Is it possible to convert from gay into straight

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I am a discrete masculine gay man. Ive been deeply in love with a man for 3 years. But I really dont wanna marry or build up a future with him. Because I never be able to convince myself that two men can marry and grow old together. Plus it would be the greatest shame for my familiy if they knew I am gay. Anyway I should keep it short. For various reasons, I dont want this gay feeling in me. I want to absoulately forget it. I dont want to find men attractive.

Is that possible? Thank you

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10 Replies

  • Posted

    What has this subject got to do with Citalopram?????
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  • Posted

    Good point...just realised lol 
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  • Posted

    well, I could not find a more serious forum to discuss this. And yes I am taking SSRI antidepresants too, because of fear and shame due to my sexuality. You might be right though here may not be the right place. But still if anyone have any serious idea about the topic, please share here


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    • Posted

      That must be a terrible struggle between your mind and body. I'm not sure if there is anything you can do to make that feeling go away where you can make yourself not attracted to men. You may want

      to check with a medical professional to see if any hormonal treatment could help but maybe your best bet would be therapy to help you understand and work through this struggle. It may help with acceptance of what is going on inside of you instead of trying to change it. I come from a very strict Catholic family so I am so there with the shame game that happens when lifestyles aren't approved. I wish you luck and prayers are being sent your way.

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    • Posted

      Thank you for reply Margaret

      Yes I am terrified what would happen if one day my family finds out that I have an affair with a man. This constent fear has almost turned into a paranoia. I can never relax or have a poper night sleep. Recently I started to take SSRIs. Especially in the mornings i feel terrible. my shoulders and my neck is killing me. when i look at the mirror my face looks awful as if I have been awake for ages. 

      when I am able to think more logically I can see that there is almost no way that my family could learn about me. Because they are not even living in UK. And here in UK only my bf's family and a few friends know me. No one at work knows either. So I think it is becoming paronia and I may loose my mind. because I think about this every day, all the time. That is why I start this conversation if it is possible to stop myself not attracted to men

      Any suggestions please to stop my f***ing brain torturing me?

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    • Posted

      I think my concern for you is more of you needing to accept what is and know that a family's love needs to be unconditional. I say this because I am older and lived through a life of such paranoia of not disgracing the family name that when it ruins your well being you have to be true to the person you are and not living for someones approval. I could never go back to living like that and you need to love yourself for who you are regardless and not for what someone will think of you. This has nothing to do with sexuality because I don't judge You are free to be who you are and deserved to be loved for it if you are a kind person and do not intentionally set out to hurt people. I truly don't know if there is anything you can do to change you sexual

      Preference but maybe you need to explore the reasons why you think you need to. Hang in there.

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  • Posted

    Oh I so feel for you.

    Guilt and shame will take the best of us down to the lowest of depths.

    Margaret has given you some real good advice.  Like her I can honestly say that we really shouldn't judge people. 

    I know and have some really nice gay friends - in fact some times I meet up with one and walk our dogs together.

    You cannot help what or who you are or love.  In the drug rehab I trained in you have to accept this other wise you cannot move forward in life.

    I don't know your parents but the other thing I do know is that love conquers all and that the truth sets you free.

    Being a christian like Margaret we are all sinners and God loves us unconditionally and we are supposed to follow suit, good christian values.  A sin is a sin no matter what and they are all listed together.

    I am sure after the initial shock they would come around and you might be surprised that they might have an inclination any way - parents usually do.

    I was watching on New Years Day, can't think of his name Adam something who starred with the rest of queen - me and my friend joked why do all the gay men have to be so darn handsome- what a waste lol.

    I also sat and talked to one guy who had been married and had children, but just couldn't live the lie in the end, so had to hurt a lot of people, but at least he was now happy - when he came out. 

    I had to leave my first marriage, as I couldn't live a lie any more.

    Here's praying that you find the right answers for your happiness and good luck.

    Mel Xx

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