • ZEN.
    ZEN. Grah-hound

    Posted

    Hi ask your doc for something to help you sleep short term.

  • ZEN.
    ZEN. Grah-hound

    Posted

    Also when you are trying to sleep try imagining yourself walking down an endless coridoor locking doors behind you and leaving each worry behind in the room.
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