Is cold turkey the only way?

Posted , 10 users are following.

Hi everyone,

I joined here in 2016. I received lots of great advice & so much support from people on this forum. I could be 100% honest here. I would come here every few months when I would decide my drinking needs to change & then I would return to my old habits for some time & again decide I needed to change & come back again. Here I am back again.

I would say in the last year maybe year & a half to cut my drinking down from 2, 3 or 4 times a week to once a week. This may sound like I wow you don't have a problem anymore but on this one night I binge at home. For those of you that have read my previous posts I do this in secret. I will drink before my husband gets home from work & then pretend I am only having a drink or two with him. He does know I have secretly drank, he discovered this some time ago & it caused of course problems in our relationship but I had continued to do it every Saturday night without him knowing or he may have suspected but left me to it.

I haven't had a drink now in 11 days so 2 weekends have passed & no booze. I have actually found it the easiest attempt so far. Part of that is due to the fact that we are trying to conceive & it would be better to not be drinking but I have sensed a change in me. I don't want the alcohol to control me anymore. The thoughts still popped into my head over the last 2 weekends to drink but I just knew I wouldn't. I would think about how I would feel afterwards that tomorrow would come & I would be hungover & so disappointed in myself. I have not sworn myself off drink forever but I have sworn myself of ever secretly drinking again!!!!

I am on another forum which is also very helpful. On this forum its about going sober full time. I am not sure if that is what I need to do. I do have a problem with alcohol, the secrecy for me is the biggest problem but I did manage to cut my drinking down & now I am wondering if I cut the secret drinking out can I enjoy a drink socially. On the other forum that is a definite no no. Is it possible though if I break this habit I have had for years as my go to for relaxation & anxiety & go sober at home do I have to not drink forever? Am I kidding myself that I can socially drink. Do I give it a try & see? Or is cold turkey the only way? I have to say I did not miss the drinking at home the weekend just gone. The no guilt & shame & clear head has been brilliant.

Does anyone have any thoughts?

Thank you xx

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  • Posted

    hi there!

    just wondered if you've read 'this naked mind' by Annie Grace or Alcohol Explained by William Porter? both really good books for giving up alcohol if you want to stop but are not at big risk of DT's etc. There is good FB group - alcohol explained - for support

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  • Posted

    Thanks everyone for your comments. In all honesty I want to just be able to go out socially & be able to drink & that's it. That it isn't a crutch just something that is fun now & again. I might try this in the future & see what way it goes because I feel stronger than I have before about no longer secretly drinking. It may not work as in when I start drinking on a social occasion will it end up as a binge or will I remain control.

    I will keep going as I am going and deal with the next social event when it comes for now no drinking at home is brilliant.

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    • Posted

      Sadie, it sounds like The Sinclair Method (TSM) or what Vickylou used (Campral/Acamprosate) might help you with that goal. I used TSM for about 6 months and it cut my drinking to under 5% of the 300-400 drinks per month that I was tossing back. I've held it to about a 12 pack per month since July of 2016 and don't feel the need to bump that up. I mainly drink in social situations or when out for a meal. The downside of TSM is you always have to take the Naltrexone or Nalmefene before you drink. Sounds like with some good sense and moderating techniques, the Acamprosate would have the advantage there.

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    • Posted

      Hi ,

      I have looked into TSM a couple of years ago after discovering here. Unfortunately Ireland where I live TSM is practically unheard of. My gp had never heard of it & in the end said she nor any of the other doctors at the clinic would feel comfortable prescribing the meds & supporting this method.

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    • Posted

      Did you talk to Joanna at C3 Europe? She might have some helpful info for you. She helps people on the mainland get covered through NHS on a regular basis and it appears to have been accepted by HSE as well. I'll send you a link.

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    • Posted

      Thanks for that, Robin! Letting people know there are effective options for treatment when strict abstinence doesn't seem to be a good fit is very much appreciated.

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    • Posted

      Yes I have spoken to Joanna a couple of years ago while I was seeing my GP. I gave my GP printouts but she still told me that no doctor at the clinic would prescribe the meds. At first she wanted me to attend AA & then she backed down after my 3rd visit & said she thought that in the future I would be able to have a drink at a social event. That I had come clean about the secret drinking & that I had been able to stop. I just felt like as she did not have a problem herself she had no real understanding.

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  • Posted

    Hi Sadie-dee

    It sounds like you and me are in the same boat. I have been trying to cut down my drinking for years. I too drink in secret to limit the amount my fiance thinks i drink. I hate it. I get married in 8 weeks and i am determined to be a different person by then. I want to start my married life not needing to fix myself. Well done for not drinking in 2 weekends, i know how difficult this is. Most weeks im fine Mon-Friday, then Friday night or more like 5pm arrives and my will power and all the determination i had flies out the window. I then carry on Saturday night and most times Sunday aswell. Spend the rest of the week annoyed at myself. Thursday comes and i start to get a spring in my step again and i blow it again on Friday ๐Ÿ˜–๐Ÿ˜ก. But im determined this time. I will be different and worry free by my wedding. The fact that you have made it through 2 weekends and you're feeling great has made me want that feeling and get this "habit" gone for good. Send me some of your will power please ๐Ÿ˜‰

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