Is it depression?

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Hi everyone! I'm a 19 year old girl that just recently finished her freshman year of college. About two months ago, I had a pretty severe existential crisis that involved a lot of dread of dying and overall purpose. I eventually got out of this rut and was able to return to my previous self. This lasted for a while until about a week ago. Not only did the crisis come back, but it came back much stronger. I have been experiencing extreme anxiety and will wake up everyday feeling sick and scared, often with my hands and body shivering uncontrollably. I have also been having feelings of not existing and of everyone else not existing. It probably hasn't helped either that I have been looking up philosophy on "no-self" and solipsism. The thoughts have never really bothered me before, but for some reason it's now all I can think about. I feel like my time is flashing by and I often spend most of my day crying and thinking on previously stated matters. I can't live like this. I have thought about killing myself, but would never want to cause that much harm to my family and my boyfriend. I just can't think of dying and forgetting my love for my family and boyfriend and losing all those moments I had with them, at the same time I don't want to exist because I keep having such emotional pain from this. What's wrong with me? Has anyone gone through this? How did you cope?

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  • Posted

    I had it and it went away and came back stronger then ever years later and i felt the same way.. I was lost, hurting,scared how was i going to die so i drank my life away.. I finally relized it was always going to be the same if i did not make a change. So i prayed to Jesus Christ our lord and savoir. Im way better now and am only getting better that God reading helped me alot i finally realized the truth i had to allow God to change me. I also drink a herbal tea works great.. I was lost now im found nothing to big or small for our God..
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  • Posted

    Get yourself checked in to a hospital or seek professional help ASAP. It's depression for sure. Sorry you are going through that much suffering.


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  • Posted

    You would have to change your whole perspective and state of mind. Everything you are and think is a result of your brain. All the electrical impulses working together to produce thought, movement, and to ensure all your body organs are working properly. The good thing is your brain is constantly shaping and molding, so therefore you can still change the way you experience life. Don't dwell too much on your existance or that you won't live forever, that is already a given and we don't have control over that. Instead, focus on what makes you happy and pursue it. You are not in full control of your brain. And while it may seem like we have free will, it is largely influenced by the chemical composition of our brain. Just go with the flow and enjoy it as much as you can.

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