Is it possible to get married and have family with Fibromyalgia?

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Hello, before I mention my problem let me introduce myself, my name is Baye from Ethiopia, and I’m 33 years men, currently I’m a PhD candidate in Pusan National University department of Mechanical Engineering, South Korea. I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia before 1 and ½ years, but I had the symptoms for more than 5 years. I have most of Fibromyalgia symptoms, but the critical one is frequent Urinary, I mostly go within 30 min if I stay in one place. Forgetting things and loss of concentration, sometimes I surprised myself if somebody talk to me for more than 3 min continuously, I may not listen him/her after that. So this thing has bothered me for my future, now I am finishing more than 75% of my PhD research fighting with my condition, I think I can finish it within a year. However, what am I doing after that if I am continuing like this, it may also worst. I have a girlfriend back home and I am planning to get married after I finish my study, but how can I get married and how can I treat her what she deserves and having family within this condition. Is it possible to have family within condition? Please share me your experience.

Thank you       

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15 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi abebe39376 welcome to the forum. Having this condition isnt easy to live with. But you have to learn to adjust pace yourself rest in between doing things. Their is nothing to stop you from getting married or having a family. when you love some one you love them through good times and bad.you support each other through things and are their for each other and what ever life throws at you. I am married with a family as many of us are on the forum. you continue to get on with your life and lead your life as normal as possible . You can still treat your girlfriend to how you think she deserves to be treated.If you want to be togeather you will both find ways of copeing and adjusting. all the very best with your phd. easier said than done but try not to stress and worry about things as it makes our condition worse. 
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    • Posted

      Thank you very much kaz 40 I get relief having this kind of reply, mostly from the one who understand the situation. I was more depressing after the doctor told me about Fibromyalgia, even I never heard about it before. And the big problem was, you can’t explain the situation for anybody, even you explain it, they can’t understand because you are not in bed. Thank you for this page, I am happy now I got friends who understand me now. Thank you. 
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    • Posted

      morning meg How are you? Hope your week is going well so far?. hope your manageing to sleep well. Hope your not in too much pain hun. Ive had a stressful few days we had no car from sat last week. Hubby did a job on it when he went to start it, the flaming thing wouldnt start? He took half a day off monday to sort the problem out. weve now got a car funny how you miss things when you havnt got them and how much you relie on your car. Its wet gloomy here today. Ive got the headache from hell. The new bed we have is lovely, Im not sleeping well mainly due to pain. never mind plod on. hope you have a lovely day today rest plenty take care gentle hugs xxsmile 
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    • Posted

      Hi abebe39376 I have tried many times to explain our condition to people, and no one understands. The only people that fully understand is the people that have it. Fibro affects us all differently what medication suits one person may not suit another. its very much trial error with fibro. you have to find what best suits you. eating healthy trying not to stress worry paceing yourself trying to keep positive all helps to manage the condition. Its very much a learning curve for us all. symptoms vary also from person to person we are all different, fibro affects us all differently. all you can do is find ways of whats best for you in manageing fibro. take each day as it comes and get through it as best you can. Hope all goes well with your phd good luck with it. wishing you all the best for the future take care
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    • Posted

      Hi abebe it helps if you can talk to people that fully understand, how your feeling and what your going through. having good support help and a good dr also helps. if you can try to keep positive try not to stress worry it helps with our pain levels. This forum is excellent for support and advice we do all we can to support each other through this horrid condition. take caresmile
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  • Posted

    I agree with Kaz, you can continue living your life, you just need to manage your condition and learn to be kind to your body. Have you seen the appropriate medical specialists. Has anyone offered cognitive behaviour therapy, because that could be a big help to you in thinking and planning your future. My ways of coping are eating a very healthy diet, rest, mild exercise, and minimising stress. Keeping a positive attitude is the biggest challenge but CBT helps with that and if you can master it makes for a better life, and stressing less about the condition, somehow lessens it. I find notebooks, lists and notebook on my mobile phone essential tools for my memory. Using little memory tricks are good, like when someone gives you their name I repeat it back to them, to aid retention. Or sometimes I will link to an idea, for instance Christine I relate to Christmas, strange but true. Good luck with your PHD, I hope you get it finished soon so you can return home to your love ones.
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  • Posted

    Hiya abebe, welcome to us..of course you can get married and

    have children, very many do..i must say you really need

    supportive loving, caring and very understanding people around you.. i have my huband, family and church...being stressed out is the worst thing you can do....dont let this fibro define who you

    are or what you do...Fibro must not take full control of your life..try to be as positive as you can...ive had it for 30 years now, and

    there is light at end of the tunnel...i go in and out of remissiom, I only get really bad flare ups about twice a year now plus the

    ever present tiredness.but I've learned to pace myself now and it works well for me..i use lots of hot water bottles when i need to

    .also a warm swimming pool walk whenever I can..and an

    Infrared sauna..you will be ok...you learn what flairs it up and you either abstain from doing it or pick your moments...where there's a will, there' always a way.....really feeling for you abebe, take

    care, pace yourself, i really hope you complete the phd that

    you've nearly finished..be blessed...have a lovely day...keep us

    all up to date, we genuinely care for eachother..☺☺

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    • Posted

      I have a sauna..it had to be erected in the house, its infrared also ionic lights has a radio and dvd its great..because it is infrared its great it gets the heat etc, right through your body to your

      bones..it always makes me feel renewd.the ionic lights that are in the roof are very calming etc..it has a ti er and therastat..ive had it fir about 8 years now..i really dont use it enough..i put in on

      50degrees celsius for 1/2 hour daily sometimes more if im really sore..then im soaking wet, it sweats you out-detoxing you.

      .then straight into the shower makes me feel a tad tired too, but i usually am after the whole ordeal of my shower...its the drying off..with such arthritic fingers..you should google them..

      we bought ours online, after seeing it on a tv advertisemt

      and even after paying for shipping from the mainland we

      still only paid half the priice towhat the tv was....

      there is also a light for outside and one for Inside, i often read

      In it...be blessed meg, im sure ive forgotten something but

      google will inform you much better, have a lovely day😚.

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    • Posted

      Hi Mrs. Christine, thank you for the generous advising. I was nervousconfused before, now I know somebody who is living with it for a long time and I can also communicate with. Thank you, have a nice day... 
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    • Posted

      😌your soo welcome abebe, this blog site is full of knowledge

      and genuinely caring and empathetic people, we all know what

      its like..to adjust and live a good life with Fibro. be blessed have a great week. Also remember just blog us anytime..we are from all

      over the world so someone will be awake...😆

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