Irrational thoughts?

Posted , 5 users are following.

Well I've been having really irrational thoughts that I feel like I'm forcing into my head due to my anxiety. It's like I purposely think of things that would bother me just to feel like sh*t and to get myself sick over it. For example the biggest one lately has to due with my relationship. I've started over the past couple of days questioning everything when there really isn't a reason I should be I just felt really anxious one night and the thoughts haven't stopped since. Such as "do I really love him?" "what if I don't?" "oh my god, how can I look him in the face and act normal when having these thoughts?". So I end up not acting right and seeming all anxious and he can completely tell so then of course I feel like I have to tell him but it only makes things worse and we've been going back and fourth with this for a few days now :,( I usually love seeing him and spending time with him no matter how much anxiety I have or if I feel like I'm dying but ever since I found this thought to obsess over I can't be around him without feeling sick or like I'm going to throw up because I feel so guilty for thinking these stupid thoughts that I just have to tell him knowing that it won't go well but I do anyways and I feel like I'm going to lose him and there's no way to make him understand, I've tried. He just feels so confused and played with and tired of dealing with the emotional bullsh*t everyday and I don't blame him one bit, truthfully I don't want him to go anywhere, he has brought me happiness in my darkest of times. I just have such a destructive way about me sometimes that I push people away and then later regret it and it feels like I can't even control it. Can anybody relate to this? I don't know what to do. But I know if I keep this up, I'm gonna lose him. And I know this because he's been dealing with my anxiety disorder for months now and it greatly effects outr relationship in so many ways and has taken such a toll on him especially now that I'm involving him in it. How do I shut off these horrible thoughts? Also I feel like this has a lot to do with that I'm getting my period in a week. I always feel so crazy right before it, like all I wanna do is cry and my anxiety is on a whole other level and my thoughts get so tangled. I just want to get rid of this feeling so I can get back to being happy and comfortable around him, how I always have felt around him. I've never not felt comfortable around him. I hate this.

0 likes, 4 replies

4 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi I totally get where your coming from, the feelings appear to be more the depressive side of anxiety and it's a common thought.

    Im not sure if your on medication but I'd see your GP to explain what is going on and the effect it is having on your partner.

    Knowing that these feelings are not normal and are generated by anxiety and depression and will go as you start yo feel better, in the mean time tell your partner that it's very common in depression and whilst it's very difficult for him you are doing what you can to get well and for things to return to normal, and that you care enough for him that feeling this way is hurting you also.

     

    • Posted

      My thoughts too. If you have never felt like this with your partner in the past then your mind is not thinking straight now. Depression warps our common sense and our thinking and causes physical symptoms. You need to tell your dr or psychistrist or counsellor as this is a new symptom.

      Hugs xxx

    • Posted

      I will xx I'm going to see my doctor on Friday. Wish it was sooner if anything I was always worried about him leaving me or not loving me you know? Or worrying about when I'd see him next so I definitely don't think these thoughts carry any meaning to them.
  • Posted

    Same!!! 😩😫😫 I hope you're doing well. Idk how old this discussion is but I'm so glad I found this cause this is exactly what I'm going through. I was always thought that you have to deal with everything in your own. I hate asking for help. And I don't even know to go about going to the doctor for help with anxiety. because I hate the doctor too!

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