Is it possible to become a mother with FM?

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I have Fibromyalgia and was diagnosed last year after experiencing the symptoms for some time. I have good days and bad days but lately I have been feeling really broody. Do you think its possible for me to care for a baby even though I have FM? It really worries me because some day I want to be a mother. I don't want to let this illness take that from me.

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  • Posted

    To answer that it would depend on how much support you have in the home? In my personal experience and another Fibro suffer I know we both say that pregnancy made our symptoms worse. I was lucky although I have suffered I think from Fibro for 13 years prior my first child I didn't know what it was and a had a rough ish handle on things. If we knew then that my symptoms would become worse due to pregnancy, then maybe for my husband and my mother-in-law who helps me a lot sake we would of considered it very carefully. My daughter is 8 and son is 5. After my daughter I started to decline but not questionably. I could still look after her, work part-time and DIY on the house. After our son the symptoms started to be a bit more noticeable, I couldn't always DIY and got tired a bit more easily. I had 2 children, worked part-time and helped where I could.Now though I can't cook a meal and eat it, I work part-time but those hours are still going to have to be reduced. I can't clean the house, drive only when I have to and my memory is certainly getting worse (there is question that I now have M.E. too). For me it was this M.E. which has pushed things too far. I love my kids very, very much. I put all my energy into getting the kids to school on time, helping them with their homework and my work. There isn't much of me left for my husband. I have help with the kids after school and the weekends, but I still have to get them to school and organise homework. Therefore I still have to get up early, try and get my body and brain to organise them, lunches and maths / spellings. It's hard! You have to have a very good and supportive network around you. Bringing up any kids will take a very understanding and strong team. I'm glad I have them, they give me a reason to push myself in the morning, although I go to bed same time as them at 8pm sad If I was thinking of have a baby in the state I am now I'm not sure I would of. My health is declining quickly even since Christmas. I was ok when I just had Fibromyalgia, but now I have possibly M.E. it wouldn't be fair on the other adults.

    All I advise is think about the adult support you have and will have for the next 10 years. Consider what help you need yourself now and what if you get worse? Kids can give you a reason to push yourself but they will wear you out too.

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  • Posted

    I was diagnosed 2 year ago, I have a 4 year old girl and my husband and I have decided to try for another child. I agree you need to think about support but feel that going into a pregnancy knowing what is wrong nd what can be done to help is much better than feeling crap and not knowing why, believing your an awful mother rather than understand you have a medical condition. I understand the next few years will be very hard both physically and mentally but the love I could give a child far out ways that. Do look at all your options, talk to your doctor about what medicines are ok to take while pregnant and if there are any alternative treatments that might help. Having said that I friend of mine with FM was better during pregnancy so there are no hard and fast rules. If it's something you would consider adoption might be easier on you physically, looking at other options can allow you to understand why you want a child. If it's just broody hormones or if the desire for a family and giving a child love is your goal. Everything is possible with a little planning and occasionally thinking outside the box.
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  • Posted

    Hi,

    I love answering this question because I can easily say"if its your Grand Child how can you say No"if its a

    relatives"s Child-maybe you can restrict your hours because you know the saying IT TAKES A VILLAGE and who would care/ love them more than Y O U.

    However,to "babysit"I would say absolutely NOT.Why because "mentally it will feel like a job with no

    flexibility"and that would be pain thinking about what you have to do ........and you have to think about the weight of the Child as well.Or you could maybe be an "emergency sitter".

    I would like to know how others feel about this.

    Elaine,

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  • Posted

    Hi Elaine I'm a bit confused did your comment mean to go here? Babysitting isn't really the same as choosing to become a mum...
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  • Posted

    Hello Jo64855,

    If I am not mistaken.Princessmh89 asked the question could she care for a baby with Fibro......and I was

    answering to her question.

    E,

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  • Posted

    I read the original question to be about not giving up hope of becoming a mum, it is possible (not easy but the best things never are!) But on reflection it's a good idea about babysitting try it and see, we are effected differently by FM so it's hard to say one way or another. It's not a case of I have this so I won't ever be a mum, you will know if the time is right, if your body can manage it and if you partner and family can support you. There is of course the question of whether FM is passed on, as far I know there is no concrete evidence that it is or isn't you just have to decide that on your own. My daughter is perfectly happy and it was a hard choice to make, risking my health and wellbeing for another child, we did lots of research and spoke to mums with FM, consulted my gp and extended family but in the end the joys a child can bring and the benefits far out weigh the difficulties and possible problems. Fear there may be difficulties shouldn't keep you captive the worst may happen or it may not.
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  • Posted

    @elaine85769

    My question referred to being a mum, not simply being a babysitter. I ask this because I know I am a good babysitter. I spend lots of time with my friends baby and sometimes take him for the day to give her a break and will probably end up doing it more often now that she is expecting again and I do enjoy it but I also realise this is not the same as having a child of my own. What about those days when I just can't get out of bed? What about the times I cannot stand upright because of the pain in my back? Would I do it anyway and be ok or would I be a selfish person who isn't really properly able to care for a child and shouldn't have one? These are the questions going around in my mind so I wanted to get feedback from those of you with fibro who have had children and survived it!

    If I did have a child it wouldn't be right now, I am only 24 but I am constantly looking to the future so having children is definitely something I think about.

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