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Ive just joined this site, never been on a forum before, so please bear with me..
I dont know where to start, so here is a ittle bit about myself -
I thought up to two years ago my life was ok, it was a struggle, who's isnt these days, but l was happy, ive never suffered depression (well at least l dont think so, unless you put 'feeling low' now and then in the same category). I will be 45 this March, l have always tried my best in everything l do whether in work or in my personal life, ive never married or had children (but have raised 9 children from various ages in different relationships) maybe that put me off on having my own lol. my problem started when l was being bullied at work about 3 years ago, during that time l saw 3 different doctors, my problem was that l was suffering from stress and a really bad fuzzy head every morning which could last from 1 - 10 hours, the first GP put me on blood pressure pills and cohlestral tablets, l could understand if l was overweight and suffering from high blood pressure. anyway l took them for 2 weeks which spoilt a good holiday at the time because they just sent me dodalli. The second GP treated me for vertigo, by this time l was now suffering from panic attacks, which was completley new to me and very scarey, but l was not going to give in so l changed GPs again, this time l was given busprine for the attacks and anti-depression tablets, l took these pills for about 3 months, but in that time it did not clear my fuzzy / foggy head and it was affecting my life in every way, l would not even drive in fear of not being alert enough.
I stopped taking the pills about 2 months ago as l wanted to be "ME"! again, now ive feel that ive gone 3 steps backwards, l just feel that im letting everyone down, l shut myself away as when l do try to speak to my family most of them take the mickey and tell me that l must be suffering from alzheimers disease like my father, which isnt funny as he died last year after developing it very quickly, most of my family and friends dont want to know whats wrong with me, which in a way l can understand, as ive never been one to complain about any of my problems in life, and my family looked upon me from a very young age to sort out their problems, and now l have a problem they dont want to know !
I have moved from my family and friends now to start a new life and l find everyday is getting harder, l cant even hold down a job anymore, the trouble is with me is that l dont go to the doctors or hospitals unless l really need to, apart from the fact l was put off from one of my doctors, saying he was too busy to hear about another problem l had and l would have to make another appointment.
Ive been told maybe im suffering from 'bucket overload', l dont know any more its just taken me over an hour to write this.
maybe someone can help to point me in the right direction, please
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