Irritating , annoying comments about chronic pain .

Posted , 10 users are following.

Don’t you hate it when the able-bodied try to encourage you with cliches that no longer apply to chronic pain patients?

The one that irritates me most is, “If you can dream it, you can do it!”. or, "the power of positive thinking" ... Here's one of my favorites

just keep moving and be "Mindful" of your tolerances.

It makes me want to reply, “Really? I’m dreaming that you would feel my pain”.rolleyes

What at are some of the irritating response you receive from those who do not suffer from chronic pain? And what do you tell them?

4 likes, 369 replies

Report / Delete

369 Replies

  • Posted

    I would rather rant about the lack of "van with wheelchair ramp" accessible parking I backed into a hospital parking space so that I could drop my ramp.. some parking attendant came running over crying "you can't back in" I pointed out the lack of signage and rolled away at top speed.

    Pain, chronic pain, severe chronic pain I have had for 54 long years. I agree, a great coping skill is to find something else to focus taking Ziggy for a walk. Or soaking in a hot bubble bath to loosen muscles and relax me. Or using my tens on modulate while cleaning out CharlieGirl's cage. Or driving to the grocery.

    Mind over matter can lessen a bad situation. Try a dark room with a pleasing scent and soothing music.

    And just start thanking our good Lord for his many, many blessings. .

    I hope your pain lessens

    kind regards


    Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

       The most unbelievable things happen. Now that was worth a good rant.

      I park in handicapped with permit. The looks I get because I look ok, don't walk with a cane or look "handicapped" , the looks I get from others coming and going is priceless. I have often thought of taking pics of these screwed up faced looking at me, I can't even repeat some of the comments. 

      Some day I may  post a blurry version and caption .

      " You look ok to me.  I want your parking space."

      Oh, believe me I'd give it up I'm a nano second to have my health back.

      I say be kind to others you don't know what they are going thru!

      Hoping you feel better too! 


      Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      I too have had people question me about my disability after parking in the Handicapped space. One lady about 40 told me I don't look handicapped. She asked, "Where is your handicap, between your ears?" I angrily relied, "YES!". She walked away very quickly...

      Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      Some people are so uneducated and at the same time reliably rude.and at the same time there are those at the opposite end of the spectrum that will drop everything they are doing to help a complete stranger. 😇

      i have just learned to ignore the stares and hold my head up high and know that some day they may be in my 👠 👠. We all start to wear out or illness of some type eventually. I would never wish my pain or health issues on anyone. 

      I am so glad that you shared that with us because you see how lucky we really are to have many friends here and those in our lives that help and love us no matter how many close up parking spaces we take. 


      Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Thanks for this opportunity..lets have some fun ( lol)..." I'm gonna get you into the swimming pool"..."don't look so depressed there are others who are worse off"..." I have had worse pain and got over it " I remember when I had my last baby etc."  "you are not allowed a Gin and Tonic "...." when are you going to get up and make dinner "..." maybe the doctor made a mistake"...." try walking a little every day and you will eventually be able to get back to work "....I could think of lots more comments that make me wild...but I am sure others would like to get into this....great post "hope 4cure"   you are a wizz.....thanks to this forum for us...we can speak to each other without fear of B.ll ..replies...Love it.

    Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      Ha..ha..I bought a motorised wheelchair...but crashed it into the wall....and now it's gathering dust in my office...back to the ordinary one..but my hands don't work so I can't "power" myself around...have to wait for a "pusher"....!!!

      Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted


      I have 1274 miles on my Quantum. not quit...turn the power level down . take it slow...a parking lot is awsome placw to get adjusted...between my Quantum and modified van I roll and roll and roll...that what the wheels are for!!!

      Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      Gosh I wish I had a parking lot to practise in but I live in a remote jungle type mountainous region in north Bali...!!!cry As for turning the power down..tried that but it's about as slow as a jet fighter now..rolleyes Before it was a tad over supersonic. Maybe roller blades and two walking!!! But will try it again when I get a crash helmet....

      Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted


      I am in Colorado Springs, Colorado USA at 6,300 feet above sea level. My condo is backed to a mountain ridge.

      I want ro trade chairs...supersonic is what I dream of...5 miles per hour is barely moving.

      When you use the joy stick, use light pressure.. you are not driving a big rig!!! How about a road? or a roof top. or an empty field.

      Don't give up...and put flowers on the helmet...a purple, yellow, and orange helmet.....

      Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      Hi Gloria, I went to the grocery store today. A all day exhausting experience who would have thought. 

      T remember shopping for my mom all the time now I get why.

