Insomnia throughout time

When I was little I had a gear of sleeping at friends houses but maybe it was because I couldn't sleep and my friends could. Alone in the dark awake for up to ten hours in a strange place wasn't appealing. When I'd get home and go to bed, my legs would throngs and ache in bed before I fell asleep.

Into my early teenage years my dad knocked on my bedroom door with a magazine advertisement that I'd read over and over before. It was about restless leg syndrome. The aches had turned into urged to constantly move and muscle issues.

When I was sixteen and a high school dropout due to anxiety, I quit sleeping almost overnight and worried and worried. And I tried to wear myself out physically and mentally. I had a black lab that walked with me from Sun up to Sun down until I wore out his hips on our farm. nothing worked. Family d.r.s thought I was on drugs. I slept maybe a few hours a week but not restful. Seventeenth birthday I had a sleep study done which was ridiculous since I couldn't. Luckily I was monitored at home with a bracelet and was prescribed, against parents beliefs, to start anti depressants which changed my life for the better.

I'm thirty five now and anti depressants no longer work not do anti psychotics. I can only sleep; calm my mind with alcohol. I'm a mess; but o.k. I don't rely on alcohol....I lay awake. If I do use alcohol it's not good sleep but it is sleep.

Broke my ankle 4 weeks ago and am lying awake in pain! Which is worse than laying awake with sore eyes. But through all this I will tell you what has helped me.

1. As soon as you want your day to start expose yourself to natural light despite sore eyes routinely
2. Laying awake is more painful than a windy city with dry eyes. Get up. Just get up.
3. Yellow tinted sunglasses help dry eyes and make the world look brighter. Did it indoors and out, on top of buildings in the wind while doing duct work.
4. Tell your doctor how it started not just your symptoms now
5. alcohol will make it worse. when you need to quit, good luck sleeping
6. Get out of your head. I can't do it without help. Do whatever that means to you
7. Try to quit obsessing over it. Only then will you overcome it.

   And I haven't overcome it; never will. But it helps not to obsess over anything. Especially my broken ankle right now as I lay awake not only with pain but with every memory tucked in my mind.....But it does help to get my sore eyes and doggy head up from my mattress of insomnia and try to cook a meal once in a while.

   Can anyone relate?

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