Is Insomnia and depression linked?

Hi Marie, yes it is and also, some people may think they are ok when they are not. For me, sometimes I feel ok but then realize I am actually not, but have been too busy to notice etc. However if you are going to date someone with depression you must be prepared for their symptoms and do not take things personally. It is an illness. Please google "depression" and learn more about what it is, the symptoms, the symptoms in men in particular, and what to do and say to someone with this illness.

Hi Marie, Depression can have many symptoms, insomnia, sleeping to much. Eating to much, not eating enough. Lack of motivation and not enjoying life are usual symptoms. Yes we do hide how we feel and sometimes we cannot share with our loved ones how we feel, we don't want to hurt or worry them and cannot open up. Depression affects sufferers differently and no two people will be alike. Read about depression to understand more. Do not push your boyfriend to talk if he doesn't want to, be supportitive and let him know that you care and will listen if he wants to talk. Suggest him making an appointment with the GP, he may also benefit from counselling as it is easier to talk with a stranger and this is confidential. Hope this helps.

Elizabeth.

Thanks for the replies he seems to be ok answering direct questions such as has he felt down or does he feel down but doesn't come out and say he's feeling down unless I ask him. He has had depression before but losing his wife made it worse for him. Something I'm trying to help him through and he seems to be coping very well. I'm just trying to get the right balance between being there for him and not keep bringing his wife up. He knows he can talk to me about her and has done a bit. Next month could be hard there's our first Valentine's Day which is also the first one since he lost his wife. He's said he wants to spend it with me. Then a few days later it would of been his wife's birthday he's already said he wants to be alone that day which I've said is fine.

Hi Marie

You sound very understanding, sensitive and caring. He is lucky to have you and your relationship sounds very healthy and honest. My advice is he probably just needs you to walk alongside him and be his friend. He has so much stuff to process, which will take time, and the right sort of support. Support that is not intrusive, and not demanding and challenging....just the kind that you are giving him already.

All the very best to you both.

Support for people with depression

Hello Marie,

 You sound so supportive and understanding. The truth is, you both have a lot to learn. I suffer from bi-polar illness. In 1991 I had brain surgery that trigerred it. Immediately I started to feel depressed. In fact I had a few suicide attempts because of the severity of my depression. The surgery had induced a chemical imbalance in my brain. I'll be stuck with this for the rest of my life. I too suffer from insomnia. But thanks to a great psychiatrist, I overcame my depression. She said to me: "Mike, unless you stop thinking of yourself as a VICTIM of the medical health profession, there is nothing I can do for you! Start seeing yourself as a VICTOR who has had a sucessful operation where the tumor that was removed was benign. The operation also helped cure your epilepsy. Think positive." From that point onward, I have not had serious depression. I only have to deal with the insomnia and some mania.You too can look forward to the future where someone will listen to his emotional woes. He may overcome his depression in time. There are good therapists out there. He will eventually get over the trauma of loosing his wife... especially if he has you to turn to. As time goes on he will trust you more about how he is feeling. Time IS a healer. So are good listeners. While I was in hospital after one of my suicide attempts, I took a course called 'Peer Counselor Training'. The focus of the course was how to become a good therapist or help to those in need. The emphasis was, to be a good counselor you must listen more and speak less. What most suffering people need is a good listening  ear to pour their hearts over to. I think you can be that for your partner. With you in the picture he is sure to get over the loss of his wife. In fact, some people who've experienced a traumatic event in their lives are diagnosed with what's called Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or PTSD for short. In my case, when the surgeons were starting the operation on my brain they were drilling holes in my skull which was supposed to be properly frozen. It was NOT! I could feel the pain of them drilling. I told them to stop... they added more freezing but I could still feel what they were doing. In the end they had to put me to sleep. But I was traumatized by the experience... not to mention the depression that followed. My surgeon just told me, "Oh - That's just post-operative depression. It will go away soon." It didn't. So I ended up with several suicide attempts. It wasn't until I was admitted to the psych ward for a month that they realized I had bi-polar illness. As it turns out, the area of the brain that was removed was from the right temporal lobe. That's the area of the brain that controls distribution of mood stabilizing hormones in your system. That's why I'll be with bi-polar illness for the rest of my life. I admit, my personality changed a whole lot, but I've adapted. In fact, now I go to a weekly support group for people with bi-polar illness. They are my second family. I have good stories to tell, and so do the other members of the group. How good therapy and proper medication really helps me a lot. Maybe there is a similar support group for people with depression in your area that your partner may want to join? As it turns out, this group has an offshoot group for family and friends. They help others understand what their loved ones are going through. I pray that such a group exists for you. God bless you in the future Marie. xxoo

marie firstvand foremost i have loads of resoect for you atnunderstanding and stick with the mannyou love. depression is linked to lots ofbthings and insomnia is just one

To answer your question yes they are interelated. Depression can lead to insomina as well insomania can lead to depression, you really need to talk to him when, when he will talk it out he will feell much better and relieved.You are doing the right thing talk to him.

This is something I have been looking in to for a while now. I think there is a strong link between insomnia and depression. I will give an example. My wife is a ling term suffer of depression to the point she cannot even go outside soemtimes. Anyway over christmas I had 2 weeks off work. By nature us and the 3 kids are all natural night owls and sleep in late. This is not possible whenI am at work and the kids are at school but over Christmas it was. During this period my wife went to bed around 12-12.30 and slept through until 10 the next morning. It may be coincidance or it may have helped with me being at home but after a few days her depression lifted a hugh amount and she became functional again. Oce I returned to work and the early mornings started again her mental state quickly deteriated and by the friday of that first week she had slipped back down.

I would also be interested to see if there is a correlation between someone being a night owl or a morning starter and depression? I suspect (but dont know) that night owls may be more liekly to suffer with depression.

It's only this week I have thought that his depression may be worse than I first thought. The insomnia seems ok this week from what he says. The depression still isn't obvious to me but bits that he's said have hinted it's still a problem but I have no idea when as he always seems ok.

this week I asked him yet again if he feels he would be able to work if he had chance. The other times I've asked he's said yes but this week he said he doesn't know. This led me to ask a few more things and found out he does have days where he can't face doing anything and if he had a day like that when we planned to meet he wouldn't be able to meet. Now I have never had depression and have no idea what it's like. But I would struggle to understand him not meeting because of it which I guess anyone who doesn't have depression would. This is the reason for me planning to talk to him about it at weekend so I don't get surprised by how he is and let it cause problems. He has said if we plan to go away for a night and have paid and he has bad day the day we go he will still make effort to go. So it could be case of both of us making effort to be ok if we don't get what we want like if he cancels coming through depression making sure he comes the next time.

I have wanted to meet someone for a relationship for a while so am going to do whatever is needed for things to work. He does seem to be telling me more about how he feels but seems I need to ask direct questions to get answers. Like if I ask if he's ok the answer is always yes. But if I ask when he's felt down he does tell me. So weekend is the time I'll talk and find out more. Also next month will give me some idea how he is as its Valentine's day which we plan to have night together for then a few days later would of been his wife's birthday. He wants his wife's birthday on his own which I understand but not sure if he will feel worse being on his own so going to talk to him and see how he feels. If he does struggle being on his own I will suggest spending a different hard day with me see how he feels then. August is the one I'm thinking as it will be a year since his wife died which is on a Saturday the day we normally meet and also will be the 2 year anerversary of me losing my nan same day. But it's up to him and how he feels.