      Today most of the peeps at the store were very helpful. Especially when they see me rolling down the isle in my cart. I love those things. Just think the baskets are too low.

      I can't reach something someone helps me all the time. Even load my groceries in the car. 

      My hands are frozen from RA so my fingers don't work to well. The cashier ripped the coins out of my hand to get the change needed and I yelled ouch and everyone looked at her and she apologized. Sometimes it's just a matter of lack of education or ignorance inpatients when others are impatient. She gave me some mm's for Halloween ! Yummmm

      There are also a lot of very kind and helpful gentle peeps that never question just want to help. 

      Hope xxxx


      Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      colorado is beautiful. Lived there raise my kids before it got so crowded.

      the snow driving drove me nuts. Something I never got used to driving in.

      now that winter is coming look into a snow plow for your chair.hehe.

      I need to find a ice proof shoe with grippers.

      i remember a few years ago when I was in so much pain my dr said, "read the book I'm ok your ok". However a fear years later I had gallstones causing the pain . So it wasn't in my head. 

      Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      Snow plow??? Nope, I want skis!!!

      After growing up in Chicago, Colorado snow is a piece of cake...been here twenty it.

      My ortho doc is head doc for Olympic Team USA, Pan American games...

      Has tons of signed jerseys on wall. Thank youse from everybody but Michael Jordan. When my surgeries are complete I think I will sign and frame an xray of my shoulder to my hand with the 8 artificial joints showing up all shiny!

      So, what should I write on it?

      Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      Oh yeah we all skied that was a big deal then before snowboards. All the kids went to all the ski resorts. My favorite is Steamboat. Vale is lovely too, loved to ski the black diamond at Vale they were the best groomed.

      Loveland had too much ice. I nearly killed myself once hitting ice once. 

      So your heading to the slops soon getting skiis and boots. I'll bring my ski boots with me for my THR they are really used as a guide on the surgery  table to keep legs in line see you tube. I knew I should keep them.

       Not me on the slopes any more,  but I take my grand kids. They snowboard. 

      I'm getting out the chains. Hope you shoulder recovery goes well. You have FS ? Sounds like you have a good doc. 

      Hope xxx


      Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      Me put on ski boots and skis...on my feet???.....I want them fitted on my power wheel chair!

      To graduate high school, I had to complete four years of gym class...I did by playing pinocle!

      After both arms and hands tunedup, I want to do something big, really big to celebrate..

      So the new discussion is... if were able to celebrate really big...what would you do?

      Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      I was wondering about a golf cart...doubt I could find one here in Bali tho'. It's about five miles to the nearest shop...oh how good that would be. I do have a car and driver but getting me up into the car is a's so high off the ground. So I hang by my left arm and grab the drivers seat with my right and sorta swing myself up...I watched the local monkies for instructions as to how....then my old wheelchair gets slung in the back and off we go rumbling down the mountain side...The big supermarket is 10 miles away....we go there rather than the local market as it would be impossible to navigate around the holes in the dirt there and the wet season would be a trial. The supermarket aisles are so close together, it's a bit like a Robin Williams movie ( bless him )...avoid the boxes the staff leave in the aisles...or wait for a shop assistant to move them...Get my grabber stick from the pocket of the wheelchair...and use it to get items which are too high for my arms...being careful not to grab bottles and such like. We have learned to be a sort of train on our way round....My daughter pushes me in the W.Chair and I push the trolley in front of me...swerving round corners is risky tho'...All the staff say hello to me as I've been struggling with this for many years...but they seldom help me.....Little kids stare at my predicament..and I'm tempted to say " BOO" to them...but hold my mouth as best I can...Shopping is a massive ordeal........Give me a giggle please everyone, I'd love to hear your stories too....Hugs...Gloria

      Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      Oh I just remembered that there is a actual video on you tube with a doc in where else Santa Monica California does Stryker revisions. The doc sort of redesigned a table that was designed in Germany in the 1940's for THR. Seriously! Anyway the doc in Calif THR surgery table actually he redesigned uses ski boots to place the patients feet in.remember I a can ProGo e it I know where the you tube video ischeesygrin.

      The table has movable leg supports for easier femur implant as the table lowers the leg for access to the femur bone. This way it's not so hard on the back and the staff doesn't have to jerk the ankle for rotation. It's so amusing. 

      I asked my surgeon if her surgery table has ski boot accessories. Well unfortunately not as lucky, I even offered to bring my own. No go!


      Report / Delete Reply

Join this discussion or start a new one?

New discussion Reply

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the forums to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the forums are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the forums is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.

newnav-down newnav-up