INSTALLING A HUSBAND?

Posted , 7 users are following.

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as: Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as : NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1 Al so Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and House cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate

DEAR DESPERATE,

First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6. 1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to re-install the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend: Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck!

2 likes, 6 replies

6 Replies

  • Posted

    Brilliant! That's the funniest thing I've read in ages.
  • Posted

    Sounds like a Mumsnet question:-)

  • Posted

    That's hilarious...!!! Best laugh I've had in a long time, thanks. cheesygrin
  • Posted

    Dear Desperate

    Where have you been? You ought to know that the technical progressives are updating all their models every month. Boyfriend 5 is already out of date as the current program is 9.2 with work in an advanced stage for the next biggie, Boyfriend 10. All the problems of Boyfriend 8 have been resolved although getting the diamonds offer working satisfactorily took some time. Apparently there is a deep flaw in the Boyfriend series as the macho attitude was never satisfactorily resolved and could surface unexpectedly.

    As for the Husband series, which is quite new, this has had so much trouble dealing with the concept of marriage v equality 7.2 and Homealone 8.4 not forgetting the new challenges of Boyboy and Girlgirl still in the early algorithmic stage. Tech support are valiantly trying out new apps that could give the Husband series more interest. They particularly want their new Empathy app to be acceptable so this will come with a range of options that should ensure the app will never oppose the Husband installation no matter how problematic the additional material (tears/apologies/begging forgiveness) increases the temperature so some fine tuning may be necessary.

    The demand for all the new services is growing rapidly as those in need realise there are solutions coming out frequently. Trials are being held with volunteers (we had to separate a few of those when disputes arose about what should be done to solve the bugs in the Lingerie series because 7.7 has still failed to get the mix of measurments and colour to an acceptable standard). We think it has a lot to do with the lack of control over the aforesaid macho loop (unfortunately used as an extension from the Boyfriend series before the bugs there had been tackled) which occurs at irregular intervals and often with devastating results. The whole system needs the Boot and a rethink.

    The best advice we can give presently is to stay calm, ensure all programs and apps are fully up to date and try not to confuse the Husband series as that can lead to another system breakdown together with the need for a re-install. This can be screwy as memory has a few tricks up its sleeves and may be capricious. Patience is the order of the day. Lots of it. This is highly complex and will take many years to reach a working system that is reliable.

    Consultants

  • Posted

    Haha!! I know I've read this somewhere but it never fails to give me a good giggle.
  • Posted

    Excellent ideas!! Everything is explianed on software basis ...I found it interesting!

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