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Is guilt common with anxiety?

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tzumi56935
tzumi56935

I have anxiety and for the last two weeks, I've been feeling VERY guilty and disappointed in myself because I keep remembering random mistakes from the past especially ones that involved other people. Some of them small, some big but they all have the same impact on me. Also, I tend to think of some other situations as "mistakes" too which may not be mistakes but rather something I feel bad for doing even if it didn't have any negative impact on anyone.

In all cases, I keep thinking about the mistake or whatever I feel bad about and I get this weird urge to apologise for each and every mistake even if it happened a long time ago or even if it isn't exactly a "mistake" in case of which, I keep thinking of it in all negative ways until it starts looking like something very wrong I did. Like if I ask someone online for advice too many times, I feel bad for that too especially if I ask anonymously.

I feel like apologising properly for each one and that too, by explaining every thought or intention I had- positivite or negative. The idea of not apologising gives me anxiety and guilt immediately.

I know most people wouldn't think so much about mistakes no matter how big but I keep getting anxious over them and analysing them in my head and that only makes me remember more mistakes or wrong things I've done. I was okay until recently but suddenly I keep thinking of my mistakes as something way too big and can't get over it.

I feel unworthy and undeserving of happiness and I feel like I don't deserve to do little things that make me happy like exercising, gardening and similar things. I keep questioning if all mistakes are worth self forgiveness? And if I deserve happiness after making so many mistakes and wrongdoings?

I know I need to let it go but I feel so wrong to think of a happy future for myself and feel bad when I don't analysing my mistakes when I hurt others or had bad intentions towards anyone when I was younger. Should I learn to sit with the discomfort and move on? Is this a part of my anxiety response?

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1 Reply

  • sophie55585
    sophie55585 tzumi56935

    Posted

    I totally understand and i get bouts of this too, especially after drinking. its horrible. if peopled nice things for me,I can't handle it either and have to do something back so I don't owe them.

    in the CBT world, u need to challenge the thoughts - why do you need to apologise,for example? what would happen if you don't?

    I think you hit the nail on the head when u say ur self worth is low. your sense of wholeness is missing and you rely on others for your self worth. I do it too.

    I have no idea what the answer is but try to be curious and turn inwards - sit with the feelings. Ask yourself what's going on. it's a skill but by turning inwards, rather than outwards, you're developing skills for your own self worth...

    xxx

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