Is it just me thats crazy!!!!!!!!!!!

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Hi Everyone

Does anyone that hates drinking and really doesn’t enjoy it but still drink? Yep I am an alcoholic-well so my doc says- been on Librium twice- I spend the weekend with my other half and don’t drink as I promised I wouldn’t again …but can go at least 3 days without so luckily I am not physically addicted….. but when I am home alone I drink, not like I used to which was 3or4 bottles of vino a night when my mum passed away.. but now 1 or two bottles . BUT I don’t enjoy it - I feel guilty, unwell and ashamed and drink alone and hate really HATE what it makes me feel.... Is anyone else like me – I can not understand why I feel the urge to drink something that makes me feel so upset and ill when not physically addicted??? Sara xxxxxxxxxx

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9 Replies

  • Posted

    OMG ...that is me exactly.  Wow!!!  Well, maybe not exactly cos I cannot go a day without drink.  You say your doc says you are an alcoholic....I have to disagree...if you can go 3 days without drink.  

    But yes, I hate what the drink does to me,how it makes me feel in the morning, how ashamed I am that I have to drink every night, the shame of not having the will power to quit, or at least moderate it.

    Oh Sara, bless you, I hope you can be stronger than I am and that you can beat the demon.

    X

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  • Posted

    ALL of you, Bardo, you are not alone. Very few people, who have got into difficulty with alcohol, actually enjoy drinking anymore.

    Being able to go three days doesn't necessarily mean that you are not physically addicted. Alcohol dependence can take different forms.

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  • Posted

    Hi Sara,

    3-4 bottles a night after three days of non drinking. Really ? Are you sure UR not addicted. Next time sop after two glasses. See if u are still not addicted. I can't even drink 3/4 bottles of water the size of wine bottles a night. 

    In my experience UR story is vey common. PLZ see a doctor before UR health is effected. UR body will learn to crave more and more .

    Why is it so common for alcoholics to resort to drinking when they need a pick-me-up? Or self medication ? Or for anxiety? What is it about alcohol that tricks you into thinking it can help you feel better?

    The answer is that alcohol is more like two drugs than just one.

    With a drink, the first thing most alcoholics feel is a powerful stimulant effect. So, alcoholics learn that if they drink, they'll quickly have that top-of-the-world feeling, where nothing is impossible. Unfortunately, this initial stimulant effect is short lived, lasting maybe an hour.

    Meanwhile, that same drink is now kicking in as a strong depressant. So once the initial stimulant effect wears off, you are left with feeling down, and that effect lasts much longer, many hours.

    Now if you counter the depressant effects with another drink, you will find yourself again with that initial boost, but you have also set the stage for a much longer time in the dumps.

    So, by tricking you with an initial period of feel-good, alcohol gets you to keep drinking, even though it's one of the very worst things you can do for yourself.

     

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  • Posted

    HI Sara

    YOu are not alone and this just shows how addictive and depressive alchohol can be!! Of course you do not want to drink several bottles most days of the week but you have the urge to do so. Like most people you have made promised but keep breaking them. Try to think ahead and perhaps now is the time to think long and hard of what your life would be like with no booze. Will you get support from your partner and friends if you stop and get moody or depressed?? Friends? Give yourself treats if you manage to stay sober for one or two weeks. You will get good advice from this messag board and people will only try to help since we have all been in your situation. Best of luck!! smile

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  • Posted

    Hi there. I'm so sorry that your Mum passed away. Do you think that you got into the habit of drinking alone when she died to cope with it and, even though you can stop drinking for a few days, you want to return to that place of coping through drink or you don't want to forget her so drinking makes you think of her, or you feel guilty for not thinking of her so much, and drinking puts you back with her? I drink alone a lot - one bottles, very easily, and two bottles maybe at the weekend or through the day into the eveing. I swear I won't, but I nearly always do. The second glass is the deciding factor as to whether I'll finish the bottle or not. If I've finished the second (large) glass, I'll finish the bottle and maybe go on to spirits. The habit factor is really strong I think. To successfully give up, I think you've got to have a strong replacement plan - those hours have got to be filled with something else. More important - I find you've got to want to fill them with something else. I play squash, run and write novels. Most times however, I'm looking forward to finishing those activities so I can drink. It's incredibly difficult and I don't think you're crazy at all.
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  • Posted

    Thanks everyone for your kind words and understanding, especially Paul Turner who again helps my craziness subside!!

    Well have been doing a lot of thinking today and I am sick of feeling sick. I have written down the pros and cons of drinking and guess what there isn’t one pro….I think it’s just a terrible habit then I have got myself into – one I need to break now. I had all my bloods and ecg done and they were all normal so I am elated about that but I know they won’t be normal for long if I carry on so I am gonna stop – Well stop the wine and whisky and drinking alone. I do feel I need a drink to give me confidence so I have decided if I really need it I will have a Guinness on social occassions but that’s it no more strong stuff – I self harmed again for the first time in months last night - I would never have done that sober. Bromley you are right I need to fill my time up with something – I have lots of things I want to do so just need to get off my backside to do them!! I feel better already reading your messages and writing this! I have so many different issues and booze is just making em all 100 times worse.

    So wish me luck guys I will keep coming on here and let you know how I get on!

    Sara xxxxxxx

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    • Posted

      Well done, Sara.  I wish you all the luck in the world.  You sound so positive and I will look forward to hearing about your achievements.  Keep strong and brave.

      Pat xxxxx

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    • Posted

      Keep it going Sara! You can do it. Try to stay sober although it is not easy. What can keep you busy?? Sorry to hear about self harm and that it inself is bad. Give yourself treats as you improve. DO report back to us and will try to give you good advice and not misjudge you. Best of luck
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  • Posted

    Its like u drink sometimes cuz ur bored . I used to do it for the same reasons . not sure if u are classified as an alcoholic who suffers with the disease ... But only you know that answer.

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